Stryfe

I drank yesterday after 4 months of being sober. This was the longest I had been sober in about 5 years. I ran into my best friend from high school who is not an alcoholic. I had not seen him in years because he had moved away. We went to a party at a hipster-ish venue that was showcasing his artwork. I had a great time only because I was re-united with my childhood best friend. I had four beers last night and still woke-up with a massive hangover because my tolerance was so low from not drinking in months. I didn't plan to drink yesterday. I didn't want to admit to my friend that I have a problem with alcohol. I didn't drive, my friend drove us to and from the venue. I don't want to drink again because I learned today that all I was missing from drinking was pain, sickness, hangovers and drinker's remorse.

I have been going to AA meetings 5 times a week and will continue go to AA because I love the fellowship of AA. I just picked up a sponsor a few weeks ago and am working on step one. So in essence, my recovery hasn't even formally begun yet.

I was hitting the bottle hard last year because it has been very hard for me to find a job anywhere. I have two college degrees and I am willing to work almost anywhere. I was actually avoiding getting a crappy low-paying job last year because I was afraid I would spend every last dime of my money on booze on the weekends and end up killing myself. Even when I did get a crappy low-paying job, I couldn't hold the job very long because no one spoke English at the place. I was extremely isolated last year. Every year before last year, I had the institutions of work, school and solid friendships to keep me mentally healthy and happy. As a disillusioned unemployed college grad with no structure in his life, I became a full-time drinker doing anything I could to get my hands on booze (i.e. pawning in old car batteries and other items, stealing). I became a bar fly getting drunk on pocket change and credit cards. None of those fellow barflys and drunk alley cats were real friends.

I got my 2nd DUI last September. Until last night, I had not drank since then. The court ordered me to go to AA meetings three times a week for a year. As I stated before, I love AA because it has given me hope as well as the social life that I was searching for in dimly lit bars and park paths. I have made many genuine good friends in AA who I would not have met otherwise. I do feel terrible mentally and still a little bit physically from boozing last night. But I know I need to start really working the steps before I really begin to recover from my disease. Thanks to AA, I am happier than ever even though I am still unemployed and my financial future is still very uncertain. AA has made me fee like I can do anything if I truly commit to sobriety.

Has anyone else here slipped up in sobriety? How did you make a positive change from it?