Goatlady

I am almost 5 months sober (yay). When I first came into recovery, it was almost instinctive that I blog about it because I am a writer/story-teller at my core level and, well, this was a big story. So, I shared what brought me into the light of recovery and have shared some of my struggles since.

My question is this; I spoke with my dad yesterday who expressed great concern that being public about my disease would come back and "bite me in the butt". He said that I could have opened myself up for a lot of unforeseen backlashes, i.e. not being able to get a job etc...

It never crossed my mind that being open and honest about my alcoholism would be anything but helpful, not only to me but to others who read about my struggles. Perhaps I was naive to think that I could share this publicly?

Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.

sober4metoday

Not everyone views alcoholism as a disease. You could choose to share with people that you've chosen a life without alcohol and leave it at that. Not everyone deserves to know your inner truths. Why label yourself as an "alcoholic" - what is the need? I'd rather label myself as "someone who chooses not to drink". And, I've realized not everyone is as obsessed with the thought of that as we are!

Congrats on 5 months!!!!!!!!!

sober4metoday

oh and congrats on the writing! that's such a gift to be a skilled writer! and it's a wonderful way to share your story!

jocata

Only the people I see and know in AA, my family, and close friends know of my addictions. Nobody else needs to know. If I am offered a drink while out, I simply say no thanks and leave it at that.

It doesn't have to be public knowledge.

God bless.

Lost3000

Congratulations on five months!!!

Your post really called out to me as I'm a writer too. It is not my main profession but encompasses my daily duties. I also just love doing it. So I suppose it's a hobby. I write on SR a lot. I also take part in the weekly online meetings.

I felt so good after getting sober (I'm 2 mos) that I wanted to shout it to the world. But...I did hesitate with work. I haven't told anyone at my work about my alcoholism. I did tell a colleague that I quit, but she immediately assumed it was for health reasons (we are always talking about losing weight). Lately I've hinted about the alcoholism but she's become a good friend of mine and isn't the type to push.

I have told my friends, but not my family. My family drinks tons, and I believe is a small part of my alcoholism, and I guess that's why I don't want to tell them. But I will.

So...I feel like the others, it's really no one's business. And I do think that it could possibly hurt you to tell colleagues. There is a negative connotation connected with the term alcoholic. No doubt about it.

Goatlady

I guess my question is that, should I choose to share and blog about it...what are the repercussions? I'm self-employed and, as far as I can tell, always will be. Since I already have shared, there is nothing I can do about it now. Just wanted to know if there is some looming boom that is going to fall on me because I was public about it all.

I've received an outpouring of support and people telling me how much it is helping them in their own situation. Why would I withhold that? I completely understand those that feel the need to keep quiet about it because of work and family relationships. I wanted it out in the open where I could tell it on my terms and not have a lot of gossip and assumptions (I live in a small town).

Anyway, just wanted to get a little more insight into what could actually be the negative consequences of sharing publicly.

sugarbear1

I applaud you for being honest as you have been. You've already helped others. In the past 5 months have you had any negative repercussions because of your writing? (by the way, I'd love to read it)

Are you in a program of recovery?

I wish you continued success in your sober journey!

Lost3000

I just asked my Magic 8 ball and it says....LOL...honestly, there's no way to know what the repercussions are. By the way, I'm from a small town and I can't see that place NOT ever having gossip and assumptions. It's the way of the small town. Even if you are upfront.

A lot of people told me only good would come about by me telling others. I disagree. I've noticed some people acting uncomfortable around me when I tell them I don't drink. I suspect it's because they have their own issues with it.

If you aren't going in to an office and dealing with others daily, but just blogging, I'm not sure how you'd see negative repercussions. At least not in person anyhow. Just others typing on your blog. In that sense it seems it would be much easier to deal with. At work, I can't sensor what others say or delete their posts.

sober4metoday

Consequences of sharing it publicly is too much of a risk professionally for me. I, too, am self-employed. As an alcoholic I have to side with your father on this. Telling everyone you're an alcoholic could be like telling everyone you're a thief - sure, you don't steal anymore but does that mean everyone is going to view you as no longer a threat? Just because you don't drink anymore people could still view you as unstable. I know it sucks! Trust me, I know.

And I have to be honest......as a former employer.....if an applicant told me they were a recovering alcoholic I would have scrapped their resume in a heartbeat. AND THAT'S NOT EASY TO ADMIT. I just want to give you my honest opinion.

Good luck with your endeavors no matter which avenue you choose.

nonblondechef

Fantastic accomplishment, Goatlady! I have told my daughter and my best friend (who was also my best drinking partner). They are both very supportive, though my daughter is my main confidant. Sometimes I think she should be the mom :-) Point being this - I personally do not feel like my business is anybody elses, especially something so personal. If loose lips sink ships, my boat will continue to sail along upright - especially today. Wishing you continued success!!

soberwingz

Congrats on your 5 months. It is indeed a wonderful feeling.

How you choose to share your sobriety is your discretion. Do what ever feels comfortable. Being honest also means being accountable. Just do whatever it takes to not drink today.

sober4metoday

If you feel compelled to share your truth then perhaps you could use a pseudonym online instead of revealing your identity?

DayTrader

I'm sure some folks have had bad experiences....I have not had one bad experience in five years though. Also, I don't personally know anyone who's shared a bad experience about telling someone they're in recovery.

I'm a financial planner (stockbroker) and ALL my co-workers know. Matter of fact, I GOT the job because they appreciated how open and honest I was during the interview (two traits not seen all that often, yanno? - everyone's trying to hide things, cover stuff up and play a character they think others will like).

I haven't told ALL my clients but many of them know......for the same reason mentioned above, it's been nothing but beneficial and brought in more business.

I know a lot of engineers and/execs at GM, Ford, and Chrysler (I live in the Detroit area) and they don't hide it, I know a couple doctors who don't hide it, I know 2 surgeons who don't hide it, I know a couple nurses who don't hide it,...... a priest, a former nun, several attorneys, a local magistrate, multiple substance abuse therapists, ........and the list goes on.

Look, I'm not saying to stand on a mountain top and proclaim it to everyone.......but there's also no need to lurk in shadows and keep it as a dirty little secret either.

sugarbear1

I have bookmarked it! Beautifully written! Keep it up!
Peace & love,

bryangt

That's a tough one. I am selective about who needs to know & who doesn't. You may feel it inside. But going public to help others isn't a bad thing. You are doing a good thing and everything else should take care of itself. Trust in your HP.

langkah

Well done on your almost 5 months.

You're writing quite well about how you feel, and what you're thinking about, and what you think about how you're feeling now.

I don't think anyone is likely to hold that against you in the future.

Lost3000

This really sums it up well. I had one minor uncomfortable moment. And my husband says it was weird and the girl handled it lamely too. It was for a get together my friend organized. She wanted drinks. I said I quit drinking. So another friend offered dinner. While at dinner, another friend's husband mentioned their fav drinking spot and said, why aren't we over there? His wife, said, whispered, ummm, because it's more of a bar....And then silence. I smiled and carried on the conversation but it was awkward. In retrospect, I think she's the one with the issue.

So that's the only iffy time I've had with it in my super long sobriety time of 2 mos. LOL.

sober4metoday

I guess because nobody knew I had an issue with alcohol that I was privy to the backroom whispers and the gossip. It absolutely did effect those who admitted abuse problems in ways they had no idea of. It was THE reason I kept it hidden when I was younger.

I think it's great that some of you didn't run into any issues. There are a lot of people who understand out there. But, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who don't understand. You've got to be realistic. It's a judgmental world we live in.

I don't keep my issues with alcohol out of public knowledge because it's a "dirty little secret". I keep it private like I do my sex life and my political and religious persuasions - because it's nobody's business but mine.

If you share you take chances and quite frankly alcohol has done enough damage.

And let me clarify - I speak of the professional and public world because I assume that's what the poster was inquiring about. Those closest to me know and if any of them chose to judge me they get the BOOT.

MustStop

A writer by the name of John Cheese vlogged his way to recovery on youtube. He wrote comedic articles about the subject and used himself as the example. Lets just say his life certainly didn't go backwards because of it...interviewed by Forbes Magazine last week.

Check his stuff out

juvenilecomedy's Channel - YouTube

Funny Articles by Cracked Columnists | Cracked.com

Cracked: John Cheese On Dark Comedy, Addiction And Pen Names - Forbes

Nirvana1

I found that talking about my drinking past can only hurt me if I ever drank in the future. I can benefit those who may be struggling by talking about how I overcame my drinking obstacles.