Told husband everything ths morning
sobriety date 5-2-12
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
Told husband everything ths morning
He wondered why I was awake and dressed so early on a saturday and I told him I was going to a AA meeting. I just plainly said "I need help". Keep in mind he's the one who has always thought I was fine. Anyway- told him I was getting stoned all day, just finished my vicodins a few days ago ect. Told him I was drinking and taking pills and then smoking pot on top of that. I told him I didn't want to die before the Bat Mitzvah. Kind of a joke, kinda not- who knows what those chemicals will do- even in small doses- in my body. I also told him I had been looking for contacts at work to buy from. I wait tables at night. I am heading down a very bad path and want to stop. I want to be healthy. My face is so broken out and I'm getting fatter by the day. I need these ladies in my meetings. I think it's the only way out.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Good for you, aeo. There's freedom in being honest, and this will also make you more accountable. Keeping our addiction a secret often gives us permission to continue because other people think we're okay when we know we're not. Getting things aired out and having those closest to you know that you have a problem brings the monster out of the closet where it can be better dealt with.
I'm glad you're enjoying AA. Those ladies will be a big help to you if you let them. We're here if you need us too. I hope you find yourself much happier, healthier and sober for your daughter's Bat Mitzvah.
I'm glad you're enjoying AA. Those ladies will be a big help to you if you let them. We're here if you need us too. I hope you find yourself much happier, healthier and sober for your daughter's Bat Mitzvah.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Congratulations....but you didn't tell us his reaction? I was interested because my wife has told me for years that I was OK because I hid my bad times from her exceptionally well. Even when I have quit in the past, she has always said "Oh, you can have a glass of wine on day." It is not her fault, it is my fault that I became so good at deceiving. I think I did an exceptionally good job with it because I didn't think of my deceptions as intentional at all, so they were probably more believable (I know they were). I even had myself fooled. Your post the other day about going to the bar after an AA meeting and telling your husband and friends and that sinking feeling you had the next morning really resonated with me. I wish you the best and you will be giving your daughter and yourself the best bat mitzvah gift ever by allowing yourself the gift of sobriety and the path to recovery. Yay for you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Originally Posted by langkah 
I hear a great amount of responsibility and personal accountability in what you wrote. How cool.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
aeo, you just warmed my heart! So honest. I do urge you to consider taking a lovely walk every day. Get up an hour early and stroll for a while, or when you get home from work. It will help you clear up your inner beauty and you will shine at that Bat Mitzvah!
Prayers, love & hugs.
Shalom,
Prayers, love & hugs.
Shalom,
sobriety date 5-2-12
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
Originally Posted by Leemzer
Congratulations....but you didn't tell us his reaction? I was interested because my wife has told me for years that I was OK because I hid my bad times from her exceptionally well. Even when I have quit in the past, she has always said "Oh, you can have a glass of wine on day." It is not her fault, it is my fault that I became so good at deceiving. I think I did an exceptionally good job with it because I didn't think of my deceptions as intentional at all, so they were probably more believable (I know they were). I even had myself fooled. Your post the other day about going to the bar after an AA meeting and telling your husband and friends and that sinking feeling you had the next morning really resonated with me. I wish you the best and you will be giving your daughter and yourself the best bat mitzvah gift ever by allowing yourself the gift of sobriety and the path to recovery. Yay for you!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
WELL DONE Aeo!
Getting honest with family is scary......awesome that you had the courage to do it so soon! It's a heck of a relief to not have to hide anymore isn't it? Nice to not have to sneak to meetings to get well isn't it?
In my addiction I lied about everything. All that lying was killing me. One thing I've really worked hard on in recovery is to be honest.....even when I'm reeeeeeally afraid to and SURE it's gonna blow up on me. Yanno......it hasn't blown up in my face ONCE! Not one time.
I told my family, my boss (in my industry DUI's are a reportable offense and though I was suuuure I should keep it quiet and just break the rule......I got honest about it), my friends and my co-workers. It's been NOTHING but beneficial.
Enjoy your meeting. Sat AM/noon meetings are usually darn good.
Getting honest with family is scary......awesome that you had the courage to do it so soon! It's a heck of a relief to not have to hide anymore isn't it? Nice to not have to sneak to meetings to get well isn't it?
In my addiction I lied about everything. All that lying was killing me. One thing I've really worked hard on in recovery is to be honest.....even when I'm reeeeeeally afraid to and SURE it's gonna blow up on me. Yanno......it hasn't blown up in my face ONCE! Not one time.
I told my family, my boss (in my industry DUI's are a reportable offense and though I was suuuure I should keep it quiet and just break the rule......I got honest about it), my friends and my co-workers. It's been NOTHING but beneficial.
Enjoy your meeting. Sat AM/noon meetings are usually darn good.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Originally Posted by aeo1313
He didn't say a whole lot, but I also didn't let him bc he tends to minimize my problem and shrug it off. I knew if I spent too much time giving him time to talk I would in the end talk myself out of quitting. This time I don't care if he thinks I have a problem. I know I do. I think in the long run when he sees me happier maybe he will realize something was wrong all along. If not, I love him, he loves me, and whatever.
sobriety date 5-2-12
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
This meeting was different for me. I stayed and talked with some ladies after. The topic was god/prayer/higher power. I am confused by praying. I don't do it and instead of being confused I asked questions. And got answers. Was refered to an AA daily meditation book. I can get into meditation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
The meeting I went to this morning the topic was....Prayer.....Made for a good meeting. Prayer is something you can start very simple....And practice it....I like meditation too...I'm practicing that as well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
I am glad you asked questions instead of buttoning up. For me prayer is hardly ever done by anything other then writing in my personal journal,. I love doing it this way it puts me in touch with that part of god that is at the center of my heart. For me god is connected to my inner most part. I love it. Best of luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
My sponsor helped me learn how to pray.
My sponsor reminded me that God would do for me what I could not do for myself.. and I probably should be looking after my own affairs as best I could.
If I did my part well, God would do his part.
All the best.
Bob R
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Wow - so proud of you aeo! It's not easy to lay it all out there, but what's so great is when we finally decide that's it, we're not going to take it anymore, we deserve better!
I also think it's cool that you're exploring the idea of meditation/prayer. I wouldn't worry too much about being confused.... just being open and allowing ourselves to question things is a great way to start. For me, meditation is just learning to let go of all the stuff that normally defines me and consumes my day and being present in the moment...... just letting myself "be" instead of "think" and "do." You'll know you have it when you start finding a little space in between your thoughts because that's when it's very peaceful.
Give yourself lots of TLC and the permission to be all about you right now - you can do it!:ghug3
I also think it's cool that you're exploring the idea of meditation/prayer. I wouldn't worry too much about being confused.... just being open and allowing ourselves to question things is a great way to start. For me, meditation is just learning to let go of all the stuff that normally defines me and consumes my day and being present in the moment...... just letting myself "be" instead of "think" and "do." You'll know you have it when you start finding a little space in between your thoughts because that's when it's very peaceful.
Give yourself lots of TLC and the permission to be all about you right now - you can do it!:ghug3
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
