Hello.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Hello.
Hello,
I have had another account here, but can not remember it at all :/ not that i was really active.
Anyways.
Im an alcoholic. Dont think im in too deep, but it doesnt matter, does it?..
Thing is, i dont know why i drink, but when i grab my first beer, there is no stop. I just cant stop. I managed to come clean for 8 months once, then 2-3 months then a week and so on.
Trying again, its just that the nature of my job has drinks everywhere :/ Its hard.
Has anyne ever had that before?Not knowing why he/she's drinking?
Nice to be here again, despite the reason, hope everyone's doing good!
I have had another account here, but can not remember it at all :/ not that i was really active.
Anyways.
Im an alcoholic. Dont think im in too deep, but it doesnt matter, does it?..
Thing is, i dont know why i drink, but when i grab my first beer, there is no stop. I just cant stop. I managed to come clean for 8 months once, then 2-3 months then a week and so on.
Trying again, its just that the nature of my job has drinks everywhere :/ Its hard.
Has anyne ever had that before?Not knowing why he/she's drinking?
Nice to be here again, despite the reason, hope everyone's doing good!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I'm not sure the reason matters that much NoIdea... I kind of knew why I drank but I don't think that actually helped me quit or stay that way. Awareness doesn't equal control. I learn a lot about addiction from just being here and it helps. But you don't need to be an expert to quit either. Glad you're back here and posting x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Thank you hypochondriac!
True, the reason doesnt matter. Its just frustrating for me. I like drinking, i wish i could handle it, i cant imagine my life without being able to handle it, but i Cant handle it, so i have to quit.
So i guess i must start picturing my life without drinking.
Geez i wish i could just drink a couple of beers once in a while and no more. :/
Well one good thing is that im leaving this job to start aother one where no alcohol will be involved, so im sure that will help. Its like i drink cause i can. Its right there.
HATE it!!
True, the reason doesnt matter. Its just frustrating for me. I like drinking, i wish i could handle it, i cant imagine my life without being able to handle it, but i Cant handle it, so i have to quit.
So i guess i must start picturing my life without drinking.
Geez i wish i could just drink a couple of beers once in a while and no more. :/
Well one good thing is that im leaving this job to start aother one where no alcohol will be involved, so im sure that will help. Its like i drink cause i can. Its right there.
HATE it!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Plan? Well, just try to resist it. I have a friend that i can call if i cant stop thinking about drinking, so i can call her at any time so she can help me not to drink. Other then that, no plan.
What kind of plans are there?
What kind of plans are there?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
AA....AVRT....SMART...Just different recovery methods or programs...Look into some here...Ask questions...Find one that fits you and learn about it. Give you some tools to make it easier to live without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 153
I think you answered your own question. You drink because you like it.
That's why we drink. One way or another we like what it does for us. Puts us in a good mood, loosens us up so we are not so tense around people, helps us deal with emotions, makes it easier to deal with a stressful day, cuz we had a bad day, cuz we had a good day, etc etc.
That's why I drank at least. I'm still ridiculously new with 33 days but I am starting to see that if I work the program (AA for me) to get sober, I can achieve all of those things without drinking. I certainly haven't yet... but I can see that drinking helped temporarily and the pain it caused lasted a heck of a lot longer than the "buzz". I want that feeling permanently... the only way I can get that is through completely changing my life and being at peace with who I am.
Good luck!
That's why we drink. One way or another we like what it does for us. Puts us in a good mood, loosens us up so we are not so tense around people, helps us deal with emotions, makes it easier to deal with a stressful day, cuz we had a bad day, cuz we had a good day, etc etc.
That's why I drank at least. I'm still ridiculously new with 33 days but I am starting to see that if I work the program (AA for me) to get sober, I can achieve all of those things without drinking. I certainly haven't yet... but I can see that drinking helped temporarily and the pain it caused lasted a heck of a lot longer than the "buzz". I want that feeling permanently... the only way I can get that is through completely changing my life and being at peace with who I am.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Gosh, don't picture it... That would be enough to terrify even a non-alcoholic drinker! 
Plans...Try AVRT, AA, SMART...there are some lists around here somewhere. For me support from other alcoholics is a must.
I drank because I could too. But I reckon that even if for some reason I couldn't I would have found a way...
Plans...Try AVRT, AA, SMART...there are some lists around here somewhere. For me support from other alcoholics is a must.
I drank because I could too. But I reckon that even if for some reason I couldn't I would have found a way...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Thanks !
Gonna look up those programs.
Yeah, rc4dt1, you're right, its because i like it. I just wish i could handle it :/WHY cant we? ://
Have there been people who turned from alcoholics to normal drinking people, or is it just black n white?
It is great without the drinking rc4dt1, i remember how i felt when i managed to reach 8 months. FABOULOUS!! Keep up the good work, it is worth it!!
Gonna look up those programs.
Yeah, rc4dt1, you're right, its because i like it. I just wish i could handle it :/WHY cant we? ://
Have there been people who turned from alcoholics to normal drinking people, or is it just black n white?
It is great without the drinking rc4dt1, i remember how i felt when i managed to reach 8 months. FABOULOUS!! Keep up the good work, it is worth it!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by NoIdea 
Thanks !
Gonna look up those programs.
Yeah, rc4dt1, you're right, its because i like it. I just wish i could handle it :/WHY cant we? ://
Have there been people who turned from alcoholics to normal drinking people, or is it just black n white?
It is great without the drinking rc4dt1, i remember how i felt when i managed to reach 8 months. FABOULOUS!! Keep up the good work, it is worth it!!
Gonna look up those programs.
Yeah, rc4dt1, you're right, its because i like it. I just wish i could handle it :/WHY cant we? ://
Have there been people who turned from alcoholics to normal drinking people, or is it just black n white?
It is great without the drinking rc4dt1, i remember how i felt when i managed to reach 8 months. FABOULOUS!! Keep up the good work, it is worth it!!
I can't handle it because as soon as I put a drink in my body it makes me think I am ok. I might be ok one night with one or two... but the next time.. or the third time, I am blasted and causing some issues in my life. My issues were never like being homeless... and that made me think I was ok, how sick is that? LOL. I was getting DUIs, losing valued relationships, missing work, spending all my money, never seeing anything except a bar stool and the tv with sports on it. I wasn't living!! F that!!!
When I feel the effect of just one it sets off the need to get drunk and it's inevitable.
To answer your question... I personally have never met anyone that has "been an alcoholic before" that can now consistently and forever drink like a normal person. Maybe there is one out there... I just don't know them.
Hope that helps!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Hi there 
I think that staying active on this website really helps. There is always lots of support when needed. I found SR when I was already 6 months sober, but I come here most days to keep myself grounded.
I think that staying active on this website really helps. There is always lots of support when needed. I found SR when I was already 6 months sober, but I come here most days to keep myself grounded.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I'm glad you posted.
You will find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
And, yes, it is black and white. Once we cross the invisible line into addiction, we can never go back. Abstinence is the solution and recovery is worth the hard work.
You will find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
And, yes, it is black and white. Once we cross the invisible line into addiction, we can never go back. Abstinence is the solution and recovery is worth the hard work.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Originally Posted by NoIdea
Have there been people who turned from alcoholics to normal drinking people, or is it just black n white?
And it gets a lot easier once you accept that. Welcome back to SR!
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
To understand more about the two unique problems (obsession and craving) that most of us here have try this short read. ----->Big Book Online - the doctor's opinion
The whole book is here (164 pages of main text) ----> Big Book On Line
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
The whole book is here (164 pages of main text) ----> Big Book On Line
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Hello again!
Thank you so much guys for the support and information!
Its really too bad its black n white :/
Good news is, im still sober! Not a drop of alcohol , although the craving was there and i had some people offering me a drink. I almost did it, but i resisted! I said "no" to all the excuses that came to my head!
hooray!!
Thank you so much guys for the support and information!
Its really too bad its black n white :/
Good news is, im still sober! Not a drop of alcohol , although the craving was there and i had some people offering me a drink. I almost did it, but i resisted! I said "no" to all the excuses that came to my head!
hooray!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: ca
Posts: 16
I bar-tended for nearly ten years before deciding that the "occupational hazards" were too great. I quit working 5 years ago, and went back to school. I graduate in December, but the booze is still there. I am on my second day, of what I hope will be a good run of sobriety. I couldn't run from it. Part of the job or not...it follows us like murderous ninja lying in wait for us to let our guard down. I have quit at least 25 times in the last 5 years. I have been aware of my disease for 20 years since my first forced inpatient. For the first time I have decided to find support, and I truly believe that it will help me tame my demons one day at a time. The best advice I could tell you is that the sooner that you recognize the severity of the situation....the sooner you will be successful. I know. I know. Im only day 2....but I have been here all along in spirit. Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 42
For a very long time, I was obsessed with "The Why."
WHY do I drink like this? WHY is my experience with alcohol so different from most people I know? WHY can't I control my consumption, at all, after one stupid drink?
It has been so freeing to finally walk away from "The Why." It's like refusing to live your life until you figure out the meaning of life.
I realized, finally, that I could spend endless oceans of time and effort trying to understand (and thereby, presumably, be able to defeat/fix) the mechanism behind my alcoholism. Or I could shrug, say "it is what it is," admit I would never understand it and never defeat it, never be able to drink.
As I said here in my first post a few days ago, it is my personal rigged game. The house always wins. So instead of stubbornly playing a game I know, deep down, I can't win, I'm choosing to walk away from the tables. And remembering that 99.99999999% of the rest of life it out there waiting for me to live it.
I've wasted ~20 years trying to outlast, outthink and out-game that game, my alcoholism, a process that has only kept me squarely focused on alcohol. Enough already.
This is Day 5 for me. Don't take anything I say as gospel. But this is among the fundamental changes I've needed to make in my view of my addiction and my world in order to feel like this is happening for real, that I'm not just biding my time until my next binge.
The last time I felt like this I was sober for over a year, and nobody is convincing me I'm not an alcoholic again. Not from without, not from within. This particular devil will never convince me he doesn't exist again.
Good luck!
WHY do I drink like this? WHY is my experience with alcohol so different from most people I know? WHY can't I control my consumption, at all, after one stupid drink?
It has been so freeing to finally walk away from "The Why." It's like refusing to live your life until you figure out the meaning of life.
I realized, finally, that I could spend endless oceans of time and effort trying to understand (and thereby, presumably, be able to defeat/fix) the mechanism behind my alcoholism. Or I could shrug, say "it is what it is," admit I would never understand it and never defeat it, never be able to drink.
As I said here in my first post a few days ago, it is my personal rigged game. The house always wins. So instead of stubbornly playing a game I know, deep down, I can't win, I'm choosing to walk away from the tables. And remembering that 99.99999999% of the rest of life it out there waiting for me to live it.
I've wasted ~20 years trying to outlast, outthink and out-game that game, my alcoholism, a process that has only kept me squarely focused on alcohol. Enough already.
This is Day 5 for me. Don't take anything I say as gospel. But this is among the fundamental changes I've needed to make in my view of my addiction and my world in order to feel like this is happening for real, that I'm not just biding my time until my next binge.
The last time I felt like this I was sober for over a year, and nobody is convincing me I'm not an alcoholic again. Not from without, not from within. This particular devil will never convince me he doesn't exist again.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by riggedgame
For a very long time, I was obsessed with "The Why."
WHY do I drink like this? WHY is my experience with alcohol so different from most people I know? WHY can't I control my consumption, at all, after one stupid drink?
WHY do I drink like this? WHY is my experience with alcohol so different from most people I know? WHY can't I control my consumption, at all, after one stupid drink?
The Doctor's Opinion
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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