CaiHong

Welcome SadRN and Beaver,

SadRN your post had tears running down my face.

So you see alcohol as a major problem and you want to be done with it. I think that you need a program to follow, to keep you sober and enjoy that sobriety.

Personally I follow an AA program, this and SR are keeping me sober. What I am beginning to realize that staying sober is total commitiment and working my program.

Coming up to 6 months sober and I can honestly say that very real changes are going on in me and in my life and how I handle life now.

What I am trying to say that a sober life has great rewards but you need a support program. You have tried many times to stay sober and failed, this time I believe you can succeed if you find the program that suits you and follow it.

All the best to both of you
CaiHong

Anna

Welcome,

I used to hide my drinking too, at least as much as I could. It was so humiliating to be caught and found out. It truly damaged my spirit. But, even that wasn't enough to convince me to stop drinking.

I'm glad you found us and that you have decided to live a sober life.

beaver

Thanks Sad RN for the positive energy. Its 8:30 PM and I have not had a drink and do not intend to. I am proud of you for taking the step of making a counselor appointment and getting some outside help. Kudos to you! Let's take it day by day..together!! Any ideas on how to get through the holidays and not drinking while everyone else is??? Stay strong!

1undone

Thank you for posting! And welcome home! . I really feel for you, we all have our bottoms (okay that just made me smirk) and they hurt all the same. You are not alone here at all. Congrats on the 3 days and keep us posted on your progress!

beaver

Day 5 and feeling stong...now. I had a very hard time yesterday afternoon as the cravings hit and they hit hard. Thank goodness I did not get the opportunity to go out and buy some alcohol as family was over! I do agree that when the craving hits, it hits strong but as in my case as time went by so did the cravings. Let's make it another day!

timetochange

SadRN, Reading your post was like reading a portion of my own life, its almost eerie. Im the same age, and your story with your husband sounds so much like my story- after bad marriage with an alcoholic, meeting an amazing man, he realizes you drink too much, you slow down/stop, then hide, get caught, stop again, hide..the whole cycle. After 3 years of being apart and me rationalizing that he didn't leave because of my drinking (because that would mean a-it was my fault and b-I have a drinking problem and seriously need to stop), I am admitting that I have a problem and seriously am committed to never drinking again and changing myself and my life. Not for him, but for me. Doing it for someone else will never, ever work. He has left the door open a crack for us, I know he loves me and if that's what is meant to be, then it will be. My point is, you are fortunate that your husband is still sticking by you, but a person can only take so much, even with all the love in the world. Do what you need to do before it gets to that point, for you first, and for him.
So even though it's hard right now and you are feeling so much guilt and shame, it's the past, and you need to keep it there. Try to think positive and be grateful that your situation isn't even worse (because it really could be) and just think of how freeing it will be to not have to worry about hiding or even thinking about alcohol again. You can do it!