justhadenough

Has anyone found it difficult to make a serious decision when sober.I'm 6 weeks tomorrow and for the first time in a long time I feel mentally stronger and in control.

I'm a sahm at the moment (pre-schooler)and my husband works full time. I've just been offered a job and really can't decide whether to take it or not

On one hand I'm scared being in a pressurized environment will compromise my sobriety but on the other a new challenge/new focus could be a good thing.The money will obviously be useful but I'm nervous about putting my child in childcare fulltime.

I know no one can answer or decide for me-I just can't decide.Maybe writing it down will help me clarify. I don't recall ever being so indecisive before and just feel in turmoil.

Anna

Well, it's a very big decision you are about to make, so it's bound to be a bit confusing. Maybe you could try to write a list of pros and cons and see if that helps to sort it out.

Deserto

Hi Just, I agree with Anna -- it's a big decision, so maybe being sober has nothing to do with the indecisiveness? Or maybe being sober is allowing you to see that it is a big decision?

I think making a list of pros and cons is good advice. I also think sometimes it's helpful to step back and ask, "What do I want my life to look like?" Sometimes those bigger questions help us to see past immediate decisions (like whether or not to take the job) and see how those decisions fit into larger goals.

Whatever you decide, you can rest assured that making the decision sober means you'll have thought it through. Good luck!

justhadenough

Thanks Anna & Deserto

Deserto,you have mentioned key point.We are planning on leaving the area in the next couple of years to be closer to family so it would probably be short term thing so it doesn't fit into long term goals, it's more a short term financial issue and something for me to focus on but I think if we do move what is the point.However, if we don't move then I would want to stay longer.They are aware of this and it suits their needs too.

You are right though,being sober is making me think about it more thoroughly-I@m just scared of making the wrong decision-I don't know what that is

freshstart57

I do what Anna says sometimes, but I try to look at it from all sides, like this: take the job, pros and cons. Don't take the job, pros and cons. If there is no big downside to either option, then it doesn't matter which way you go - just pick one and be determined that it will work out for the best.

Another way, sort of a mindfulness trick, is to flip a coin. In the instant the coin is in the air and before you know how it has landed, your mind will have told you which way it hopes things will go. Do that.

From what you said, I think you like the idea of a new challenge, JustHadEnough. It could be the kick in the pants you are looking for.

NoFireWater

I say "go for it" and see if you like it. You can always quit if it doesn't work for your family. Would there be an option to go part time so you wouldn't have to keep your child in daycare all day everyday? It feels like changes help when you're trying to stay sober, doing new things instead of same old pattern.

justhadenough

Hi NFW

Sorry,my post wasn't clear.It is only part time.When I refer to FT childcare I meant compared to nothing now. SOrry,I badly worded it.I could quit if it doesn't work out

Sapling

Hey justhadenough....I have to look at where sobriety falls on my priorty list....For me...I'm nothing without it. At six weeks sober I know I wasn't ready for taking on a new job....I was barely thinking straight. I don't know what your drinking history is...But for me...Recovery was my full time job for the first six months. I still work hard at it...But I love it.

spryte

Pros and cons lists are good.

Write some, let them sit, and write some more. Try and be honest about what you expect from the job.

Talk to people who know you and who you trust.

justhadenough

Thanks Sapling,tbh I prob drank less when I worked as I had to get up for work.

Thanks Spryte.I've talked to a couple of people but they advise to do what I think is best and I just don't know.

Decisions!!!

spryte

I hate making decisions too!! I feel much better after I have decided.

Maybe take a walk or sleep on it? sometimes that allows different feelings and thoughts to float up?

neferkamichael

Justhadenough, 6 weeks tomorrow? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. I found the new environments a lot easier to handle than old ones. If ya could use the extra cash, give it a try.

Dee74

I have every confidence you'll think this through JHE and come up with the right decision for you

congrats on 6 weeks!

D