butterflies5

I'm wondering how I should count my days sober? On Mother's day I had a few sips of wine. The first one was very accidental and with that I was amazed how strong my urge was to have more. It was like my mouth was just watering for it.....crazy! My brother poured me a glass, and it was almost on instict that I drank that first sip. I did have a few other sips but because I was the one doing the cooking with all my family around I was super busy. My glass either got spilled or picked up by someone else and there was only one small bottle that my brother brought( I'm sure they assumed I would have plenty?)in total I probably had 5-6 sips that day does this mean I have to start all over or do I stay at 28 days?

vinyl

It's about your own code I suppose. I don't think there's any set rules. Here's the thing. Do you feel like you can honestly say you haven't drank for ___ days? Then those are the days you can feel good about. For me, if I took a sip, I couldn't honestly say I din't drink, because I did and for me that's a problem. If it's not a problem for you and you can live with having "sips" here and there and calling it a sober day, then so be it.

Just gotta be honest with yourself. I mean you can say whatever you want to us and make how every many days you want it to be. We're not the one's dealing with your drinking. Hope that makes sense. We've all had the same question at one point or another but I think we all realize sober means sober and who wants to have a sober date they know in their heart isn't 100% true?

DisplacedGRITS

It's a personal thing. For me, there woukd have to be a lapse in behavior as well or just a lapse in behavior even if alcohol wasn't consumed. If i found myself going crazy for a drink, intensely making plans for buying alcohol, actually buying alcohol (regardless of whether i drank it or not) i would probably have to consider that a relapse. Think about where you feel you are in your sobriety now. Do you feel like you're at 28 days or day 1. Also remember, it's just a nu,ber. We get excited over that number but in the end the important thing is that we have today. Be careful about that drink in the future. If you know alcohol is going to be at a function you need to go into it with extra vigilance. Accidents do happen but don't let it happen with regularity.

IndaMiricale

As stated its up to you. For me personally if I consumed anything on purpose then it would be back to day one for me. I had many relapses before this journey of 5 1/2 months. It so quickly could be gone. But as someone said it is just numbers. Just keep going in the right direction and do the next right thing.

SomethingBetter

A mistakes a mistake but if I made a decission to actualy drink even a sip of alcohol I would question my thinking.

What if there were endless bottles there, would it have ended with a few sips? Did you obsess about drinking after that bottle was gone 'wishing someone would get the idea to go get more'?

Lot of good advice given by others...

Dee74

There's an honesty question I think. If you honestly think that's allowable then ok...but the day I gave up alcohol is a special day for me. It means something.

The trouble I had for years was moving the goalposts...I'd excuse and rationalise my behaviour constantly....

a few sips one day meant the next time temptation happened - and it did - I took more sips...then a gulp...then a whole glass...soon I was back at square one.

If I'm being honest with myself, any amount of alcohol I deliberately drink puts me in danger of going back 'there' and it breaks my commitment to stay sober....regardless of whether anything 'bad' happens or not.

D

instant

It's about sobriety and forvmr the repudiation of alcohol in my life. What that constitutes for you is up to you.

My sobriety date means more to me than my birthday.

Bruno1979

Hi Butterflies,

It really does depend how big the sips were,

I could drink 5 or 6 glasses of wine in 5 or 6 big sips if I really wanted too.

All in all though I wouldn't beat yourself up over it.

Bruno.

aeo1313

"moving the goal post" PERFECT way to put it!

flutter

Personally, I would count any purposeful sip/drink/swallow of alcohol as a starting over point, and I'd have to look really closely at what caused it to move forward.

WingsFan13

For me 1 sip is a relapse. Making the choice to have 5-6 sips is definitely a relapse (to me). That's where it went from a mistake to a conscious decision to continue drinking more. I personally cant count that as a sober day

EXM6

I've decided for myself that this time, any consumption of alcohol would be considered a relapse to me. I have quit drinking before... Ya know, 3 months here, 6 months there. I would be really proud of myself and talk about it -- but I knew there were still a few occasions that I had downed a bottle of wine and no one knew but me. I've decided for myself I need to do it "for real" this time.

Like everyone else said though-- it's how YOU feel about it. You may never drink again and it really didn't end up hurting your sobriety at all... because I didn't -- I look back and feel like I was fooling myself, making myself to believe everything was ok when it wasn't. I just luckily happened to be dodging those "bad" nights.

BillyPilgrim

Butterflies

You are the only one counting for yourself

We are all counting for ourselves

You are the one you have to convince

tomsteve

i count my days sober one day at a time. my date of my last drink is 4/21/05. i was still drunk on the 22nd, so the 23rd was my 1st full day without a drink. i dont anymore say it is my sobriety date, not that i have drank since then.it is the date i started on the road to recovery. i just believe being sober is more than putting down the alcohol and i have had a few dry drunks. but, being the alcoholic i am, i wouldnt admit they were dry drunks when i was goin through them.
one of the sayings i have heard and took me quite some time to understand is," to thine own self be true."

butterflies5

Thank you all for sharing your wisdom!

Seared

My counselor defines a "slip" and a "relapse" as two separate terms.

• Slip - a little case of the "**** it"s, you drink or use once or twice or even go on a bender, without much regard for the consequences.
  
• Relapse - a total breakdown, almost willful. You're sick and tired of the stupid sober lifestyle, it's boring and lame, and you're going back to using and drinking again.

To me, you seem to have had a slip and not a relapse. If had anything to drink it's at least one of the two, but you can decide when to count from

Isaiah

I know many alcoholics might disagree with me on this, but I don't think all relapses are equal. I think the circumstances should be taken into account; even if it is a "relapse" it can mean different things depending on what actually happened.

I would see it as a relapse (as others have said, I think you should find your own term/meaning for it.) But I would see it as a slip due to lack of vigilance. A level 1 relapse?

My last drink was a relapse (obviously.) I drank an entire bottle of vodka because in an emotionally unstable state and wanted to ruin everything around me. I meant to waste my sobriety and intentionally over-do it. A level 5 relapse?

I think it makes a difference because I think it should guide how you choose differently the next time.

keepfinding2

I wouldn't call that a relapse. A relapse is where you go out on a bender and don't remember. Funny, that rhymes.