hypochondriac

Hey Otomp, I'm just going to advise you to do what your friend said...stop before it gets worse! Please. And I understand fully what you mean because I was you. But I never denied I was an alcoholic. I knew, like you know, that my drinking was a problem and I needed to do something about it, but I didn't for another decade.

What age did you start drinking Otomp? I only ask because you said you started getting depression at 16. I started drinking aged 12 and although my habits didn't get really bad til maybe 16, at that age I think drinking really messes you up. It became a way for me to avoid the things emotionally I should have been dealing with and made any slight depressions a major problem. Alcohol became a (really bad) coping strategy for me and I thought I couldn't function without it. Actually the opposite is true.

Just in relation to your last post...For the last few years of my drinking I tried to address the 'problems' which I thought maybe lay behind my drinking and sorting out those life issues which I thought were more important. In the end the alcohol issue was screaming out for attention. I felt like I had a choice, to stop doing anything but drinking...or stop drinking. In a way, now, I feel like I 'got out' before any serious damage was done. But it really is surprising how seemingly quickly the negative consequences start piling up.

I know for myself that if I went back to drinking then it would quickly go back to where it was and I actually don't want to drink anymore. It stopped being something I wanted to do and became something I needed to do, and then something I really didn't want to do any more.

Oh, and the last few years I was practically screaming out for help, because I couldn't stop drinking even though I wanted to, until I finally realised that no one could do it for me and the desire to drink wasn't going to magically disappear.

Not sure what I'm trying to say really...just wanted to say hi and welcome This is a really good place. Keep posting and reading and I'm sure you'll find whatever help you think you need. Just keep an open mind and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it x

Sapling

I would definetely put my focus on that. My last two years of drinking were like that...No friends....Sh!t...They weren't friends anyway...They were people I used as an excuse to drink...Since I've quit...I haven't heard from any of them...I have new friends...That don't drink. Let me tell you something about that binge drinking alone stuff....That's about as dark of a place as you can get....If you're going to focus on anything...I'd start right there.

MrsKing

So, so true. I would drink from 8pm - 8am (or later, until I passed out) by myself, whenever I had a drink. It didn't matter why I had that first drink, where I had it - I would end up looking forward to being by myself, drinking at home, the way I liked it. Just thinking about it now makes me want to cry. Please get some help Otomp, you don't want to end up the way I did.

DoinThis

I waited 18 months from when I new and wanted to get it under control, I kept waiting for 'a moment' when it would happen and I'd stop but it never came and my drinking got worse as I kept thinking 'soon' so I'd drink more and more because I was quitting 'soon'. Nuh! That moment has to be a massive conscious decision of NOW, enough is enough! U say u want it more than anything, what would be good about drinking again tonight then? If your not an alcoholic just stop for this week then. If alcohol isn't your #1 problem and a new job would fix a lot u could spend this week sober and look for a day job? All the best to u Otomp. X