john44

Ya know, I just read this back to myself and I am so grateful not to be in that place. I really do have a lot to be grateful about. Although I've hurt quite a few people due to my drinking, they are behind me, supporting my sobriety and happy to have the real John back in their lives. I am so grateful for this and find that when I think about the things I'm grateful for and humbly give thanks for them, my anxiety lifts somewhat to be replaced by a small measure of peace.

2granddaughters

Right on !!
This will be behind you soon. Don't step in the poop again and all will be well.
You are right where you are supposed to be.

Bob R

john44

No more poop for me. Physically, I just couldn't (and wouldn't want to) handle another withdrawal. Emotionally, it would shatter me and deeply harm my loved ones.

A friend called me this morning. He relapsed and is in pretty bad shape. He really needs to be in the hospital... he's had seizures from w/ds before. I offered to drive him to the hospital and stay with him until he was admitted. He gave me tons of excuses why going to the hospital was a bad idea. Not one excuse was valid and I made sure he knew this. He's still drinking. Now that I'm sober, I can see how the alcoholic mind works....how the disease can put false ideas in your head so that you keep drinking. It's a sad, scary thing.

hypochondriac

I'm glad you're sober now John. Well done on 38 days!!

Like others have said, the anxiety you're having is completely normal. I hope everything goes well for you.

I have had horrible panic attacks in the past and what helped me was talking to someone about it. They didn't do anything or even say much to help but it seemed to make it easier knowing that someone nearby knew what was going on with me. I also read a few books on panic attacks which used CBT type methods...writing down when the attack happened and rating it. For some reason that helped loads.

I would think about stepping up the support you have too. If AA is even remotely getting on your nerves, make sure you have another option available to you. Try a SMART meeting or go to see an addiction counsellor, even just posting on here more x

Dee74

I think it's absolutely normal to freak out a bit when faced with something like this John.

I'm hoping your earnest efforts in recovery will be taken into account...remember we're all behind you

D