Coqui

Well I am glad to say that I have stepped up my program. I have a sponsor, I have been going to 3-5 meetings a week. I am trying to do my reading and steps. The one thing that I just can't seem to do is share in the room. I never do well in a large groups. I have gotten the look or the nudge but I just can't do it.

Thanks for letting me get that out!

wow04

Keep doing what your doing and you will be sharing before you know it. Work the steps. I was the same way. My sponsor told me before I share pray that His words come out, not mine. It always works.

bbthumper

A huge thing that helped me was that my sponsor suggested I not share my opinions. He stressed the importance of only sharing experience. No one can argue with your experience. No rules say that you have to share, but if the topic is within your experience go for it! It only gets easier everytime you do it. If you go in with an attitude of being of service it is also helpful. My sharing is not about what it does for me, but for what it might do for someone else.

FlyerFan

The easiest meetings that I find sharing comfortable in are the big book or step meetings, because you can just say "I liked this part of the book because ______" and thats all. That may be a good way for you to start.

Also dont force yourself. I didnt talk for several months. lol

Lost3000

Just do it! I had a hard time too. It gets better with time, as you share more, and as you get to know others.

Coqui

BB,

Thank you for that... I am learning alot about my opinions. I will keep this with me!

Coqui

WoW

Thank you. I love the advice. This week I became alot more accepting of my spiritual self.

2granddaughters

You are just about to make a big breakthrough ... keep going, all will be well.

Soon you'll be speaking at the meetings You'll see.

Bob R

Coqui

Flyer,

Glad to know I am not alone and the BB,steps sounds like a plan for fri. PS I will hit my 90 on 24th. thanks again!

FlyerFan

That is awesome news. I just found it easier to talk about the reading in the beginning because it was something I knew that everyone would understand. Later on I got comfortable in my own skin and now I just talk about whatever happens to be on my mind.

Don't worry you'll get there.

gincognito

I'm trying to step mine up as well. There's no hurry to share if-you don't feel comfortable you can always pass. I have the opposite problem, put me in front of a crowd and I'll run my mouth happily.

lilyrosemary

i know how you feel. i would have near panic attacks when we would go around the circle and contribute. made me sick. i still have trouble. i have things to say, sometimes i have really good things to say but can't . i have very low self esteem and no self confidence. i can give others advice "whats the worst that can happen...do you think anything bad when others speak..don't you think the others are as accepting as you..." i still freeze. i can share in a group of three or four, but that's about it. so, i sure can't help, except to say, you are not alone : ) take care

IndaMiricale

Awesome stuff keep doing what your doing.

Like it was said , it can be hard at first . But stick to just you and your expierance and feelings and you cant go wrong. I used to get all shakey and palms would sweat when I was going to share( just like when I was drinking ).

But it really gets better each and everytime, and a couple things happen. First you'll feel so so much better. And you might help someone right then and there and that is priceless. Becuase they might be feeling or felt that way and are to scared to talk about it....

hypochondriac

I have the same problem Coqui so thanks for bringing it up I was relieved to hear a rather vocal member in my group say he never said a word for 2 years so I'm assuming it will get easier. I'm scared that people will think I'm arrogant for not saying anything but really I'm just terrified of speaking in front of people. They don't go round the circle at my group which makes it even harder. I hope you'll post here when you finally do share to give the rest of us some inspiration xxx

Sapling

What if you just shared one day something like this....A little ice breaker. "My name is____ and I'm an alcoholic. I'm not very good at public speaking....But I want to thank all of you for what I learn from your shares every meeting. Thank you."

Coqui

I will Hypo... and thanks for the response this forum helps quite a bit!!

DayTrader

I came to the conclusion (with the help of a great-grand-sponsor with 52 years under his belt) that the reason I had such a hard time sharing at the tables was probably because I was more concerned with impressing everyone and less concerned about being honest and open. Once again, selfish and self-centered thinking.....with a dose of fear......running my life for me.

It later hit me that the ppl I most admired in meetings were the ones who talked about how they weren't going to come tonight cuz the game was on, or the ppl who talked about some resentment they were carrying around with them, or the folks who talked about how screwed up things were.............. but then they'd share how they were trying to apply this step or that step........and were working on digging out of the hole they were in. That gave me the green-light to get honest myself.....to share about what's really happening, right now, in my life......and to talk openly about what I'm doing about it.

sugarbear1

What's your sponsor suggest?

gravity

I attend smaller meetings and that helps. Also, one of the "promises" in the Big Book is that fear of people will go away. If you work through the steps, it really does happen. You will feel comfortable in your own skin and at home with your peers. No problem sharing.

positivelady67

wow sounds like me, I attended meetings for 3 months and everytime I could not share, then one day the chair just related to my life and before I knew what was happening I could hear my voice speaking out loud. The thought of doing it was worse that actually doing it. The other thing I would say is take the pressure off yourself, I found that at every meeting I was waiting to share and working myself up into a state and then I told myself do you know what I will share when I am ready to share and once I stopped focusing on it I began to relax.

I wish you all the best and let me know how you get on