View Poll Results: First outting - girl's night out
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First outing
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Originally Posted by Lost3000 
And lastly, remorse and sadness, because I feel that our friendship will not last long and knowing that it's me that changed it, I'm the one who stepped away from booze.
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Originally Posted by Sapling
How can you feel sadness for that?....Are you going to miss all the joy and happiness it brought you? Carry on!....Go out and grab life by the horns!
"And lastly, remorse and sadness, because I feel that our friendship will not last long and knowing that it's me that changed it, I'm the one who stepped away from booze.
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Originally Posted by Lost3000
Surely you can understand sadness for loss of friendship??
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Originally Posted by Sapling
Not really...My drinking friends are doing the same things as when I drank with them...They don't miss me a bit....Funny thing though...Whenever I run into one of them....They start telling me how they have been cutting down...Like they are unsure of themselves and have to prove something to me. I have my own life to live. I guess if I feel sad at all...It's sadness for them....Not about missing them.
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I'm not arguing with you...I'm very happy for you....I guess all the friends I had...Were drinking friends...That's pretty much all I ever did. Sad as that may sound....Every activity I did revolved around alcohol. It had it's hooks in me pretty good.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Lost - I can understand how you feel about your friend who knows your situation not making an extra effort to plan a non-drinking activity with you. Last year, one of my best friends quit drinking after she ended up in an emergency room with no recollection of how she got there. Even then, when I was still drinking, I made an effort to go to museums with her, not drink at dinner, get lunch etc. because I didn't want her to think our friendship was based on booze. I think maybe I was starting to feel like my own drinking was becoming a problem then, so I was able to empathize. Unfortunately, a lot of people didn't. It's hard not to be frustrated with them, but the reality is they either just don't get it, or just don't care. They want to party and that's their priority. But it is sad when friendships end, especially when you have to face the reality that they may have been based around something so empty.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
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I understand how sapling feels. All of my "friends" turned out to just be drinking pals too and none of them ever come around anymore.
i also understand where lost is coming from because I did lost a few real good friends as well but you have to remind yourself that this is for you. You are making yourself a better person, and while you may be sad now, you will make new friends in the future.
i also understand where lost is coming from because I did lost a few real good friends as well but you have to remind yourself that this is for you. You are making yourself a better person, and while you may be sad now, you will make new friends in the future.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
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Originally Posted by MagnifiedStar
Lost - I can understand how you feel about your friend who knows your situation not making an extra effort to plan a non-drinking activity with you. Last year, one of my best friends quit drinking after she ended up in an emergency room with no recollection of how she got there. Even then, when I was still drinking, I made an effort to go to museums with her, not drink at dinner, get lunch etc. because I didn't want her to think our friendship was based on booze. I think maybe I was starting to feel like my own drinking was becoming a problem then, so I was able to empathize. Unfortunately, a lot of people didn't. It's hard not to be frustrated with them, but the reality is they either just don't get it, or just don't care. They want to party and that's their priority. But it is sad when friendships end, especially when you have to face the reality that they may have been based around something so empty.
This is a friend I've known for years. We did lots of things together without drinking. But then we married off and had our own lives. Now she's divorced and seems to want to go out with other people and drink. Sometimes she doesn't do that - but then I'm not invited either. I'm not sure what to think.
I don't expect her to always keep me in mind and do non-drinking things, but I felt her initial invite was misleading because it talked about all these non-drinking options. Then when I asked her, it was, oh we are going to a bar. Well, gee thanks - why not just say that in the first place then??
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Originally Posted by FlyerFan
I understand how sapling feels. All of my "friends" turned out to just be drinking pals too and none of them ever come around anymore.
Originally Posted by FlyerFan
i also understand where lost is coming from because I did lost a few real good friends as well but you have to remind yourself that this is for you. You are making yourself a better person, and while you may be sad now, you will make new friends in the future.
Thanks Flyer.
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Originally Posted by rochele
I think perhaps your friend is dealing with her own inner demons surrounding alcohol. When others get sober, we look into ourselves perhaps?
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