Hello.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
I drank to celebrate, to relax, to alleviate boredom, to quell anxiety, to handle stress, to sleep....etc. Eventually, I didn't need a reason. I just drank. Because I was awake. That's alcoholism for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
@ericz Can relate 100%! Thank you for your support and Keep up the good work mate!
@Jitterbugg Oh the "sleep" excuse...That was my latest one. "Eh, gotta drink or else im going to be up till 5.00am..."...Next hungover morning and whole day was far worst then sleeping at 5.00am with no beer.
@riggedgame Im on my fifth too. Right now i logged cause my crave is starting and the excuse of "I am going to drink one beer and stop there, i can do it, it will be easy" is repeating in my head...It seems so logic and real. Im not gonna do it!!!!
@Sapling Read the article, made some sense, ecxept the part about allergy? Didnt get that one. Thoughts?
Another question. I read somewhere about Delirium tremens? Im afraid a friend of mine might suffer from it, me too, tbh, but im afraid he expiriences it to the fullest. Thing is, he refuses to say he has a drinking problem as he thinks you are considered an alcoholic once you need to drink the moment you wake up, he does not recognizes any other stage...
Any tips for stubborn people?
@Jitterbugg Oh the "sleep" excuse...That was my latest one. "Eh, gotta drink or else im going to be up till 5.00am..."...Next hungover morning and whole day was far worst then sleeping at 5.00am with no beer.
@riggedgame Im on my fifth too. Right now i logged cause my crave is starting and the excuse of "I am going to drink one beer and stop there, i can do it, it will be easy" is repeating in my head...It seems so logic and real. Im not gonna do it!!!!
@Sapling Read the article, made some sense, ecxept the part about allergy? Didnt get that one. Thoughts?
Another question. I read somewhere about Delirium tremens? Im afraid a friend of mine might suffer from it, me too, tbh, but im afraid he expiriences it to the fullest. Thing is, he refuses to say he has a drinking problem as he thinks you are considered an alcoholic once you need to drink the moment you wake up, he does not recognizes any other stage...
Any tips for stubborn people?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Argh.....just got into a fight over the phone and crave is high again.
Is it ok for me to make these kind of posts when i have a crave? I dont expect replies from these kind of posts, they just help me on my try to not drink. Like saying it out like or something. Just asking if theres a spamming rule or anything.
Thanks in advance!
Is it ok for me to make these kind of posts when i have a crave? I dont expect replies from these kind of posts, they just help me on my try to not drink. Like saying it out like or something. Just asking if theres a spamming rule or anything.
Thanks in advance!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Hi hypochondriac and than you for your reply!
Im glad i can post like this, cause it really does help.
I read about some of the support techniques you posted and found that seperating me from the alcoholism helps. Dealing with it like its not part of me. So this time when the craving comes, i reffer to it like a third person. Really does help. Havent gone into any more reading tbh, but definantly will.
I just cant wait to hit a 2 week point. Last time i quit i remember that thats when my mind started to clear up. Cause even without a drink for a couple of days, i always feel as if ive been drinking and theres something like a haze or blur in my mind.
So if i manage to get to 2 weeks, im sure it will be kinda easier. Just hope i dont "Treat" myself with a drink.
Thanks again!
Im glad i can post like this, cause it really does help.
I read about some of the support techniques you posted and found that seperating me from the alcoholism helps. Dealing with it like its not part of me. So this time when the craving comes, i reffer to it like a third person. Really does help. Havent gone into any more reading tbh, but definantly will.
I just cant wait to hit a 2 week point. Last time i quit i remember that thats when my mind started to clear up. Cause even without a drink for a couple of days, i always feel as if ive been drinking and theres something like a haze or blur in my mind.
So if i manage to get to 2 weeks, im sure it will be kinda easier. Just hope i dont "Treat" myself with a drink.
Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Don't just 'hope' it. You need to find the tools to make sure you don't drink at two weeks. If you know that is a danger make sure you're at a meeting when that hits. AVRT also has some interesting thoughts about the whole counting days thing which might be worth looking at...
For me my mind really is starting to clear, but that's a real danger in a way because I have become a bit complacent.
Hope you're doing okay x
For me my mind really is starting to clear, but that's a real danger in a way because I have become a bit complacent.
Hope you're doing okay x
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Was at the doctor's today. I think it kindof threw her when I started talking about how I wished the AV (who I referred to as her) would leave me alone. Had to explain how 'no, it's the bit of me that wants to drink' so she didn't think I was hearing 'voices'...
(sigh)
(sigh)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: mo
Posts: 183
@NoIdea this article really helped me understand the relationship among addiction, learning, reward and how alcohol and other drugs affect the brain. We definitely change our brains in addiction, from the brain chemicals, to our learning habits, memory and valuing natural reinforcers. It's a complex and unique process for each of us, but it's one of the most human struggles ever. Good luck, stay strong, and value your life with all your heart.
The addicted human brain: insights from imaging studies
The addicted human brain: insights from imaging studies
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
11th day, yay!!
Cravings arent coming as often and are really easier to fight off.
Im afraid (and im being honest here), that in my mind, im planning to have a drink to celebrate something in my life, once its done.....At least now im sure that i wont be ironically celebrating the 2 week point with a beer!
So right now, im working on setting my mind OFF the celebration its synched to.
Im gonna make it!!
Thanks so much!!!
Cravings arent coming as often and are really easier to fight off.
Im afraid (and im being honest here), that in my mind, im planning to have a drink to celebrate something in my life, once its done.....At least now im sure that i wont be ironically celebrating the 2 week point with a beer!
So right now, im working on setting my mind OFF the celebration its synched to.
Im gonna make it!!
Thanks so much!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Thanks Dee...
Although.. i logged in after all these days to say that i didnt make it. I drank and im still drinking, even now that im writing this. Im going through some rough situations, but still, theres no excuse.
Im actually writing this post for many reasons. First to be honest. Then, i will need to read this again, when i decide to quit, like a journal or something, i bet most of you understand.
I feel bad about myself for not making it. Im not sure when i will be ready to make the desision to quit again. darn.
Its ok. Im gonna be counting my days as clear soon.
Although.. i logged in after all these days to say that i didnt make it. I drank and im still drinking, even now that im writing this. Im going through some rough situations, but still, theres no excuse.
Im actually writing this post for many reasons. First to be honest. Then, i will need to read this again, when i decide to quit, like a journal or something, i bet most of you understand.
I feel bad about myself for not making it. Im not sure when i will be ready to make the desision to quit again. darn.
Its ok. Im gonna be counting my days as clear soon.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Don't wait to decide to quit NoIdea...
I did and didn't want to stop either.
Things got a *lot* worse for me ove rthe years it took me to decide which side should prevail.
Ultimately, I accepted that alcohol and I had a toxic relationship. I ended the relationship.
I've never looked back
I hope you get there sooner than I did NI
D
Originally Posted by your first post
the reason doesnt matter. Its just frustrating for me. I like drinking, i wish i could handle it, i cant imagine my life without being able to handle it, but i Cant handle it, so i have to quit.
So i guess i must start picturing my life without drinking.
Geez i wish i could just drink a couple of beers once in a while and no more. :/
So i guess i must start picturing my life without drinking.
Geez i wish i could just drink a couple of beers once in a while and no more. :/
Things got a *lot* worse for me ove rthe years it took me to decide which side should prevail.
Ultimately, I accepted that alcohol and I had a toxic relationship. I ended the relationship.
I've never looked back
I hope you get there sooner than I did NI
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Hi NoIdea. I understand just how you feel. I was determined I could use willpower to control myself. Just a few, just beer, just on weekends, holidays. Every time I picked up there was no 'off' button.
I was destroying myself, so I had no choice but to say not another drop - not ever. It took me many years to get to that point. I could have lost my life at any time along the way. I hope you'll be giving sobriety a try again very soon. You're not alone in this - we've all been through it, and want to help.
I was destroying myself, so I had no choice but to say not another drop - not ever. It took me many years to get to that point. I could have lost my life at any time along the way. I hope you'll be giving sobriety a try again very soon. You're not alone in this - we've all been through it, and want to help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
@Dee I hope that i will again realize that and the fact that im writing here, while actually drinking, shows to me that even that im continueing that toxic relationship, i know that its wrong....
@Hypochondriac What happened?...hm...besides the tons of excuses i can find, like a friend who was presuading me that its awful to not be able to drink for the rest of your life...The main reason was that im going through a break up. We all know that the numbness brings temporarily relief. I need that temporarily relief like nothing else. I know its wrong. I know that if i didnt drink, everything would be easier, but still, its a relief.
Its awful. I have literally logged on to write this, while drinking, to remind me and everyone else how irrational it is.
I still hold some kind of hope, at least on my drinking problem, cause for every other problem of mine, dunno. Its the phrase we heard tons of times
drink your problems away"?...well its tough when you know that one of your problems is drinking..
@Hypochondriac What happened?...hm...besides the tons of excuses i can find, like a friend who was presuading me that its awful to not be able to drink for the rest of your life...The main reason was that im going through a break up. We all know that the numbness brings temporarily relief. I need that temporarily relief like nothing else. I know its wrong. I know that if i didnt drink, everything would be easier, but still, its a relief.
Its awful. I have literally logged on to write this, while drinking, to remind me and everyone else how irrational it is.
I still hold some kind of hope, at least on my drinking problem, cause for every other problem of mine, dunno. Its the phrase we heard tons of times
drink your problems away"?...well its tough when you know that one of your problems is drinking..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
@Hevyn Thanks for your support.
I feel stupid. Its the crave. I was doing so well, then *click*, thats it. Buying beer even though ive stopped to have it in front of me for free.
Its the "righteous" society has given us, through "brainwashing" that if you are going through tough times, you must drink.
I too hope that i am going to give it another try. To be honest, im sure i will be giving it another try, i just dont know how soon it will be.
Being sober rocks! I had that feeling once, i want it again.
I feel stupid. Its the crave. I was doing so well, then *click*, thats it. Buying beer even though ive stopped to have it in front of me for free.
Its the "righteous" society has given us, through "brainwashing" that if you are going through tough times, you must drink.
I too hope that i am going to give it another try. To be honest, im sure i will be giving it another try, i just dont know how soon it will be.
Being sober rocks! I had that feeling once, i want it again.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
We believe in you - we know you can do it. I drank all my life, and in the end I never felt good, happy, relaxed - just miserable and numb. The old euphoria just wasn't to be found. I drank for awhile after joining, but I agree - I wanted that sober feeling - and I wanted it to stay forever.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 222
Originally Posted by NoIdea 
Im an alcoholic. Dont think im in too deep, but it doesnt matter, does it?..
Thing is, i dont know why i drink, but when i grab my first beer, there is no stop. I just cant stop. I managed to come clean for 8 months once, then 2-3 months then a week and so on.
Trying again, its just that the nature of my job has drinks everywhere :/ Its hard.
Thing is, i dont know why i drink, but when i grab my first beer, there is no stop. I just cant stop. I managed to come clean for 8 months once, then 2-3 months then a week and so on.
Trying again, its just that the nature of my job has drinks everywhere :/ Its hard.
Same reaction to the first beer, and I'm a touring musician.
The other night, I spent almost an hour reading SR while I was drunk, alone in my room with a beer in my hand, while my friends were sleeping. They had stopped at the right moment and I had not, but they thought I was going to bed too. I was sad but still drinking, and I realized that if alcohol only leads me to sadness and wanting to change and reading SR at 4 in the morning, then something should change...
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