Bruno1979

Hi guys,

Another question sorry,

I am actually getting into the swing of this non drinking lifestyle now, its only the 2nd day free of booze and I've done that many many times before, but today I've got a good feeling. Thanks to this forum I've not at all even felt like calling into my local pub after work for a few sneaky beers. I feel as though I can come on here with a brew and have a read about how you all are doing.

I'm even taking 2 of my children to cub scouts and brownies this evening which is great and I can then come home and have another read of this forum again.

The quick question is, I haven't mentioned to my partner that I come onto this forum yet as I only joined yesterday. I've never admitted that I have a problem with alcohol and I'm still probably in denial to myself too. I feel that the moment I tell my wife that I read this forum as I do that it my frighten her that I've finally come clean. It may also frighten myself.

Does this seem crazy to you guys too?

I think I'd prefer to leave it until I've succeded for a month or 2 and then tell my wife my secret to my success.

It would be interesting to hear other peoples thought on this too.

Sorry for the long post,

Thanks in advance,

Bruno.

sugarbear1

Welcome!

second day free, but something about coming on here with a brew? are you done or not?

give time time and don't rush into anything just yet. give yourself time to stay stopped.

Stay strong today!

BillyPilgrim

Bruno do you think your partner doesnt suspect you have an issue with drink?
either way they will be proud of you if you are trying your dangdest to kick it

john1972

Bruno, i too am new to this process, this is now my 7th day. I didn't come looking for this kind of site until i finally told myself i had a problem, other people had been telling me but i didnt realize it myself. This site has been a help to me for now i see i am not alone, there are other people with my same problem. Good luck on your Journey.

Bruno1979

Thanks for the replies guys,

Just to make it clear, a brew in the UK is either a coffee or a nice cup of english tea,

I was refering to tea. :-)

Sorry for the confusion.

Bruno1979

Welcome John1972 and well done on your achievement so far.

How much were you drinking, if you don't mind me asking?

Fallow

Yes, my wife knows I am always reading this forum.

She used to ask me 'what are you reading' when she saw me buried in my phone.
The answer was always SR for months.

Now she doesnt even ask lol.

She does not know my username or read posts though.

frances2011

I've kept SR private from my husband because I feel this is my problem I'm working on to make my marriage to him even better through Recovery.

He knows about my sobriety and fully supports it. I just don't involve him in all my Recovery work. I want him to experience my Better Choices, not have to go through the muck with me.

That said, I accidentally left my monitor on recently with a big old post front and center. He needed to sit at my desk to use my printer and obviously saw what was there. I asked him about it and he said, "I didn't read anything, I just printed my stuff out." I told him it was personal but that I would be happy to discuss anything he DID read. He said he was fine and nothing needed to be discussed.

I was feeling ashamed and then realized that ANYTHING I post here I would share with my husband. My Recovery isn't a secret, it's a WONDERFUL thing. I used to sneak booze. I have no reason to "sneak" or "hide" SR with him.

That said, this is my experience and I support others in doing what is BEST FOR YOU.

BillyPilgrim

Two nations divided by a common language.......

john1972

I was drinking on average 12-14 beers a night 4-5 nights a week, luckily i was functioning, or enough to work and things like that, but it was really starting to take a toll on my body. How about yourself?

Hopeless71

I feel this forum is my saving grace, I read what I want, and don't really want to discuss it with anyone I don't want to, including my wife. If she knows I'm in here, curiosity may get the best of her, which might lead to unnecessary trouble. So with that being said, I'm working on it day by day, reading and posting without the fear of having to justify what I'm reading or what I've said to anybody.

Bruno1979

Too many mate, I wasn't drinking every night it was becoming a problem, I do know when to say no to the beers but the wine was causing me a major problem. I could have 4,5 or 6 beers in the pub after work and then head home and have atleast a bottle of wine in the house. I wasn't driving to and from the pub, I always made sure that my vehicle was at home at the time. This was happening a couple of times a week, sometimes more. Then at weekends I'd go on a super wine binge. Its all good fun at the time but the effect that it was having on my health and my family was plain to see.

Muunray

Yeah my boyfriend knows. At first he couldn't believe how much time I spend on here. But now he is grateful for the results and probably figures it isn't much more time then he spends on his sport pages reading!

john1972

I wish i had realized the problem alot sooner...my wife has put up with it for many years. She has told me for along time she wasnt going to do it much longer. She has now in the last few months decided enough was enough. i think once i realized the finality of it i woke up. Unfortunately i dont think she is willing to give me another chance. I am not giving up but she is real resistent to it and said there has been too much hurt and anger.

john1972

Bruno and back to your original question, yeah my wife knows i have been coming on here, i figured better for her to know i am activiely working on this problem.

Pigtails

My boyfriend has seen SR come up in my browser history and he kind of scoffs at it because he isn't incredibly supportive of my not drinking and he doesn't really understand recovery. He thinks I should have come here once or twice in the past, realized I didn't want to drink as much anymore, and then moved on with my life. He doesn't like the idea that AA and SR are things I need probably forever, that it doesn't just go away by thinking about it. I don't really announce my visits here nor do I show him my posts or screenname etc., not really because I'm trying to hide it (although I do vent about him and try to get advice about him etc.) but because to me it's private, like a journal, a space for me only, and my recovery has to come first. I wish he could understand, but, he doesn't, so, I just log in and post!

Bruno1979

Stick at it mate, after years of marriage and you finally getting rid of your demons, even without knowing the full story it would make a great motivational story for others if she did give you another chance. She has obviously had a love for you before and once she see's that you are back to being the husband that she once knew then it is very possible that the story will end well.

Good luck,

Bruno.

Tippingpoint

My wife and I have never really talked about it. I'm not sure if she knows or not...I'm not particularly careful about it though and have left the browser open to the site many a time. She's not the type to snoop though and respects my space. I have told her about my problem and she's been very supportive of my efforts to date.

Purplecatlover

My husband knows. I thought I should be honest. He's my bestfriend & I share everything with him. He knew how long I'd been struggling & wanting to overcome this addiction.
He probably doesn't like the amount of time I spend here but he is supportive of whatever it takes to keep me sober.

anotherquitter

My wife doesn't know I've found SR - yet. But in all honesty I have not quit yet either.