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Can't let drugs & alcohol ruin my promising career

Old 02-27-2012, 02:34 PM
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Can't let drugs & alcohol ruin my promising career

I'm a 24 year old alcoholic and drug addict (cocaine to be exact). I have been in denial all throughout college. My mother is the only one who truly saw I had a problem. I am a high functioning alcoholic and coke addict. Always made good grades, kept a steady job while in school, had a great circle of friends, close to my family, etc. So most people probably didn't think or see I had a problem. Now that I've graduated and am working in the high-stress field of financial services as a Financial Analyst for a firm, I am exposed to alcohol and drugs all the time. Many of my coworkers take coke or pop prescription pills to stay up and do work. Many of the execs drink excessively after (or during) work. It's a very unhealthy environment for someone with an addictive personality such as myself. I found myself sneaking wine in my coffee mug and adding baileys to my real coffee, sniffing coke every 30min in the bathroom, and going out and partying after work getting blackout drunk and not remembering what I did or how I got home. Last week, I went out for happy hour at 5pm and blacked out. I came to around 2am walking into my house reeking of alcohol and my nose sore. I had $400 in my wallet that I was supposed to deposit at the bank the next day for a friend...it was all gone. I had $3 left.

I have a promising career if I stay on the right path and I can't let alcohol and drugs ruin my chances of success. My first counseling appt is on Wednesday. I don't expect much but I feel good taking that first step to get better.
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:42 PM
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Welcome yunalesca

I think you're wise to start dealing with this now - I wouldn't be giving my money to financial analysts who booze and pop pills as a matter of course.

Be one of the smart ones

D
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:18 PM
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Welcome to SR!

I'd get yourself off the destructive path you're heading down. It sounds like it doesn't lead anywhere good. I've known a lot of people that could put "had lots of potential" on their gravestones, but ended up going to an early death because they couldn't get their addictions under control.

Best wishes at counseling. I hope you find something you can do to get and keep yourself sober.
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:44 PM
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Again, "high functioning" refers to those with developmental disabilities. You're just another drunk/druggie. Alcoholics Anonymous was begun by professionals who didn't want to hinder their employment, hence the word "anonymous." It's wise to get off the roller coaster today, before this does jeopardize your career. Consider your health, too! Many of us began our drinking/drugging careers as you have. Some of us even did that for another 24 years or so. AA and NA are options. There are other programs, too. I'd start with rehab to stay away from all opportunities to obtain alcohol or cocaine.

I wish you well on your sober journey!
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:21 PM
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I can definitely relate...only I'm you ten years later and didnt get help until I ruined my career. When I finished college, I went to work at a major brokerage firm too. My peers were party animals too and there were many doing coke at work and after work. I went out drinking most nights of week...and stayed awake with coke. It all caught up to me and I lost the job and declared bankruptcy. Get help now and save yourself years of anguish!
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:31 PM
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Yunalesca,

Welcome to SR. You will find a wealth of knowledge, wisdom and understanding here. I used to live in Chicago, and had a career in the financial sector also. Hard core pressure.

The professionals that I knew that had been successful (and happy) for a very long period of time had one thing in common - they drank very, very little and never did drugs. You have a great future ahead of you if you get and stay sober. Stop now because it does not get easier and never ends well. I put myself in rehab at 35 for coke and alcohol....haven't done coke since, relapsed with alcohol, but sober now. When I see former colleagues and friends who were/are part of the drug crowd that are still alive they look like hell. That stuff ages you fast, and that is if you are lucky. I bet I could name at least a dozen that are not with us anymore. Stop now before something really bad happens.....because it will, I guarantee you. Give it all you have got. Good luck, and take care.
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:37 PM
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Welcome yuna! I'm so glad you're facing this now - before your life is destroyed. At 24 I was ages away from seeing the light, & lost everything trying to control my addiction.

SR helped me so much in the early weeks - I hope you'll feel the same. Thanks for telling your story - it's sure to inspire & help another newcomer. Let us know how your counseling appointment goes.
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:44 PM
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Mother of God I wish I had caught my issues at 24 years of age. Instead, exactly 20 years later, my once promising - turned very successful career was ripped from me quicker than a heart attack. Booze took my common sense and logic hostage, along with causing me to lose almost everything I owned and everyone I loved. Put in some perspective, 6 years ago I was driving my Audi A6 or Nissan 350Z (depending on my mood) or my Harley Vrod when weather permitted. Now I drive the MRT and the bus. 6 years ago my home was a 5 star Grand Hyatt hotel suite. I now live in a 1 bedroom resale flat that I can't afford to paint. 6 years ago I was flying half way around the world on a whim in business class, just to attend my 12 year old son's hockey games. Now my son hates me so bad he won't answer my phone calls or emails. 6 years ago I was working out 2 hours a day, hovering at around 6% body fat. Today I have Osteoporosis, a fully reconstructed steel shoulder, and have lost 3 inches in height from compression fractures in my spine (from combining my alcoholism with steroid use).

Please keep on your current train of thought close yunalesca. Keep looking for the solution now through any and every method there is available. AA, therapy, rational recovery, SMART, use it all. Please don't let one single thing sidetrack you. Remember I told you this: NOTHING is as important as your sobriety. Not one person, place, thing, or situation is more important to you than remaining sober. NOTHING.

Problems like you've described this early on are bound to get worse amigo, and you really honestly can destroy your life from it. I'm living proof. At your age I had a few situations like the one you are describing, way before things went from bad to worse, and wrote them all off as unimportant or just nuisances. My ego wouldn't let me see what was going on back then. I was a fool, a complete bloody idiot. You're ahead of the game by recognizing it so young, and for that I am impressed.

Lots of great people here to help also, you're at the right place to find out how to stay quit and do it right. This forum is golden. Good luck. Get 'er done.
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:50 AM
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Thank you for all of your kind words everyone. It really helps. I'm so happy I found this forum. I have stopped drinking and taking coke as of yesterday, but I'm just going to take it one day at a time. Combined with counseling/therapy, SR, family support, and addiction support groups, I think I can overcome this.
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:58 AM
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If you want to see what your life will be like very soon if you stay on this path - go have breakfast at Ceres (CBOT) and see how packed the bar is at 7am.
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:44 PM
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Yunalesca,

Good for you - Please keep us posted. I want a happy ending to your story. Forge ahead!
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:33 PM
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You absolutely can do this, yunalesca! When I first got here, I really had my doubts about being able to get sober and couldn't imagine a life without drinking. Now I can't imagine going back to that life - it feels good to be free.......

This is a great community, a real life-saver for me..... Keep reading and posting - better days are ahead!
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:45 PM
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(((Yunalesca))) - Welcome to SR!! I truly wish I'd had your insight at your age. My downward spiral into addiction didn't come until I was about 40...had abused alcohol, quit that; abused opiates, quit that (WHEN I lost my nursing career) then discovered crack.

At age 50, almost 5 years into recovery, I'm still dealing with consequences. Some will last a lifetime, most others? I'm moving past them.

We don't stay "high-functioning" for long. At some point, we lose the ability to function. I'm really glad you're one day into no substances.

Please, don't let anyone convince you that "oh, you're young...it's just a little, everyone does it". That's what eventually led me to being a crackhead at the age of 40-something...a drug I'd sworn I'd never do, was terrified of, but I still ended up an addict.

SR has been a HUGE part of my recovery and I'm really glad you're here

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 02-28-2012, 11:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Impurrfect View Post

We don't stay "high-functioning" for long. At some point, we lose the ability to function. I'm really glad you're one day into no substances.
I went well for me till I was about 26.

Then suddenly I RUSHED downwards....
Doing ok now for the time being...

but really suddenly I was stupid and couldn't function anymore hahaha....

Getting my brains a bit back now luckely
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Old 02-28-2012, 11:14 PM
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yunalesca

I've got 18yrs as a financial planner under my belt. I'm WELL acquainted with the lifestyle you described. I'll promise this to you....continuing on WILL cost you that promising career......as it will all the others who are doing it.....unless you stop and get it under control.

Here's something you may not have considered....that inevitable "bad ending" may not come for another 10 or 15 YEARS........then you'd have the wonderful responsibility of starting all over, from scratch, in a new career with the knowledge that you just wasted the past 10/15 years partying.... Been there, done that.

Get SERIOUS about recovery....put a "pound the table strong buy" on it and load the boat. I'll warn ya.....you won't like a lot of the suggestions and won't like some of the work you're going to have to do. Just man up and do it anyway. I promise, it's time well spent and way easier than dealing with the damage that can result from not taking it seriously enough and getting into more trouble down the road.
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