Ok guys, I feel like I am faced with a bit of a dilemma. I have been sober now for about 2.5 months and I am feeling pretty good about my sobriety. I'm not perfect but I have been trying to get sober for around a year now and this time feels very different. I have strung together a 4 to 5 month period of sobriety before and have only drank around 4 times this last year.
My dilemma comes with the fact that for the last 2.5 months I have been attending AA meetings and went to a treatment center that was AA based. I really enjoyed the treatment, it was outpatient, and I feel like it helped me alot and I got to meet some really cool people. I never did like the 12 step part of the program, but, I did it anyways including the getting a sponsor and working the steps etc.
Recently I have come to a crossroads where I feel torn about continuing to attend and participate in AA. After attending almost daily for the last 2.5 months there are just a lot of things that have kind of turned me off the program. The main one is the constant negative reinforcement and guilt that comes with prolonged AA attendance and working the steps. Honestly, I want to get sober I don't want to rehash all my lifes wrongs and stew over them. Some of my issues spring from my sponsor but on a whole I feel like the program is probably not for me. My biggest worry about quitting AA is that the treatment center I went to has an aftercare program one night a week that I really enjoy, but, you are required to fill out how many meetings you have attended that week and how many times you have talked to your sponsor. I want to keep attending, but, I don't want to lie about meeting attendance. I'm thinking about talking to my friend in the group about it and see what he says. He is open minded and not an AA zealot so I feel like he may have good insight.
Anyways, I will appreciate any and all replies. Thanks guys. I'm so glad the interwebz provides me a place to ask questions like this because without this forum I would have no one.
