6palms

I haven't told my wife and have been careful abut making sure she doesn't know...can't quite explain it but i don't want her to see me struggle with this. I am the one who makes everything OK in our home, I am the problem solver, the one who takes the action to make any problems alright (pretty ironic as I type this). I don't want her to see me differently, if that makes any sense, but with that being said I'm pretty sure she recognizes that I drink too much and too often. Btw, tonight's activity for the family (and to keep me from thinking about having a beer) is drive in movie night! Funny, my wife commented how "creative" I was being by recommending the beach last night and a family drivein movie tonight . Powering thru day 2!

Bruno1979

Good on you my friend, absolutely fantastic story,

I have just got back from picking my kids up from cub scouts which is good.

There are no drive in movies here in the UK though, I'd love us to do something like that.

Well done again,

Bruno.

Dee74

Hi Bruno

Speaking generally about telling your wife why you're here....personally I think that those closest to us should know about what we're dealing with - but I also understand it's a hard subject to broach.

It's day 2 for you, yeah? - maybe it's best to just focus on not drinking for now, while you take a little time out and think about it?

enjoy that cuppa
D

DoinThis

Hi Bruno, I tell my hubby as otherwise he'd think I was having an online affair...lol! My husband is amazingly supportive, for me it helped for him to know everything. He then understood when I was irritable in the beginning or why I didn't want to go to a party in the first bit. All the best for u! Your wife might surprise u and be really happy your seeking help

blackstrat6

My partner knows and is a member. She has friends here as well which is cool but I must admit I don't post as openly as I might if she wasn't.

DryScotsman

Well done for your efforts so far!

I am now 20 days sober and have made no secret of going into this site as I want my wife to see I am serious about staying sober this time.

But do whatever works best for you, if you are not comfortable sharing then don't!

Meminy

Bruno,
Hi there! Congratulations on day two! My husband definitely knows about this website, as this is my pre-AA venture into discussing sobriety. He is sort of like my motivational speaker/sponsor/cheerleader all rolled into one. We have always had an incredibly close relationship though, I know sharing with a spouse is not for everyone.

Zebra1275

My wife knows that I go to a recovery site online, I may have told her the name one time, I doubt if she remembers. She also knows I go to AA, she doesn't ask me about those meetings either. Occasionally, I may tell here something in general terms, but it's my recovery, not her's and she gives me space.

least

I live alone so don't have to worry over a partner's reaction to my online activities. But if I did have a partner I think I'd tell him about 'a forum' and not any more info than that. I value my privacy and anonymity.

Tres

In the beginning I did not tell my hubby. He did ask why I was on the computer so much. Normally I hate being on it. I did tell him and don't hide it. He does not ask and doesn't know my name or anything.

Lately I have been telling him a bit about what I do here. He is supportive and seems fine with it.

SR has been my lifeline since sobriety. November 1, 2011.

Tuffgirl

I never told my husband about SR; he did find out though and stalked me here for a while. As the wife of the alcoholic, I would have much preferred openness to the struggles he was enduring, because they directly effected me too. I would have been pleased to see him take an interest in my "recovery" in Al-Anon and here, instead of just sneak around on the periphery until he was caught.

Now, at 16 months sober, we attend meetings together (well he has been to one Al-Anon meeting and I have been to quite a few open AA speaker meetings) but its so much nicer sharing this journey with him now, instead of doing it all alone.

Just my ES&H. Congrats on two days... keep it up!
~T

Lily

My husband totally know I come here. Obviously if I have been here since 07 he would know something was up. LOL He is the most non-snoopy person I have ever known. As are his parents. My husband totally supports my coming here, but does not ask questions or look at what I write. He has his favorite stock and news sites he visits and he knows this is one of mine. I love him more and more every day. We will celebrate 10 yrs in July of marriage.

DayTrader

I don't hide that I'm in recovery or that I come to this site from just about anyone. I've found it emensely rewarding to be open about my reality. Hiding things from the ppl in my life was how I operated in addiction and it didn't work. It took a while to set aside my fears and be open about recovery but, like I said, it's been waaay worth it. As a result, I've been able to help ppl I never would have known needed help had I not been open about myself.

I can't think of a time I've been burned by being honest in or about my recovery.

Amy2011

Hello. I have been sober and attending AA since last March and visiting SR as a lurker since April. I have been completely upfront about AA and the time I spend on SR from the beginning. I have a very busy life with a full-time job and 2 children so I need all the support I can get. I spent so much time trying to hide my drinking and hide alcohol that I was to tired to hide recovery. I also was upfront with my kids (ages 9 and 11 at the time) by the end of the first week. I didn't want to begin my journey lying or hiding the truth from my family. I also knew that we all needed to deal with the issue of my alcoholism as a family as we all had been affected. Sharing the I was committed to recovery with my husband and kids made me accountable and allowed me to share when things were tough or I was having a hard time in the beginning. I believe that if you are serious about recovery your SO should know. I know talking about it is hard. I was full of so much guilt, shame, embarrassement, and remorse I thought I could never go to AA let alone discuss it with anyone. That being said I am only honest about being in recovery with close friends and most of my extended family. Only you can decide what is best for you.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Amy, welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here, too.

Great thread, Bruno. I don't have much to contribute because I'm single, and quit before my then-6-year-old daughter caught on. She just knows that I don't drink. A couple of my closest friends know why I quit; most others are as unaware of my recovery as they were of my drinking.