Not sure if im welcome here or not...
Alcohol-my only & worst friend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: england , uk
Posts: 8
Not sure if im welcome here or not...
Im new here so il just introduce myself.. im James from England ive realised now for a few years now that i have a drink problem, its taken up a big part of my life the only problem here is unlike many people on here im still drinking.. im not yet sober,
But i do wish to sober up. Im at the point of life where i do not wish to drink everyday im 23 years old and i dont want to waste anymore life i have ruining it by being drunk.
I do not get drunk everyday.. but i do drink everyday i would say i get drunk 3/4 days a week and the rest of the week im only drinking a few beers a day to stop withdrawal, i do shake abit and sometimes i sweat from withdrawal i also have anxiety issues which i have had for a few years now which is most probably been caused by excessive alcohol consumption.
I think i started drinking because i got bullied at school and it was a quite bad it was daily pysical and mental torture.. ive never really had any friends so im a really lonely guy all my "friends" are drinking buddys down the pub/bar i see a few times a week they are all older than me and we do drink to get drunk.. but we do have a good time, My family situation is not much better im an only child so again ive never had anyone to talk to about any difficulties in life i have faced i still live at home with my parents and we dont get on..
My parents are the main issue in my life and a big reason why i get drunk they upset me emotionally and i cannot afford to move out so im stuck here, they are ignorant people they are the sort of people that have told me to get over my anxiety and its all in my head, and every time i explain im anxious they laugh at me and make fun of me
also they know i drink alot and i tell them i need abit of support etc but i get the opposite when i have one or two beers at home to help with withdrawal they moan at me and get me down and my mother always tells me i should i should have the mindset to think "i can always have a drink tomorrow" attitude.. but shes dont get the withdrawal part.. so i have no one at all to get advice and to talk to about issues i have in life hence why i joined here.
I recently have made a few new friends from the pub i go to.. that are not as big a drinker as i am, they know i drink as they work in the bar i go to.. and we have came up with the conclusion we all drink too much and we should start doing other things apart from going to the pub, but ive ruined my new friendships already the other night i was out and met these new friends and i was yet again drunk and got invited back to their house and well to put a long story short i verbally abused one of the girls.. this is completely out of character for me and obviously the drink has yet again ruined my life..
Im not an agressive violent drunk but just lately i have said the odd wrong thing here and there to people and they have got offended, i can not carry on my life like this, i have ended up in hospital as i fell in a ditch while drunk on the way to a 24/7 shop to get more alcohol after the pub has shut late at night and hurt my ankle.. i have taken 2 seperate friends of mine to hospital because we have gone on a drinking binge and they have fallen over and hurt themselves, i have more embarrasingly wet myself many of times during the night before.. i often pass out on the chair and not managed to make it to bed, i often have blackouts where i forget what ive said or done the night before.. 80% of my money is going on alcohol
I want my life to change.. im willing to change and stop drinking but i feel if i stop drinking i will be more alone as i am now as the few remaining friends in my life i wont be seeing, so i dont know what to do..
sorry for ranting on guys.. hope to speak to you all soon
Thanks x
But i do wish to sober up. Im at the point of life where i do not wish to drink everyday im 23 years old and i dont want to waste anymore life i have ruining it by being drunk.
I do not get drunk everyday.. but i do drink everyday i would say i get drunk 3/4 days a week and the rest of the week im only drinking a few beers a day to stop withdrawal, i do shake abit and sometimes i sweat from withdrawal i also have anxiety issues which i have had for a few years now which is most probably been caused by excessive alcohol consumption.
I think i started drinking because i got bullied at school and it was a quite bad it was daily pysical and mental torture.. ive never really had any friends so im a really lonely guy all my "friends" are drinking buddys down the pub/bar i see a few times a week they are all older than me and we do drink to get drunk.. but we do have a good time, My family situation is not much better im an only child so again ive never had anyone to talk to about any difficulties in life i have faced i still live at home with my parents and we dont get on..
My parents are the main issue in my life and a big reason why i get drunk they upset me emotionally and i cannot afford to move out so im stuck here, they are ignorant people they are the sort of people that have told me to get over my anxiety and its all in my head, and every time i explain im anxious they laugh at me and make fun of me
also they know i drink alot and i tell them i need abit of support etc but i get the opposite when i have one or two beers at home to help with withdrawal they moan at me and get me down and my mother always tells me i should i should have the mindset to think "i can always have a drink tomorrow" attitude.. but shes dont get the withdrawal part.. so i have no one at all to get advice and to talk to about issues i have in life hence why i joined here.I recently have made a few new friends from the pub i go to.. that are not as big a drinker as i am, they know i drink as they work in the bar i go to.. and we have came up with the conclusion we all drink too much and we should start doing other things apart from going to the pub, but ive ruined my new friendships already the other night i was out and met these new friends and i was yet again drunk and got invited back to their house and well to put a long story short i verbally abused one of the girls.. this is completely out of character for me and obviously the drink has yet again ruined my life..
Im not an agressive violent drunk but just lately i have said the odd wrong thing here and there to people and they have got offended, i can not carry on my life like this, i have ended up in hospital as i fell in a ditch while drunk on the way to a 24/7 shop to get more alcohol after the pub has shut late at night and hurt my ankle.. i have taken 2 seperate friends of mine to hospital because we have gone on a drinking binge and they have fallen over and hurt themselves, i have more embarrasingly wet myself many of times during the night before.. i often pass out on the chair and not managed to make it to bed, i often have blackouts where i forget what ive said or done the night before.. 80% of my money is going on alcohol
I want my life to change.. im willing to change and stop drinking but i feel if i stop drinking i will be more alone as i am now as the few remaining friends in my life i wont be seeing, so i dont know what to do..
sorry for ranting on guys.. hope to speak to you all soon
Thanks x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Really glad you're here James 
It sounds like you've had a rough time of it but it doesn't have to be this way.
I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. My parents came from the school of thought that you sort your own problems out, so despite having very obvious problems growing up I never got any help with them. What I really wish I had done now is gone to the doctors and got the support I badly needed. Especially being young there is a lot of support out there. Your doctor can refer you to a local alcohol dependence agency and get you counselling too. Also they can offer advice about withdrawals. It is worth mentioning though that they will probably suggest that you cut down. That isn't the easiest thing to do for people who are dependent on alcohol but they don't seem to understand that. For me quitting completely was the only option and I found it important to get support from other people in the same position.
Don't worry too much about the friends thing for now. It is likely you will be much better at this when you're sober but it would be useful to have a bit of time to yourself to let yourself get better first x
It sounds like you've had a rough time of it but it doesn't have to be this way.
I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. My parents came from the school of thought that you sort your own problems out, so despite having very obvious problems growing up I never got any help with them. What I really wish I had done now is gone to the doctors and got the support I badly needed. Especially being young there is a lot of support out there. Your doctor can refer you to a local alcohol dependence agency and get you counselling too. Also they can offer advice about withdrawals. It is worth mentioning though that they will probably suggest that you cut down. That isn't the easiest thing to do for people who are dependent on alcohol but they don't seem to understand that. For me quitting completely was the only option and I found it important to get support from other people in the same position.
Don't worry too much about the friends thing for now. It is likely you will be much better at this when you're sober but it would be useful to have a bit of time to yourself to let yourself get better first x
Giving up alcohol is the first step to making your life better. You've come to a very supportive place!
Alcohol-my only & worst friend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: england , uk
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by hypochondriac 
Really glad you're here James
It sounds like you've had a rough time of it but it doesn't have to be this way.
I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. My parents came from the school of thought that you sort your own problems out, so despite having very obvious problems growing up I never got any help with them. What I really wish I had done now is gone to the doctors and got the support I badly needed. Especially being young there is a lot of support out there. Your doctor can refer you to a local alcohol dependence agency and get you counselling too. Also they can offer advice about withdrawals. It is worth mentioning though that they will probably suggest that you cut down. That isn't the easiest thing to do for people who are dependent on alcohol but they don't seem to understand that. For me quitting completely was the only option and I found it important to get support from other people in the same position.
Don't worry too much about the friends thing for now. It is likely you will be much better at this when you're sober but it would be useful to have a bit of time to yourself to let yourself get better first x
It sounds like you've had a rough time of it but it doesn't have to be this way.
I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. My parents came from the school of thought that you sort your own problems out, so despite having very obvious problems growing up I never got any help with them. What I really wish I had done now is gone to the doctors and got the support I badly needed. Especially being young there is a lot of support out there. Your doctor can refer you to a local alcohol dependence agency and get you counselling too. Also they can offer advice about withdrawals. It is worth mentioning though that they will probably suggest that you cut down. That isn't the easiest thing to do for people who are dependent on alcohol but they don't seem to understand that. For me quitting completely was the only option and I found it important to get support from other people in the same position.
Don't worry too much about the friends thing for now. It is likely you will be much better at this when you're sober but it would be useful to have a bit of time to yourself to let yourself get better first x
When i was about 20 years old when my anxiety was at its worst, i hardly ever went out the house (i only did to buy alcohol that i drunk indoors) i did not work as i was in this rut i was going to the doctors regulary i asked about counselling and as i was not working at the time i went for 8 weeks only an hour a week but it really helped me, im not interested in paying for it tho now im working as i need to save money,.. my doctor suggested i go to a detox centre but he said if i do i need to be commited as id only get one chance and wouldnt be be advised to never drink again, i am 23 years old and im not willing to "never" drink again.. i just want to cut down alot and the heartache that goes with drinking to vanish,
My aim is to be perfectly honest cut down so withdrawal wont be bad for when i quit, im planning on quitting for a while (altho not forever) i want to be able to take or leave alcohol then for the future be able to drink socially i know some people cannot do this but i want to try.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I wasn't sober when I first got here, but I am now. This is the place to work all that out, learn as we go.
The first step is saying "I've got a problem, what do I do next"
welcome on board.
The first step is saying "I've got a problem, what do I do next"
welcome on board.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 156
Looks like you're in the right place. 23 is terribly young. I remember 23 like yesterday (I'm 32). Trust me, do as much as you ambitiously want to because I had so much more ambition and was much more sober (drunk 3 or so days a week) in my 20s. When I hit 30 a couple years ago it scared the crap out of me and made me realize I pissed away half of my 20s.
God bless and nice to see you here.
God bless and nice to see you here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Hi and welcome. You may wish to find an AA meeting and you will find sober friends there who will support your new goals. I found that the more resolved I became to quit, the more out of control my drinking became. It's like the alcoholic me rebelled against the me who wanted to get better and healthier, and tried to completely take over. Although not drinking sounds hard, and it is, there is also a feeling of freedom and release that comes from quitting. You are more focused, the healthy side of you has finally gained control, and you can continue down a better path. I'm glad you're here and hope you can get and stay sober. We understand the struggle. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by bigjim89
My aim is to be perfectly honest cut down so withdrawal wont be bad for when i quit, im planning on quitting for a while (altho not forever) i want to be able to take or leave alcohol then for the future be able to drink socially i know some people cannot do this but i want to try.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome James
Everyone here knows how you feel- I think everyone worried what their life would be like.
There's thousands of people here who've left alcohol and drugs behind and found a great new life - I'm one of them - I rediscovered a me I'd forgotten existed.
Noone would stay in recovery if they felt they lost on the deal - I hope you'll give it a try
If you're worried about withdrawal, I recommend you see a Dr rather than trying to cut back - getting some professional advice is best I think.
As for someday learning to take or leave it - I wish you luck, but if you're like most of us, I'm guessing you've already tried some version of cutting back and not found much success?
Admitting and accepting that was a real turning point for me - leaving alcohol behind changed my life immeasurably for the better
D
Everyone here knows how you feel- I think everyone worried what their life would be like.
There's thousands of people here who've left alcohol and drugs behind and found a great new life - I'm one of them - I rediscovered a me I'd forgotten existed.
Noone would stay in recovery if they felt they lost on the deal - I hope you'll give it a try
If you're worried about withdrawal, I recommend you see a Dr rather than trying to cut back - getting some professional advice is best I think.
As for someday learning to take or leave it - I wish you luck, but if you're like most of us, I'm guessing you've already tried some version of cutting back and not found much success?
Admitting and accepting that was a real turning point for me - leaving alcohol behind changed my life immeasurably for the better
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 54
your way to young to be hurting yourself like that- join a gym ect find healthy ways to keep busy and as for your parents well they are parents they are not you. you sound like you have a good head on your shoulder besides the drink join a gym, church ect something that helps fill the time and remember your worth it!
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