SoberJennie - 30 Days Today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
SoberJennie - 30 Days Today
Well... I just remembered I have 30 days today. I'm glad I found you all here at SR. Meeting and making new online friends and reading posts daily has kept me busy for the past 30 days.
I haven't struggled since I decided to quit on June 28th. I decided on permanent abstinence for myself and I'm 100% secure in that. Under no circumstance will I ever drink, no exceptions... no changing my mind about it. Deciding and knowing this has brought me peace over my past alcohol problem. I do feel that I've recovered from my past alcoholism. If I died today I'd die sober and recovered.
Just the past few days have brought on some delayed grief over my mother's alcohol/drug related likely suicide (she had a history of overdosing, so her death was ruled a suicide). It seems real life is happening now and I have no choice but to deal with it head on... there's a reassurance in knowing this. No more hiding or avoiding.
I know that drinking alcohol at any point in time in the future for me will be a wrong choice. It would mean I've decided not to live in reality, not to progress and grow... and I don't want to go backwards. I don't want to shorten what life I have left... even if life isn't as great as I thought it would be. I must have had some high hopes in life when I was younger, cause so far it's been a let-down
But... I'd rather be let down than not have any more life left.
So for me, to drink is to die. It's just not an option. I'm selfish with what time I might have left... people seem to be dropping like flies all around me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll cheer up... it's my birthday. I turn 35.
I just want to thank everyone here who befriended me and left me messages on my wall, pm'ed me, emails, etc. We all help one another grow if we're open to it.
I haven't struggled since I decided to quit on June 28th. I decided on permanent abstinence for myself and I'm 100% secure in that. Under no circumstance will I ever drink, no exceptions... no changing my mind about it. Deciding and knowing this has brought me peace over my past alcohol problem. I do feel that I've recovered from my past alcoholism. If I died today I'd die sober and recovered.
Just the past few days have brought on some delayed grief over my mother's alcohol/drug related likely suicide (she had a history of overdosing, so her death was ruled a suicide). It seems real life is happening now and I have no choice but to deal with it head on... there's a reassurance in knowing this. No more hiding or avoiding.
I know that drinking alcohol at any point in time in the future for me will be a wrong choice. It would mean I've decided not to live in reality, not to progress and grow... and I don't want to go backwards. I don't want to shorten what life I have left... even if life isn't as great as I thought it would be. I must have had some high hopes in life when I was younger, cause so far it's been a let-down
But... I'd rather be let down than not have any more life left. So for me, to drink is to die. It's just not an option. I'm selfish with what time I might have left... people seem to be dropping like flies all around me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll cheer up... it's my birthday. I turn 35.
I just want to thank everyone here who befriended me and left me messages on my wall, pm'ed me, emails, etc. We all help one another grow if we're open to it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Congratulations, Jennie!! Not only on 30 days, but with dealing with some of the painful things that have cropped up for you. You are doing great, missus!! I love reading your posts, and SR has been an even more interesting place for me since you joined.
Also, Happy Birthday for tomorrow, I can't think of a better gift to give yourself than sobriety and clarity. It will definitely be one to remember
Also, Happy Birthday for tomorrow, I can't think of a better gift to give yourself than sobriety and clarity. It will definitely be one to remember
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 522
Big congratulations Jennie! I'm Day 18 and can't wait to follow you through to 30!
I really admire your resolve and determination. It's tough in the early days of sobriety, but I am going to trust the old timers here who have assured me it gets better.
-SD
P.S. Happy Birthday!
7
I really admire your resolve and determination. It's tough in the early days of sobriety, but I am going to trust the old timers here who have assured me it gets better.
-SD
P.S. Happy Birthday!
7
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Well happy 30 days and 35th birthday. Yea life isn't all peaches and cream just because we're sober and recovering--it isn't for anyone addicted or not. It has its ups and downs and I think a lot has to do with our attitude and outlook. As active drinkers we really didn't have to deal with much reality so part of recovering is learning or relearning life coping skills. I can't even describe the difference between my life now and before. Like awakening from a bad dream I didn't know was so bad till I awoke. Keep on keeping on SJ, it just becomes more and more real, clearer and cleaner.
On my way....
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Awesome post, congratulations on 30 days!!! I hope things get easier for you in terms of what you're dealing with. Glad that you're here, I look for your posts, you have so much wisdom to give, especially being in such early sobriety. Keep on keeping on sista!!
Happy early b'day. Enjoy the gift that you're giving yourself, sobriety.
Happy early b'day. Enjoy the gift that you're giving yourself, sobriety.
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
From your fellow Alabamian: Happy Birthday and congratulations on thirty days, Jennie. I also admire your determination and the steps you've taken to make changes in your life. Even if everything isn't a bagful of smiling puppies and sunshine, at least it's real, right?
--Fenris.
--Fenris.
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
Thirty days is awesome! Congrats! Keep up the good work. Remember to keep getting help when you want or need it. Keep learning. I still am. My sobriety date is Nov. 27, 1988.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hey SJ - congratulations on 30!!!
Your post was so inspiring - thank you for that! I'm glad you're sharing your journey with us. I always get something from your posts.
Also, Happy Birthday!!
I hope you treat yourself tomorrow. I think part of this process is learning to love ourselves.
Keep up the good work!
Your post was so inspiring - thank you for that! I'm glad you're sharing your journey with us. I always get something from your posts.
Also, Happy Birthday!!
I hope you treat yourself tomorrow. I think part of this process is learning to love ourselves. Keep up the good work!
to SR.
Englishrose70
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 190
When you wake up in the morning, you are going to feel so amazing, the most perfect gift for your 35th, clear head, clean body and a zest for life - thats priceless.
Well done Jenny on 30 days, you are a great member who gives and gives.
Have a wonderful day and eat lots of naughty cake! x
Well done Jenny on 30 days, you are a great member who gives and gives.
Have a wonderful day and eat lots of naughty cake! x
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