LoveMeSomeBeer

It's different now. 7 years ago, I would "pattern drink" (about a six pack/night) during the week, and then do the all-day thing during the weekends. I was GROSS drunk during those weekend days, but would sleep-it-off before my wife came home. It was those years when I watched a little porn (it's amazing how the devil works in a drunk's mind) and would just lay around, drinking, watching movies all day. I would also mix-in chores and other things to cover up for being lazy. I was a busy, lazy person...if that makes sense.

Now, it's the everyday, nightly, 9 beers. I usually start around 4:30 and end about 9:30pm. Some days it may be 7 and others may be 11, but usually pretty consistent with 8/9.

Sapling

That's why I was curious if you peaked 7 years ago...Because I know how progressive this disease is....Sounds more like you are at your peak right now...And I can promise you through my own experience...It will continue to get worse.

MarylandRick

This is so true. I recently heard this quote and I loved it so much I wanted to share:

"If I could drink like a normal person I would drink all the time".

Simple and easy but sums up our problem......or at least this alcoholics problem.

LoveMeSomeBeer

Good point

Jabbadabutt

Welcome to SR. I can not predict your future but I would probably bet that you can not moderate and it will get worse before it gets better. I lied to myself for years that I did not have a problem until i finally came here and did what you just did, say it "out loud". it was like a huge weight was off my shoulders and I could begin to focus on what I had to do. You need a plan. You need to stick with that plan. That plan needs to involve NO alcohol, but not stop there. You need to try to understand why you do what you do, why are you hiding the drinking, etc. Understand the problem by understanding your problems. What if you came clean to your wife? Would you consider that?

hypochondriac

This was my dream! And my full intention. I moderated in my mind all the time! I never lasted more than a day in reality though and it was still like 3 beers so I'm not sure that even counts. And I had these thoughts that if I just did x, y and z I would somehow miraculously evolve into a moderate drinker... After 3 years of all that the nice people here kindly suggested I stop completely. It took a lot to make me drunk too and no one was aware of my problem. I know that if I were to drink now that I wouldn't see the point of just a couple either.

It sounds like you're really ready to quit LMSB, welcome to SR

Btw, love this!:

"If I could drink like a normal person I would drink all the time".

LoveMeSomeBeer

I'm really loving this board and so glad I found it. Last night, I went from the normal 4 beer drive home, to a 2 beer drive home. Instead of putting away another 5 after getting home, I just nursed on 2. One thing weird, I didn't feel any different this morning.

I know this "moderation" thing is probably just wishful thinking, but I've never tried it before. I guess I'm SO terrified of just giving it up and admitting to the community that I'm an alcoholic. I come from a pretty popular family and my folks would be so sad (they both had severe alcoholic fathers). They wouldn't be embarrassed about me, they would just be so sad that I did what their fathers did. Of course, I'm no where near how they where, but the road could be in that direction.

Thanks for listening,

LMSB

Sapling

I did what my father did...So did some of my brothers...And my father did what some of his brothers did...I'm not real sure I had a whole lot of choice in the matter...I took like a duck to water with alcohol....Good luck with your moderation...Keep us updated on how it's working out.