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Old 01-27-2012, 05:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Bit of a dilemma


Ok guys, I feel like I am faced with a bit of a dilemma. I have been sober now for about 2.5 months and I am feeling pretty good about my sobriety. I'm not perfect but I have been trying to get sober for around a year now and this time feels very different. I have strung together a 4 to 5 month period of sobriety before and have only drank around 4 times this last year.

My dilemma comes with the fact that for the last 2.5 months I have been attending AA meetings and went to a treatment center that was AA based. I really enjoyed the treatment, it was outpatient, and I feel like it helped me alot and I got to meet some really cool people. I never did like the 12 step part of the program, but, I did it anyways including the getting a sponsor and working the steps etc.

Recently I have come to a crossroads where I feel torn about continuing to attend and participate in AA. After attending almost daily for the last 2.5 months there are just a lot of things that have kind of turned me off the program. The main one is the constant negative reinforcement and guilt that comes with prolonged AA attendance and working the steps. Honestly, I want to get sober I don't want to rehash all my lifes wrongs and stew over them. Some of my issues spring from my sponsor but on a whole I feel like the program is probably not for me. My biggest worry about quitting AA is that the treatment center I went to has an aftercare program one night a week that I really enjoy, but, you are required to fill out how many meetings you have attended that week and how many times you have talked to your sponsor. I want to keep attending, but, I don't want to lie about meeting attendance. I'm thinking about talking to my friend in the group about it and see what he says. He is open minded and not an AA zealot so I feel like he may have good insight.

Anyways, I will appreciate any and all replies. Thanks guys. I'm so glad the interwebz provides me a place to ask questions like this because without this forum I would have no one.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I never did like the 12 step part of the program, but, I did it anyways including the getting a sponsor and working the steps etc.
The 12 steps are the program of recovery..You did them honestly and thoroughly with a sponsor?....And got nothing out of it?....Rarely have we seen a person fail...
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi,

Congratulations on 2 1/2 months sober.

What I kinow is that you have to find a recovery method that works for you, that you are comfortable with. I agree with you about not lying at your aftercare program. I also wonder if you are considering a different type of program? I am not an AA person and I have used SR for the most part, as my recovery method, along with lots of great books on spirituality. It works for me.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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The 12 steps are the program of recovery..You did them honestly and thoroughly with a sponsor?....And got nothing out of it?....Rarely have we seen a person fail...
Fortunately, he hasn't failed.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi UofI

whenever I read a post like this my advice is always the same - do AA or don't do AA - I've seen successes both ways - but make sure you do something....recovery's important and I believe we need to keep working at it

D
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The 12 steps are the program of recovery..You did them honestly and thoroughly with a sponsor?....And got nothing out of it?....Rarely have we seen a person fail...
I got something out of it. I learned alot from doing the steps etc. I'm just not sure that path is for me. Bill W. and Dr. Bob got sober long before they had concrete steps written down in the big book. Were they doing it wrong? It is very possible to get and stay sober without them. Just look around this place.

I don't want to argue wether AA is right or wrong, it obviously works for lots of people. All I want to do is make sure I am being honest with myself that I really tried AA and that it is ok to branch out.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I recently stopped going to AA as well. I just dont buy into the revisit the past, make amends, etc etc etc. Good luck to whatever works for you.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I guess I just need reassurance more than anything. I'm going to tell my family tonight or tomorrow that I am thinking about quitting. I don't think they will mind because they have seen me progress alot this past year with and without AA.

I think I finally have got what Dee always says, "Don't drink, ever". I have just resigned myself to the fact I am never going to drink again.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I wish you best...I'm glad you got something out of it. Just don't pick up....And do the next right thing....Good luck on your journey.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi,

Congratulations on 2 1/2 months sober.

What I kinow is that you have to find a recovery method that works for you, that you are comfortable with. I agree with you about not lying at your aftercare program. I also wonder if you are considering a different type of program? I am not an AA person and I have used SR for the most part, as my recovery method, along with lots of great books on spirituality. It works for me.
I'm thinking about using SR as my support and just reading lots of recovery material. I also plan on continuing to read my daily meditation book that they gave me in treatment even though it is AA based there is alot to gain in reading it in the morning.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
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U,

This is my take on the Steps. It's a business plan for sobriety. For me, the Steps were about reducing my stress that my alcoholism caused. I had to accept personal responsibility for my actions and make things right. This relieved a lot of guilt for me.

I did not enjoy AA. Fortuantely I had a fabulous woman for a sponsor. She really taught me well. She passed away after 8 years with me. I sorta hung around AA for a while but quit going. It just wasn't for me.

You might want to check out AVRT and Rational Recovery for your continuing care. It works for me.

Love from Lenina
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:58 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Where did you learn the false information about the history of AA? Bill & Bob followed the steps before getting sober, then wrote them on paper....The Washingtonians, which began in a bar in Baltimore as a group of drinkers who helped eachother stop, had been in place 100 years before Bob & Bill were acquainted with The Oxford Group. There's so much more! Carl Jung was involved, so was J.D. Rockefeller. There's so much vital information available. AA has a rich history.

In the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous, and in all other editions, chapter 5, "How It Works," It states, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

What negativity? My meetings are full of hope & change. So are the steps. Working and living the steps has changed me. I have an outgoing happy attitude but before the steps I was shy, self-centered, anxious, & angry.

Be honest & let your outpatient people know what's up. Ffind a program that works for you. Maybe it's just a negative attitude reflected back. Try other meetings, if you need to, but certainly find a program that works. Maybe read some real history of AA before you mislead others.

Best wishes,
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I dont want this thread to devolve. There is stuff I like about AA and I definetly garnerd some good info and tips from it. PLEASE PLEASE don't get defensive about it I'm just trying to find a path to sobriety that suits me. I'm looking for advice not looking for fight.
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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PLEASE PLEASE don't get defensive about it I'm just trying to find a path to sobriety that suits me. I'm looking for advice not looking for fight.
You wouldn't be the first person to use AA as a launching pad for sobriety and then drift away from the program. Tons of happily sober examples here at SR, as a matter of fact.

It's all good, really it is. It's neither skin of your nose nor AA's.

Continue to value and protect your sobriety as you clearly do now, and you'll be a-ok.
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:13 PM   #15 (permalink)
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All I want to do is make sure I am being honest with myself that I really tried AA and that it is ok to branch out.
You can leave AA whenever you want to.
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:15 PM   #16 (permalink)
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You wouldn't be the first person to use AA as a launching pad for sobriety and then drift away from the program. Tons of happily sober examples here at SR, as a matter of fact.

It's all good, really it is. It's neither skin of your nose nor AA's.

Continue to value and protect your sobriety as you clearly do now, and you'll be a-ok.
I really appreciate the kind words.
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:24 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Absolutely, and as long as you maintain your motivation, you will be fine.
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