foodie1

Praying for you Pigtails, sorry for your loss.

Pigtails

Hi everyone. Just wanted to post with an update. My grandmother was moved back to the nursing home from the hospital today, which means she's no longer super critical/ICU status... but also doesn't mean she's "well." She's stable enough to be returned to the nursing home, which can take care of her as well as the hospital in this state. She is still in a lot of pain and discomfort, but it's past the critical level of her possibly dying any moment. According to my family members, she's doing better in terms of being alert and is her old fiesty self with all her spunk. That being said, the doctor said she likely won't "recover" or "get better" -- she will be resigned to this state of laying in bed plugged into tubes, until she has another infection or weakness that sends her to the hospital again, which he estimates could happen within a week! My dad asked her what she wants to do, he explained to her that her body is giving out and not fighting back and that her chances of ever getting better beyond this point are much much lower than her getting worse and enduring more pain and suffering... her answer was "have faith" and "I want to wait and see" and "I want to keep fighting this if I can."

So I've decided to go see her while she is more or less okay mentally. (The doctor said it's rare for the body to endure so much and the mind to stay pretty much sharp! She has odd moments and sleeps a lot but she is still aware of who people are and what's going on around her and many times can carry on a simple conversation). So I decided it's a blessing that she is still doing this well and is still healthy enough for me to go spend a little more time with her. I am going to go home in a few days, for a week, and spend part of every day with her while I still can. If she gets worse and dies, I will try to extend the trip and stay for her funeral. If not, I will have had my last visit (barring a miracle recovery) and I will just go back for her funeral if at all possible.

I feel relieved at having made a decision and I think it's the best thing for her, my family, and myself. I am just leaving things be at work and letting other people handle it because this is more important. I can do important work for my own clients from there but mostly the guy I was working for will have to fend for himself, and I don't really feel bad about that because he's been less than loyal to me. My boyfriend will have to handle the DWI trial on his own and I will wish him the best outcome for him from afar. I really feel overwhelmed with all that's going on and think a break from everything and time with my family/grandma is for the best. When I get back I will be re-vamping my business and getting my own office etc. instead of staying in this arrangement with this other guy. So it's a good transition period and the timing, while not great cost-wise, is actually good so I'm looking at it as a blessing.

Thanks everyone for the help. And thanks to the poster who suggested a rental car-- I do think that will help me maintain my independence-- I can get to the gym and grocery store and to the different houses of my family members, and maybe try meetings out there-- and not be one more thing for my dad to have to worry about. (My family lives an hour and a half away from the closest airport!!)