My drunken life. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-11-2012, 11:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Cool

My drunken life.


Here goes... I'm 26 years old. When I was in England I had a terrible experience with alcohol and got into serious debt problems. I met a girl from Norway, she was beautiful and caring and took me into her life from the very beginning. I found an amazing job as a carer and we built a life together. For a while everything was perfect and thought my life was coming together for once. Then I decided to start drinking, at first just sociably and then I became worse. I would arrive at work half drunk, I started becoming angry and aggressive towards the person I loved. Eventually I did lose my job and that was the beginning of the end for me, my drinking got worse as I became depressed. I started acting like a total jerk to most people, eventually people cut me off and also my girlfriend left me, I lost my job, my house, my car, my lover and my life. Eventually I moved out of Norway, I blamed a lot of our relationship problems on her (she was no saint either) but it was mostly my fault. She did love me a hell of a lot and my drinking changed me and I pushed her away. At the moment I am so lost, she has cut contact with me because I did send her a lot of abusive messages and emails. I became obsessive and the drinking just made it worse. Today I have decided enough is enough, if I carry on I will probably die at some point. I just wish that she could see the person I was and not what I have turned into but I think it's a bit too late for that. I am so sorry Marte.

Just needed to get this out somewhere.
Zeiger is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Zeiger For This Useful Post:
Adejay (06-13-2012), DoinThis (06-11-2012), Impurrfect (06-11-2012), instant (06-12-2012), least (06-11-2012), mwstylee (06-11-2012), sissy07 (06-11-2012), sugarbear1 (06-11-2012)
Old 06-11-2012, 11:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
Run to live... live to run
 
Live2Run25's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Blog Entries: 5
Hello there. Today is my first day here as well. You are on the right path.
Live2Run25 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Live2Run25 For This Useful Post:
DoinThis (06-11-2012), Zeiger (06-11-2012)
Old 06-11-2012, 12:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Hello and welcome to both of you xx
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.


Sober date - 10th June 2011
ttbp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 12:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
MrsKing's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,146
Hello. Today is my first day here, also. I can completely relate to your story - my drinking pushed away countless people, ruined my employment and generally made me a complete waste of space. The thing is - you are here. You have realised there is a problem and you are admitting that something needs to be done about it. With courage and determination you can achieve what you wish for.
MrsKing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 06:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,098
Welcome to SR!

Glad you are here!
__________________
Someday it will all make sense, so laugh at confusion, smile through tears,
& remind yourself it All happens for a reason.


All Big Book quotes are from the 1st edition.
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Sober since May 16, 2011
sugarbear1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 06:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
Community Greeter
 
Impurrfect's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,174
((Zeiger)) - Welcome to SR!! I, too, lost a lot due to my addiction, but am steadily trying to get it back in recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
__________________
"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain


(Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches [RIP] and Mots - Mouth Of The South)
Impurrfect is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 06:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Zebra1275's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 9,300
Welcome to SR!

This can be the day that you start to turn things around. You can't change the past, but at 26 you have a lot of future ahead of you. Now do you have a plan to get and stay sober? The combination of this website and AA has worked for me.
Zebra1275 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Zebra1275 For This Useful Post:
least (06-11-2012)
Old 06-11-2012, 06:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
cat1961's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Zeiger - I can relate to your situation and this is my first day back here since 2010. My drinking has become out of control recently, loosing contact with friends and family and my job being jeopardized. I've decided once again to quit drinking cuz I know it will get better over time. If you pull the plug from the alcohol and stick with it, you too will be a much better person. I'll bet your girlfriend will find the same.

Glad to meet you! :ghug3
__________________
Sobriety Date: November 23, 2016

"Nothing good comes from drinking......"
cat1961 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 06:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 79,044
Blog Entries: 32
Welcome to the family! :ghug3
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
least is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 07:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Red bank nj
Posts: 68
Well how refreshing it is to have someone say sorry even of it's too late to repair your relationship it's just nice to hear. I don't know if she is on this site o get your apology but I hope she knows that you do realize that she really loved you and you pushed her away. There are no mistakes inlife just lessons learned. O hope you take this experience and treat the next woman in your life better and of your not feeling like your healthy enough for a relationship and to be a good partner that you don't take one on, and have them fall in love with you just break their heart because your going to drink and blame them. I say this because I have been the one on the other end and it really destroys the person that loves you and sees how sick you are and are helpless to get you to stop. Good luck. Thank you for your honesty and sharing.
Endofline is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Endofline For This Useful Post:
sissy07 (06-11-2012)
Old 06-11-2012, 07:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Waxhaw
Posts: 9
Hi this is my first week here. My boyfriend died of a drug overdose and my drinking for the last two years to deal with that has led me here. Hope you don't go down that same road. You are taking the right steps. Just left my 2nd AA meeting and i loved it. Keep it going you can do it.
graceful is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to graceful For This Useful Post:
Rosieblue (06-12-2012)
Old 06-11-2012, 10:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
DoinThis's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
to SR
__________________
When it's good then it's good,it's so good till it goes bad, till you're tryin to find the you that you once had.... PINK
DoinThis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 12:54 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Thank you guys for the response, I have vowed never to go near a drink anymore. I realize exactly what I lost due to it and I never want to hurt anyone like I did to her again. I didn't see it at the time, I just thought I was having fun when she was desperately trying to reach out to me.

She stood by me and changed my life, She will probably never see these messages but my intention was try to apologise to myself and her. We had a great life together and because of me I have ruined it for the both of us.

Now she says she hates me for what I have done and is so dissapointed and hurt that she has lost trust with not just me but almost everyone.

I don't know if it's repairable, She does still contact me about various things such as "how the computer is set up" or car problems. I don't know exactly what this means if it means anything but something tells me she still wants contact if only minor contact.

It's not going to be easy but with the right help and advice such as this board I know I am a strong enough person to get on with my life sober. At the moment I'm just so anoyed with myself for messing things up.
Zeiger is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Zeiger For This Useful Post:
Rosieblue (06-12-2012)
Old 06-12-2012, 04:01 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Red bank nj
Posts: 68
Keep posting it helps when your feeling down not only you,but also all of us that are experiencing some dark moments as well. I hop it's true that we will find good out of all this bad, that there is happiness out there if we continue to work on our own recovery. I take it day by day.
Endofline is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Endofline For This Useful Post:
Rosieblue (06-12-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:39 PM.