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Drank yesterday after 4 months of sobriety

Old 01-14-2012, 03:58 PM
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Drank yesterday after 4 months of sobriety

I drank yesterday after 4 months of being sober. This was the longest I had been sober in about 5 years. I ran into my best friend from high school who is not an alcoholic. I had not seen him in years because he had moved away. We went to a party at a hipster-ish venue that was showcasing his artwork. I had a great time only because I was re-united with my childhood best friend. I had four beers last night and still woke-up with a massive hangover because my tolerance was so low from not drinking in months. I didn't plan to drink yesterday. I didn't want to admit to my friend that I have a problem with alcohol. I didn't drive, my friend drove us to and from the venue. I don't want to drink again because I learned today that all I was missing from drinking was pain, sickness, hangovers and drinker's remorse.

I have been going to AA meetings 5 times a week and will continue go to AA because I love the fellowship of AA. I just picked up a sponsor a few weeks ago and am working on step one. So in essence, my recovery hasn't even formally begun yet.

I was hitting the bottle hard last year because it has been very hard for me to find a job anywhere. I have two college degrees and I am willing to work almost anywhere. I was actually avoiding getting a crappy low-paying job last year because I was afraid I would spend every last dime of my money on booze on the weekends and end up killing myself. Even when I did get a crappy low-paying job, I couldn't hold the job very long because no one spoke English at the place. I was extremely isolated last year. Every year before last year, I had the institutions of work, school and solid friendships to keep me mentally healthy and happy. As a disillusioned unemployed college grad with no structure in his life, I became a full-time drinker doing anything I could to get my hands on booze (i.e. pawning in old car batteries and other items, stealing). I became a bar fly getting drunk on pocket change and credit cards. None of those fellow barflys and drunk alley cats were real friends.

I got my 2nd DUI last September. Until last night, I had not drank since then. The court ordered me to go to AA meetings three times a week for a year. As I stated before, I love AA because it has given me hope as well as the social life that I was searching for in dimly lit bars and park paths. I have made many genuine good friends in AA who I would not have met otherwise. I do feel terrible mentally and still a little bit physically from boozing last night. But I know I need to start really working the steps before I really begin to recover from my disease. Thanks to AA, I am happier than ever even though I am still unemployed and my financial future is still very uncertain. AA has made me fee like I can do anything if I truly commit to sobriety.

Has anyone else here slipped up in sobriety? How did you make a positive change from it?
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:15 PM
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Lot of times I was in meetings under the influence or really drunk. People treated me well dispite that. After 6 years of my better ideas I started doing the stuff they said worked for them.

One tip was to make a commitment to myself and my sobriety that I would talk with another member before I took my next drink. Another was to go to at least 3 meetings each week where my sponsor attended, at least one where I could talk about what I didn't want to talk about that week. Getting going on the steps made the difference in how I felt without a drink. Haven't drank since.
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:16 PM
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Sorry to hear re your slip. My advice is

Be objective don,t beat yourself up
Get back on track anyway you can
Review what happened and make a plan that would lead to a better outcome if the situation recurred
Think about ways you can maintain your dignity, sense of purpose and hope outside of a job/career situation
Remember recovery is a journey not a destination
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:18 PM
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I'm glad you're back with us stryfe

That 'not wanting to be seen to be an alcoholic' tripped me up more than once too - but it's weird I never worried about being seen falling down drunk...

I see it as a false premise now anyway - I can say no thanks I don't drink and not have to give someone my life story

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Old 01-14-2012, 04:51 PM
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Yes, just slipped after a month. This site has been so helpful in pointing out what I need to do and why I may have slipped. You'll be alright...I know I have to keep telling myself that too. Look at what you were doing and what you were not doing. It may help you understand what needs to be done to help make sure it doesn't happen again. Understand that I'm in the same exact boat as you and hopefully we can figure out why we make these choices and how to say no. Best wishes to you.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:03 PM
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Sometimes a stumble can prevent a fall.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:31 PM
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I dunno about your friends but mine have been completely understanding and supportive of my decision to quit drinking. Even the drinking ones. The truth is your friend may not have even cared or noticed that you weren't drinking. I think a lot of times what happens is that WE care so much about not drinking that we think EVERYONE ELSE cares about that same issue. Guess what? They usually don't.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:37 PM
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I decided to drink after 3 months. One night of it. I found AA and the relationships here to be a major buz kill! Lol
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:46 PM
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I've slipped up too many times to count.
I had to finally realize and accept that drinking was simply no longer an option.
No matter what happens, or whatever the reason, drinking is no longer an option.
Don't beat yourself up, but don't leave that door open to drink again.
Especially since you had a 'taste' last night. Accept it. Step one.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:50 PM
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Well, it sounds like you finally saw through the grand charade of addiction, and realized alcohol does nothing but get in the way of good times. If you never drink again, you'll look back at this as an important breakthrough. It doesn't matter where you've been; what matters is where you go.

And I have never—not even when I was just your typical drinker—thought less of someone because they didn't drink. I'm proud to be the guy ordering an ice tea at the bar. Badass!
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:38 PM
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I think you should meet with your sponsor and start working the steps a little faster. At the pace you are going, (so far 4 months and 80 some meetings and working on step 1) it will take you 4 years and 960 meetings to get through all 12 steps.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:45 PM
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I'm still on step 3 and rightly so... LOL. Since last May. I wrote step 4 but I'm just not ready. And I hope you know that just because you are on any particular step doesn't mean drinking is okay if you are an alcoholic. With that logic you'll go on a bender!
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:47 PM
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This is my third time getting sober in the past year. The only difference this time is that I am going to AA and have learned SO much about my disease that I didn't know before. I not only have my daily meetings to look forward to (and I really do look forward to them) but now I have someone holding me accountable (sponsor) and I'm learning that there is work to be done in order to get sober. I used to think I could get sober all on my own, but while that may work for the rare individual, it didn't work for me. I needed the accountability of a sponsor and a group, I needed to be somewhere EVERY day where I could receive support and encouragement, and I needed to be working a program. I am 15 days sober and am just now starting Step 1 and looking forward to doing the work. It's hard, no doubt about it, especially since my husband is an active alcoholic himself and alcohol is always in our house. I admit, I've caved a couple of times and taken a shot of his whiskey when he wasn't looking .. but the difference this time is that it tasted totally gross and I got no enjoyment from it AT ALL. But I'm human. Old habits die hard, and alcoholism "has your number" and it will call you over and over again until the day you die ... but that doesn't mean you have to answer. I see examples of "winners" every day at AA ... 5 years sober ... 15 years, 25 years, 30 years ... We will get there. It takes time and patience and working the steps. No one said it would be easy. We might trip on our own feet in the process sometimes but as long as we are willing to keep striving in the midst of weakness and adversity, we will get there. Never, ever give up. Think of your relapses as learning experiences. I did. And as awful as they were, they taught me SO much. That's what I'm carrying with me into my last journey into sobriety. And it WILL be my last. No desire at all to go back to the way I lived before, and now I know where I went wrong before. No drink feels as good as being sober does these days. Don't give up. You will get there too.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:20 PM
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"Has anyone else here slipped up in sobriety? How did you make a positive change from it?" yes i slipped many times trying to get sober and you have made a positive change .your talking about it. your not in the bar today so pat yourself on the back!!
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Old 07-22-2018, 06:50 PM
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Staying sober

Hi friends. I too slipped and fell. I finally decided to go to 30 day inpatient treatment facility. Alchole was killing my soul and my life. I'm now going on 4 months sober. For me that's nothing compared to 40 years of drinking. My mind is calm. I do sleep alot, my mind is healing my body. I have decided that if I can only have 2 drinks what the hell good is that! So i know that will never happen! so i dont kid myself. I decideed its Best just to accept. I dont want two drinks to send me back to all the hell living in a bottle. God has been there daily to remind me this is the devil trying to destroy me.it is hell when you have no control of yourself, your mind. "Makes me suicidal " i love waking up with a clear mind body and soul. God bless all who suffer. God is the only savoir to sanity and sobriety. I'm starting to love myself again and receive love. That worth more then any drink can give me. I choose life and God and sobriety.
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Old 07-22-2018, 07:26 PM
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Welcome HS! I slipped and fell too many times to count but finally made a clean break and have been sober over 8 yrs now.

I hope you'll use our support to strengthen your sobriety.
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Old 07-22-2018, 08:09 PM
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Welcome to SR HealingSoul

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Old 07-22-2018, 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Zebra1275 View Post
I think you should meet with your sponsor and start working the steps a little faster. At the pace you are going, (so far 4 months and 80 some meetings and working on step 1) it will take you 4 years and 960 meetings to get through all 12 steps.
Ain't this the truth! It takes about 3 hours, no more, with a good sponsor to get through the first three stesp and into the action. Add a week or two for step four, the its step five and into amends, where the promises of the program begin to bear fruit. It took me less than three months to get to this point, with a good sponsor, yet it was still probably dangerously slow.

The only rider I would add to Zebra's post would be - if you survive that long. A lot of us don't have that kind of time to waste.

If it is your sponsor and not you who has the brakes on, time to find a sponsor that understands alcoholism.
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Old 07-22-2018, 10:09 PM
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Glad you're back here and posting and being honest about your slip. Presumably you have contacted your sponsor and been honest with them as well. If not yet, please do it soon. They can help you though this.

We all slipped until we didn't. I don't suppose anyone here just got sober at the first inclination that we should stop. The thing is to learn from our slips and make sure that we adjust our plans so it can't happen again. With this experience I would say the learning is about....
Knowing what might constitute a difficult environment for you and only going there with good groundwork and a good escape plan
Developing confidence in your own self and who you are without the drink (this will come with sober time and for me,probably around step 8, but maybe thats different for different people). My sober self doesn't socialise in the same way as my old drinking self and never will. She listens. She thinks. She stays away from people who aren't kind, not out of fear, but out of choice. She is generally much quieter than the drinking BB. But I've learned that is okay. I am quietly walking to the beat of my own drum, and I think that's more worthwhile than my old gobshite self altering the percussion every few minutes to fit it to whoever I was with to please them and convince them that I was enough. I am enough. And so are you.
Speaking to my sponsor about an out of the usual event like this before going to it helps, and know now that excusing myself to make a quick call a couple of times in the evening is acceptable and a good idea. In those instances I check beforehand who will be able to take a quick call at that time. Doesn't have to be my sponsor or closest AA pals, it can be anyone in the fellowship.
Another thing I've learned that helps me is to just find somewhere quiet (bathroom usually) and close my eyes and imagine myself in my home group, who's there, and the physical room. My clan. Safety. It usually helps to restore peace.


Seeing as you haven't seen this guy for all that time, what made you think he'd care if you were drinking? The You he remembered probably didn't drink. And even if someone does expect us to drink, we owe it to noone to do so. It took me a while to stop feeling a bit substandard for not drinking and that I was kinda letting the side down by not. It takes time.

Anyway - you can move on from this by learning from it and choosing to take those lessons with you. That learning is precious.

Wishing you all the best for your continuing sobriety and recovery.
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Old 07-23-2018, 12:54 AM
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The original post here is from 2012 guys

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