LookingForNewMe

Hi all,

I got sober in June last year and after a very tough few first months I settled into being sober and managed it for just over 10 months. Out of boredom and being so distant from my addiction that I couldn't remember what it felt like to be drunk, I stupidly decided to drink again in April. Just once. A couple of weeks later, I drank 3 days in a row. A few more weeks passed and I had a health-scare unrelated to drinking and it freaked me out. Ever since, I have done 2-5 day binges most weeks. I came off the last one yesterday and it was the hardest quitting I have ever experienced. I have no idea how I managed to resist temptation to drink "just one more day". But of course, one can only quit in the present and not the future.

I want my sobriety back. I liked it. I didn't use it well, but that is another story.

I did frequent this forum last year but drifted away until recovery was no longer part of my life, but I am back now. I know I need a support group to stay sober and I hope you guys can be it -- as long as I remember to keep coming back.

I know now I need to do the following things differently:

1. Keep recovery in my life so I can get better and not forget that I am an alcoholic
2. Take better care of myself and not try to bury myself in work and use that to hide myself from life
3. Be brave and accept that I need to change some of the comforts in my life because they aren't working for me

Today has been really tough but I hope I know from last time what to expect. It will be one-day-at-a-time for me. I know there isn't any quick cure. I would be lying if I said that I am really enthusiastic about starting on this journey again. Right now I am down on myself and I still have some anxiety from sobering up. But I know this is the path and while my emotions may not be certain of it, my brain knows fully well that it is the right one. Now I just need to align the two. LOL.

It is both scary and great to be back. I read posts yesterday while I was in that dark dark place and it was comforting reading of fellow souls going through the same thing as me. You guys may not know it, but you helped me.


Thank you and I wish you all the best in your own journeys towards a happier life!

ajangel

Welcome back. Glad you are here. Have you considered doing a program like AA or SMART. AA is really helping me this time. Something to consider.

SDSurfn

Welcome! Glad you made it back. 10 months is very impressive. congrats on that!

-SD

Paddyb

WELCOME BUD

I to started again yesterday, you know you can do it as you done it before, most i ever had was 30 days and thats because i was in hospital with a brain bleed. Good luck

MycoolFitz

Welcome back. I too was here than I wasn't. I started to say it was a very sobering experience but I'll change that to humbling. Sometimes it takes some of us to hear the door bell ringing several times before we get around to opening it. My best to you in your fresh committment and efforts. The dis-ease may not go away but with care and concern we can put it in life long remission.

Threshold

Welcome back, thanks for sharing your story...it saves me from having to type out mine...again. because mine is so like yours.

I wouldn't play roulette again with my life, but I can say that my last relapse was a real wake up call.

I live in a place that has no meetings, so I come here (and one other group I belong to) online daily to keep me grounded in recovery. It's very important to me to stay connected, read people's stories and experiences and share my own.

An addict alone is in dangerous company. Thanks for being here when I come to check in.

Anna

Welcome back!

I'm glad you are here and working on your recovery again.

I think that support of some kind is really important for recovery, and SR is that support for me. I hope you keep reading and posting.

catallus

Yeah, welcome back. It can be difficult, not everybody makes it back from that dark, dark place...

And try not to beat yourself up over this relapse - it happens. Unfortunately, for most people (myself included) relapse is a part of recovery. I tried to learn from it and do better next time; and ultimately I did.

It was what I did after my relapse that was important. I know I have another drunk in me, but I don't know if I have another recovery.

Just keep working at it and build a good support network.

TenYearsGone

Welcome back, and congratulations on being sober 10 months! I think a lot of people relapse, I know my husband did a few times. Glad you came back here for support. Good for you recommitting to sobriety!

NoFireWater

I'm also impressed by 10 months. Remember...“It's not how many times you fall that matters, it's how many times you get back up.” By coming back here you're showing that you feel you have a place here and not just in a drinking environment.

Shoei

Hi,

I got sober June 2010 as well. Ten months is a great achievement and it is not certainly wasted time. I relate to what you were saying about needing to come back here regularly, I need to as well. I haven't been around for a month or so (not daily anyway) and today reading threads really enforced the fact that we can not afford to be complacent. If you are looking for some more support why not try the June 2010 group thread on the Newcomers Support Thread section? Being sober since June 2010 is not a requirement to join and they are a very friendly bunch.

Zebra1275

Welcome back.

I've found that maintaining sobriety requires me to work at it everyday. It's a "one day at a time" thing.