New to sobriety :/
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by NOFX 
I'll be down to 2 cans tomorrow night,not looking forward to it,but hey? what can I do :/ I'll have to keep on carrying on 
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,958
I'm hoping your home detox continues to go well. I was wondering if you have end of home detox date and if you would like to share it.
I like your attitude.
Originally Posted by NOFX
Hi.I had about 1/2 an hours sleep last night :/ . But it's basically practice for when the baby comes in august .
I like your attitude.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
Hi. I don't want the fits/strokes of stopping too quickly. It'll be 2 cans for 2/3 days,then 1 for 2/3 days. Then a life of freedom & a bit more money 
. I know that I have to do it, I don't want the baby to have an alchoholic dad. I'm not violent when drunk,unless necessary . But an ex had an alchy dad, she ended up on H for years ,he was violent &'d rape her mum when he was drunk. I stuck him in the chest with a set of darts & pushed him down the stairs once,he went through a glass door,we just left him there, he thought he'd fallen cause he was drunk . But back to me. The night terrors came back last night,haven't had 1 for at least a year. I sat on teh bed for 1/2 an hour trying not to sleep :/. They're a pain in the arse,It feels like I've got a cow sat on my chest,pushing me into the bed,can't breathe or move :/ PETRIFYING ! . They're caused when the chemical that stops you acting out your dreams kicks in when you're awake. Don't know what to do about that 1 
. I know that I have to do it, I don't want the baby to have an alchoholic dad. I'm not violent when drunk,unless necessary . But an ex had an alchy dad, she ended up on H for years ,he was violent &'d rape her mum when he was drunk. I stuck him in the chest with a set of darts & pushed him down the stairs once,he went through a glass door,we just left him there, he thought he'd fallen cause he was drunk . But back to me. The night terrors came back last night,haven't had 1 for at least a year. I sat on teh bed for 1/2 an hour trying not to sleep :/. They're a pain in the arse,It feels like I've got a cow sat on my chest,pushing me into the bed,can't breathe or move :/ PETRIFYING ! . They're caused when the chemical that stops you acting out your dreams kicks in when you're awake. Don't know what to do about that 1 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
Hi. I had a minor slip up last night. We've had a guy looking in our window, & into the garden. I collared him last night,nearly lost my temper when he started gobbing off. BUt no violence . I ended up having 4 cans of 9% . I couldn't calm down,I was shaking with rage. I know it's an escuse, but I'm back on track tonight
. I ended up having 4 cans of 9% . I couldn't calm down,I was shaking with rage. I know it's an escuse, but I'm back on track tonight Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
The girlfriend's gone mad cause I was protecting her. .................? I'm so down, just thinking bollocks to it all. I can't do anything right. I can't see the point in doing anything,quitting included. I'm so ****** off. It's pointless.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by NOFX
The girlfriend's gone mad cause I was protecting her. .................? I'm so down, just thinking bollocks to it all. I can't do anything right. I can't see the point in doing anything,quitting included. I'm so ****** off. It's pointless.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South of England, UK
Posts: 65
I have been there a thousand times. It might seem like a good idea, but when you come down it will be worse than all of the times before, guaranteed. Find something to distract your mind for a while, such as looking on Youtube for a standup comedian you havent seen before - I did this, and found myself crying tears of laughter instead of drunken tears of sorrow.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Truckee, CA
Posts: 30
Hi NOFX,
Just a Yankee here with no job and no health insurance, but doesn't the UK have wonderful options (so I'm told) for detox and maybe some rehab help? I'd do it , if $ were not option here in the good 'ol USA where 20% aren't insured (actually I'm sure it is higher in my neck of the woods).
I too am at home detoxing-Day 3 of cutting down from 5-6% beers since last Wed. to 32 oz. last night. Last night I slept great with 2 tryptophans. The night before I slept 1 lousy hour with 4 beers (12 oz. -6% here), 3 tryptophans, and 1 melatonin, and still experienced night sweats, terrors and heart palps. Tonight I'm going not driving at all by staying home--I'm a bit far from the nearest booze. No booze tonight sleep or no sleep.
Detox is a mystery to me-and doing it yourself is better than staying the same old route, but if you can find help, do it. I would.
Rooting for you
Rooting for me
Rooting for all of us
Blessings
Just a Yankee here with no job and no health insurance, but doesn't the UK have wonderful options (so I'm told) for detox and maybe some rehab help? I'd do it , if $ were not option here in the good 'ol USA where 20% aren't insured (actually I'm sure it is higher in my neck of the woods).
I too am at home detoxing-Day 3 of cutting down from 5-6% beers since last Wed. to 32 oz. last night. Last night I slept great with 2 tryptophans. The night before I slept 1 lousy hour with 4 beers (12 oz. -6% here), 3 tryptophans, and 1 melatonin, and still experienced night sweats, terrors and heart palps. Tonight I'm going not driving at all by staying home--I'm a bit far from the nearest booze. No booze tonight sleep or no sleep.
Detox is a mystery to me-and doing it yourself is better than staying the same old route, but if you can find help, do it. I would.
Rooting for you
Rooting for me
Rooting for all of us
Blessings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
Hi. Cheers guys. I know it's stupid to quit quitting. I just got so down,the anxiety + everything else kicked in (as usual) But it's not hanging around as badly as normal. The thought of a baby's helping (1st 1) .We've cleared the air now,& figured out it was miscommunication between us. We've both got depression & when something starts us off, all the rest of the rubbish that affects piles in . I'm fed up with the booze,been at it too long (26 years) & I need to change. I'm contemplating going to AA,there's a meeting a few miles away from us every week,just gotta find out when. We both need this,well all 3 really .
. I'm fed up with the booze,been at it too long (26 years) & I need to change. I'm contemplating going to AA,there's a meeting a few miles away from us every week,just gotta find out when. We both need this,well all 3 really .
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,958
Learning to take on life sober is no easy task. The only way to gain sober experience with the challenges life throws at a person is to go through them sober. Endure the huge discomfort and then be comforted that the next time something unexpected pops up that is also very challenging, you have some sober experience to lean on.
I go to one or two AA meetings a week. I do so as a tangible exercise that shows to me that I am committed to living a life free of addiction. I'm not a 12-stepper, I have LifeRing Recovery as one of the action plans that I use for sober living instructions.
Also, I suggest that you keep your activity up here at SR. Post, reply, receive and give support to others here, all will aid you in your recovery.
Below are some useful links to a variety of recovery tools (sober living skills) that will inform you on how to deal with life's ups and downs sober. Have a look if you like. Hope to see you around here often
SOS Recovery and LifeRing Recovery
SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Addiction Recovery Tools from cbtrecovery.com
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health Great tools for maintaining sobriety as well. (from dbtselfhelp.com/index.html)
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)
Going to AA? Here's two of their main books.
AA 'Big Book' and the '12 and 12'.
I go to one or two AA meetings a week. I do so as a tangible exercise that shows to me that I am committed to living a life free of addiction. I'm not a 12-stepper, I have LifeRing Recovery as one of the action plans that I use for sober living instructions.
Also, I suggest that you keep your activity up here at SR. Post, reply, receive and give support to others here, all will aid you in your recovery.
Below are some useful links to a variety of recovery tools (sober living skills) that will inform you on how to deal with life's ups and downs sober. Have a look if you like. Hope to see you around here often
SOS Recovery and LifeRing Recovery
SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Addiction Recovery Tools from cbtrecovery.com
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health Great tools for maintaining sobriety as well. (from dbtselfhelp.com/index.html)
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)
Going to AA? Here's two of their main books.
AA 'Big Book' and the '12 and 12'.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
Hi, Thanks Zencat . I know what you mean about coping sober. I WAS when I collared the guy for looking in through the window,all the time :/ . I've GOT to get off the booze, We simply can't afford it. I've got liver & pancreas damage from it too, I would have thought that'd be enough to put me off, but no( when I was in hospital,my parents & girlfriends faces did stop me for 3 1/2 years) Don't know why I started again,,,,,,,,? . Back to 2 cans a night from now on
. I know what you mean about coping sober. I WAS when I collared the guy for looking in through the window,all the time :/ . I've GOT to get off the booze, We simply can't afford it. I've got liver & pancreas damage from it too, I would have thought that'd be enough to put me off, but no( when I was in hospital,my parents & girlfriends faces did stop me for 3 1/2 years) Don't know why I started again,,,,,,,,? . Back to 2 cans a night from now on Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
HI. The depressions really kicking in now,feeling hollow.Even thinking of the few good times I had as a kid makes me cry. I've got an immense feeling of guilt ,for what I've put my parents & others through. I'm not sure what to do.I can't talk to anyone about whats going on in my head,no psychyatrist appointment for months,& I don't really trust him (he broke the hypocratic oath) . My GF's out all day cause I'm so down,can't blame her really :/ . I don't want my parents finding out I'm drinking again either. Really don't know where to turn
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by NOFX
... I'm contemplating going to AA,there's a meeting a few miles away from us every week,just gotta find out when.
Not trying to push AA, but you seem to be struggling on your own. Not sure if you checked out Zencats helpful links, but again, what you are doing (on your own), isn't working.
Enough thinking...thinking leads to drinking. Time for action.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Too much time on your hands! Too much thinking time!
Try to DO somthing. I also have liver damage... it sucks, I know.
I have time on my hands too, but I try to fill it with more positive thoughts and do things. Whatever has happened in your past has happened... its over. You have to think of the future.
Instead of buying that can of beer... why not go to the DIY shop and get a pot of paint and a paint brush. Make a nice spot in you bedroom for the new arrival. Go to a charity shop if you are strapped for cash, get a few baby blankets, some teddies or whatever. Imagine the brownie points you will get from your girlfriend when she comes home...
Be pro-active... you will be amazed what an hour of DOING SOMETHING does to your mood and self-esteem!
Don't let me down... I'm waiting for your next post xx
Try to DO somthing. I also have liver damage... it sucks, I know.
I have time on my hands too, but I try to fill it with more positive thoughts and do things. Whatever has happened in your past has happened... its over. You have to think of the future.
Instead of buying that can of beer... why not go to the DIY shop and get a pot of paint and a paint brush. Make a nice spot in you bedroom for the new arrival. Go to a charity shop if you are strapped for cash, get a few baby blankets, some teddies or whatever. Imagine the brownie points you will get from your girlfriend when she comes home...
Be pro-active... you will be amazed what an hour of DOING SOMETHING does to your mood and self-esteem!
Don't let me down... I'm waiting for your next post
xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: malvern worcestershire
Posts: 27
Cheers guys. There's no point in decorating,we've gotta move out cause of the little un,can't get on the list for another 4 weeks either :/ .I can't really get to shops(banned from driving for 1 spliff a night.....? ) & we're a couple of miles away from any shops.My backs a little bad & walking any distance is crippling .
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Originally Posted by NOFX
Cheers guys. There's no point in decorating,we've gotta move out cause of the little un,can't get on the list for another 4 weeks either :/ .I can't really get to shops(banned from driving for 1 spliff a night.....? ) & we're a couple of miles away from any shops.My backs a little bad & walking any distance is crippling .
.
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