MightyMung

I totally agree, but a week is my limit. They may get back to me tomorrow for all I know. I will be returning home in a week one way or another (I can't leave now as the flights in the next few days are £940 and take 40 hours with two 12 hour stops; Abu Dhabi and Delhi.. ugh), but the flights in a weeks time are about £400-£450. I'd prefer to wait a week, see if I can fly home for free, and even if I can't, i've saved £500 by waiting and booking the cheaper flight home.

But yes, I agree, a lot can happen in a week. If things get too bad I won't hesitate to leave in a hurry. I'm currently 12,600 words into a travel guide though, so that is keeping me busy and my brain active. It's also reminding me of the skills I have and how foolish I would be to fritter them away with foolish, damaging behaviour. The two positives I have to focus on are my success with tapering, and the fact that alcohol no longer tempts me. I opt for a healthy smoothie every time now. They taste much better, and my body feels cleaner. A healthy body means a healthy mind. I am getting better, and although there may have been some bumps in the road, I think i'm on the path to success. Don't worry about me too much.

How are you doing by the way? I don't really know your status. Are you sober or are you trying to recover? I get the impression you're sober and have been for some time, but i'm interested to know in case I can help in any way

Thanks for your concern, it's great to be able to chat to people like you who truly understand and care.

justhadenough

Gosh no, I'm newcomer too.I'm sorry if I came across under false pretenses as being sober longer. I'm on day 38 after 6 weeks in Jan/Feb and then relapsed.I'm in the UK too though further North than you!I don't post much except in my class,tend to read others stories and comment occasionally.

MightyMung

You certainly sound sober to me. Glad to hear you're doing well. Don't view relapses as a negative thing, use them as a springboard to strengthen your resolve to succeed. In many ways we all need to fail before we can succeed. We seem to be at a similar stage; coming to terms with our addictions and attempting to overcome them promptly. Keep me updated on your progress, and as ever, if you ever want to just have a chinwag about anything, my ears are always open.

Is alcohol your vice? Have you been to AA? Just wondering, because I went to a few AA meetings and spoke openly, and it really helped me understand my addiction and it propelled me towards sobriety in leaps and bounds. The drugs seem to be my problem now, so I definitely need to get away from this country where you can buy anything you want in a pharmacy.

MightyMung

I'd also like to update people on my plan for when I return home:

- Firstly, i'm going to go shopping in London with my best friend who is understanding and helpful. I'm going to buy some nice new clothes to refresh my wardrobe, and i'm going to trawl the law firms looking for a summer work experience placement. My brother lives in London, along with another friend, so my schedule will be full, and hopefully I won't have time to be tempted by drugs. I intend to spend 2 weeks or so in London.

- Secondly, i'm going to ******* to visit a friend and stay with my sister for a while. I need to help the friend move into a new flat so that will involve a few days work, while my sister is having some difficulties at work so I intend to stay with her for a few days to give her some support. I'll also visit some law firms in ******* to try to secure work placements for next summer, to enhance my CV and hopefully make some progress towards a good, demanding career in the future.

- Last but definitely not least, my friend has been arrested and bailed on suspicion of committing some heinous crimes. I'm not sure yet if he's guilty, so I cannot judge until I review the evidence and the final verdict is delivered. But for now, he's just been kicked out of the house he was bailed to and so he has nowhere to go. I need to return to help him. I just called him at great expense (20 minutes on the phone from Vietnam cost me £30) and he said he intended to buy a bottle of whiskey and drink until he blacks out. I showed my concern and desperately pleaded with him to rethink this decision - I reminded him of an incident in Exeter where I drank 70cl of gin, a 2 litre bottle of cider and several pints of lager, blacked out, fell into the road knocking myself unconscious, and woke up in a strangers kitchen which it appears I broke into. He promised me he would stay safe and sober for me until I can get home and assess his situation, as he is a long time childhood friend and I want to be by his side during this difficult time. I fear the worst, so I want to give him some support since I seriously believe he will commit suicide if no-one is there for him. He is banned from seeing his family, and he can only see his partner and child with a care-worker present. I feel I need to be there for him to stop him from doing something stupid, but in order to do that I need to have a clear, sober head.

All of these things are time consuming and will help keep me busy. I think keeping busy is crucial when recovering from addiction - it focuses the mind on things other than the vice that it is normally so bent on indulging in. I'm looking forward to returning and dealing with these situations and getting my life back on track. I feel alive after writing a travel guide (12,600 words) and feel that my brain has "come back to life" and the "fog has lifted" without the alcohol. I just need to conquer the drugs and then keep busy and i'm sure i'll be able to maintain my sobriety.

My Mum has also agreed to have me back as long as I adhere to her house-rules, which basically entails sticking to her schedule. When I was drinking, I would go out until 2am and then come in bleary eyed and start cooking food, leaving a mess everywhere. This was obviously disruptive and disturbing for her to see. We can no longer live together full time, as we are incompatible for long periods of time, but we unconditionally love each other so we are going to work something out. I am very, very close to her, perhaps too close, because she is the only person in the world who has stuck with me through thick and thin. It has just been me and her since birth, no father around. Luckily i've knocked the booze on the head, and she believes in me and trusts me, so i'm allowed to stay at home as long as I wake up at a normal time, and go to sleep at a normal time, so that I don't disrupt her routine - she's very busy arranging to move house and possibly getting married to a nice, kind man.

Sorry for the life story, but I love to broadcast my thoughts online in an organised manner so I can read them over and measure my progress, and it also invites people to criticise/comment/offer advice.

I can't wait to get home and get started on these important tasks. I am a natural problem solver and so I think getting stuck into these tasks will help me stay drug free - I feed off stress rather than crumble under it, so I'm looking forward to undertaking these challenges at home.

Thanks for all the support guys.

justhadenough

Hi Jake

Yes it's just alcohol for me.I went to AA a few years ago but not for me. I'm using RR & AVRT plus making life changes. I'm reading Eckhart Tolle-The Power of Now which is very powerful.

Thanks for your kind words.I feel much stronger than last time and making life changes too,realizing its not just quitting,its making changes too.

Thanks again-stay strong and try and keep away from the pharmacies

MightyMung

I agree, one cannot just quit their drug of choice without also making changes in their life. I made many mistakes thinking I could just quit and remain in the same situation. That always led to a relapse, because i'd associated the situation I was in with the use of drink/drugs.

Keep going with the sobriety, wake up every day and give yourself a round of applause for remaining sober. Remember how bad the hangovers were? Remember how awful you felt after embarrassing yourself while on a bender? I focus on those thoughts now and they help me say no to the sauce. The drugs are perhaps more sinister because most of my drug use is premeditated and planned - I have to decide what to take and make an effort to find it. In many ways quitting alcohol is harder than any other drug, because it's everywhere and consumption of it is almost encouraged.

Stay strong, and keep me updated. I'll be on the forum a lot since it's help keeping my mind on track. Each of the kind people on this forum are worth 100 of my old drinking buddies, so i'll stay here and join this community instead of joining the community in the pub.

Congratulations on 38 days - you've been sober for over a month, focus on how much better your mind and body feels and i'm sure you'll be able to power forwards and remain sober. Drinking is for fools with no direction - choose your own direction and towards sobriety, and make changes where necessary to improve your chances of success. I believe in you and want you to succeed, and I can tell you want to succeed too.

Even from speaking to you online I can tell you are a kind, compassionate individual with the determination required to stay sober. Do it for yourself, and thank yourself every day for overcoming your addictive voice which is just a nasty, slippery devil which you can control.

Thank you also for your kind words, they mean a lot, especially since i'm alone in a foreign country and rather scared. I believe in you, which helps me to believe in myself. I'm getting all sentimental and mushy now so i'll leave it at that, but I really appreciate your concern and I hope you succeed on your path to recovery. The grass really is much greener on the other side.

sugarbear1

A quick reply for this evening...

Your plan sounds good, a lot of things to do.

Be prepared to be busy, really help your sister by cleaning or doing something during the day to honestly help her out.

When dealing with a friend who is using, it's always best to have someone with you who is sober. Two of us alkies together can create a bad scene way too quickly. We have "forgetters" that work faster than we know, especially in early recovery (the first year).

Early Recovery, or The First Year includes many changes; Everything keeps getting different. Brain fog can reappear, sleep disturbances can reappear, for me, I got extremely tired a few months in to that first year. Just be alert for many changes.

If you choose AA, especially to find sober people to hang out with, search all of the places you are going to be living near for their local meetings, call the number to make sure those meetings still exist and to find out if there are new meetings available. Ask about the quality of those meetings, if the people know (they may not know, then again they may know and it doesn't hurt to ask).

Read the big book or take a listen at silkworth.net. If you want some more reading, find Ernest Kurtz's Not-God, A History of Alcoholics Anonymous to find out how it evolved.

xa-speakers.org to listen to a meeting. Alcoholism, the people in it, the drugs we've indulged in (well, most of them) have been around a lot longer than we realize. We often think of 1935 as being so long ago that things were different. Not really. Just a little slower and no technology, more books, less TV, more radio.

Life wasn't much different, attitudes about life, well, much more similar than we realize. Robert Stonebreaker (Bob's a great man, I've met him. He wrote history books when he was younger, and as a sober man, he wrote A Pre-History of Alcoholics Anonymous which is free and online. This gives a picture of the changes occurring while AA was being formed.

Bob's home group is The Fourth Dimension Group and also has a site online, but last time I visited that site, it hadn't appeared as if anyone was really maintaining it. Bob's recording is on there. Take a listen. Real life gets busy in sobriety!

Changing our old habits can take some time. This is the only reason I believe that AA can help you, but the new solution would be in the steps, which really work if you are certain you have alcoholism and that no other alternative exists. Other programs are also available. If you are willing to go to any lengths, choose AA, if you are ambivalent, try another program. Your choice. Meetings help me to be there for the newcomer and to develop friendships with the fellowship peeps... Meetings don't keep me sober, my relationship with a power other and greater than me does and that power exists in me where ever I am. Meetings aren't always available.

Keep posting!!! I would have sent this privately, but my laptop is a real dinosaur! (kinda long for a quick response, you're lucky I didn't think this through too much, so it must be from that power that resides in me!!! ) LOL

Take it easy, be good to you, keep making yourself useful to others.

Hugs & love,
~sb

MightyMung

Luckily i'm sober from alcohol (partially thanks to AA, mainly due to AVRT), but I am tapering off two drugs i'm addicted to.

Yet ANOTHER problem has arisen for me to deal with at home! A friend has just had his girlfriend cheat on him. They were together for 5 years.

Although it's incredibly sad, it's another thing to help keep me busy when I get home. I hope my flights get sorted out today.

Great to hear from you sugarbear, I hope you're doing well. I really value your help

Have a great day everyone! x