aeo1313

lol-- yep-- I did say that.

aeo1313

I am working out more and changed my entire diet and am doing 2 different 5k in the next month. Maybe I will just tell myself I'm not drinking bc I'm an athlete! That makes me smile and makes the chatter in my brain go away. I totally am on board with not drinking due to sports/fitness and my AV is ok with this as well. Go figure

Someguy23

I can relate to that. I'm in relativerly good shape, although I lost any claim to being an athlete around the age of 19.

I don't think I've mentioned it on this forum but I suffered from an eating disorder when I was very young, got all the way up to being obese at one point, and the drinking was bringing it back with a vengeance. On my list of reasons not to drink anymore, it's #1 or #2.

In fact, I suspect most people don't quit drinking because they don't want to drink anymore but because they realize it keeps them from achieving some of their goals in life. Maybe sports and fitness would be a good motivator for you...

IndaMiricale

Aeo, congrats on your time

Just go back and read some of your old post about the struggles of drinking and what it was doing.

Whatever you want to call it, it was a problem from what I followed.

Your so much better today then 93 days ago.

freshstart57

aeo1313, I think you have agreed that alcohol is something that you are better without. I get the idea that you feel it might weaken your resolve for the opiates too.

If you need to 'work your recovery' by going to meetings in order to maintain your sobriety, then you gotta do it. On the other hand, maybe you are like me and many others and you simply just do not drink anymore, and that is that.

This is, just like your sobriety, is ultimately up to you.

doggonecarl

BE what? A normal drinker?

People without a drinking problem don't agonize about being able or not able to drink. If told by their doctor to quit, they quit and move on with their lives.

Like the previous suggestion, read your old posts. At one time, you seemed willing to accept the "label" and the idea of not drinking.

Ninety days isn't a milestone that once you reach it, it means you don't have a problem. Ninety days is supposed to give you perspective on your problem. If you go 90 without a whole lot of struggle, perhaps no problem. If you struggle...well. Maybe there is something that struggle should be telling you. Seems to me you are still wrestling with the idea of drinking.

Wish you luck.

tomsteve

then if you dont like youself or life, the misery will be refunded at the liquor store.

Mark75

Me too.... what Robby said... all of it

tomsteve

be what?

2granddaughters

Where it says in AA's How It Works "We stood at the turning point" I have stood there numerous times over the years (decades) and I think you are there right now.

When I find myself standing at the turning point... I always try to turn towards AA, not away from it.
Recommitting myself to AA has helped me keep walking away from Hell.

All the best.

Bob R

hypochondriac

I'm not so sure about this Suki. I don't really know, because I'm like you, never abused anything but alcohol. But that's because I couldn't trust myself to ever do drugs. Even prescription drugs I have avoided like the plague.

I know quite a few people who abuse drugs and alcohol but say stuff like, 'If I could only give up..(insert naughty drug here)..everything would be okay'. To me that is a bit like saying 'If I could only give up drinking vodka everything will be okay' (now that one I do know something about). We all know how that one turns out.

I feel for your situation Aeo. But I would have to agree that if it wasn't a problem you wouldn't have to think about it. You wouldn't have to read recovery books or go to meetings if it wasn't a problem because you would just be able to stop drinking.

Regarding the 90 days...I don't think that really matters, I think it's just because the first 3 months are the toughest. Just think, if you stay sober, things will only get better x

MetalChick

Aeo,

Why would your therapist tell you you are an alkie when you only drink on the weekends and don't have an issue with just drinking one or two? Maybe they felt it was better to stay off all intoxicants because of the pain pill addiction? For me I quit all drugs and even weed at this point, because they may affect my sobriety from alcohol. Also there is the danger of replacing one addiction for another in my case. Not saying I will never smoke weed again in my life. I was never addicted at all, but for now(maybe a year or so) it just isn't a good idea. I need a clear head. I may never do it again. I don't worry about that because I can take it or leave it.

Maybe you are not an alcoholic. IDK and you don't seem to know For me living without alcohol this past 8 weeks has been the absolute hardest yet most rewarding thing I have ever done.

Congrats too on quiting the pain pills

freshstart57

This is overly simplistic, even if it is strictly true. The implication here is that only those without a drinking problem can ever quit drinking and move on. Or, no one with a drinking problem can ever 'quit and move on'. If this is what is being suggested, it is false. Wrong. Incorrect.

If a Doctor tells you to quit drinking, you are a problem drinker already. If alcohol is not causing any issues for you, your Dr. will not tell you to quit.

In any case, most people, problem drinkers, heavy drinkers, alcoholics and just regular folks, when told by their Dr. to stop drinking, do exactly that. More effective than any other means of quitting the booze. The case can be easily made that the Doctor's order is 5 times more effective than any other method. http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicatio...-2/131-142.pdf

There is a good reason that Dee tells newcomers to see a Doctor.

DarkDays

IMHO 90 days is still baby steps on the road to sobriety , give yourself a good year to let the emotions and thoughts sort themselves out.

PaperDolls

Why not do another 90? Rinse and Repeat.

Dee74

We've been through a lot of threads together aeo

I watched you grow and become happier and more at peace.
I have no doubt that's down to the work you've been doing

I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not - but I know alcohol's been part of your story, maybe not always at centre stage, but it's been there as a regular player.

That to me suggests you need to really challenge these thoughts in your head....fight for your future A

D

blueshades

Although others have already addressed this, I'm zeroing in on this quote, because I have begun asking myself, "What if I could go back to drinking with no negative consequences?" Would I do it? Why?

98% of the time I know that the answer is "no." Then there's the 2% of the time that my AV pops up like the cartoon devil on my shoulder and says "Why not go for it? You can control it most of the time."

But even if my AV was right about this - - he's not - - the question remains, why? After all of the troubles it's caused us (or at least been associated with) why do we think we need alcohol in our lives?

aeo1313

Thanks everyone for your posts. To be honest, my main motivation for not drinking right now is the new diet plan I am doing to lose the 20 pounds that alcohol, pot, and late night eating put on. I guess right now if it's health and weight loss keeping me sober good enough. I did put in a call to my sponsor.

These wishy washy feelings are awful. I hate them. I feel like I will never be able to accept I'm an alcoholic, yet I really don't want to start drinking again just to prove to myself I either am one, or I'm not one. I don't want a beer with dinner...I want to go out with my friends and get hammered. I don't want a vodka cranberry after a shift at work- I want the bartender to fill me up with a cup of vodka and splash of lime- half way through my shift. This past year I would go into the garage fridge for a swig of vodka. Once you do that can you ever go back to how you were 6 months before that?

A year ago right now my drinking wasn't that bad. 6 months ago I was buying airline bottles to have around.

aeo1313

I almost had my husband buy a bottle of malibu tonight, but I didn't want to throw off my calories for the day. Also, I thought malibu would be better than my usual vodka bc it has a less % of alcohol. Then I thought if I just stay away from vodka i will be fine...then I thought about the guy adding milk to his whiskey in the big book and realized how crazy my thoughts were.

blueshades

It seems like weight loss (and hopefully, your overall health) are motivators for you to stay sober. I would hold on to that. After just over a week I am noticing more muscle and less flab on my frame. I am enjoying yet another benefit to kicking the habit!