Cerberus

When I have thought about quitting drinking alcohol forever in the past it has always seemed so very scary to think about actually doing it. I am 16 days in and it certainly doesn't feel scary now, but I can't quite put my finger on what part of it I thought was scary - is it not being able to escape? Having to deal with emotions? Fear of not having fun or not being fun? Is it just a mind trip? What's the scoop here?

desire2befree

I believe it's all of the above. It is a scary thing to think about. "How is life going to be fun now?" "What?! I have to deal with REAL emotions?" "How am I going to cope?" At least, this is the way I felt just yesterday. I wish you well in your recovery Cerberus. I'm only 1 day in, but I told myself that I'm not going to let my fear get in the way. I have God on my side. Keep up the good work!

Cerberus

Thanks, desire. It's good to know it's not just me! Congrats on making the decision to quit and best of luck for day 2 and beyond!

sark

What scared me was that I would have to face me emotions and have no escape. For the past two weeks and have stopped then started up again and so on. I am determined though to push through and face what I need too.

I am happy for you. It is not an easy road but your doing it.

Soberpotamus

Maybe not focus on the "forever" part... I like to look at quitting drinking as my hope for a "normal" life now... a chance to do the things I haven't yet done, that alcohol prevented... or will prevent if I continue to drink.

MycoolFitz

Maybe like jumping off a cliff blind folded to discover it was only a curb.

GoodbyeJose

I've described the idea of quitting drinking to an alcoholic as akin to telling a normal person they can no longer breathe oxygen.

It seems so impossible, and part of that is just the physical addiction.

Englishrose70

Yes and yes again to all of the above but I also think it is about breaking a habit that has become such an intrinsic part of your self identity and how you fill your time, change of routine.

Booze impacts and invades every aspect of your life and your being, so when you quit it is bound to impact every aspect of your life and your being and that is in itself pretty scary.

Fitz I love that, take the leap only to find its a curb and not a cliff

My thoughts anyway

Fenris

The "forever" part messed with me too -- "WHAT??? I can NEVER drink again??" Until it was pointed out to me how ridiculous I was being refusing to get sober for today because it would screw up my plans for New Years. or a camping trip next summer, or...

I was also kinda afraid of having to deal with my emotions. Mostly I've found that I'm a lot more emotionally "level" sober than I was drinking (not so prone to fits of rage or depression, etc.), but there have been a few times when I've felt a little overwhelmed (and I relapsed once because of that...and made everything a thousand times worse). Having people to talk to helps.

--Fenris.

TacoDude

Many good points above, but not unlike an unhealthy relationship you need to let go of even though you know it's destructive, letting go creates a "void" in your life, not to mention the grief and loss associated with that void.

Cerberus

This! Exactly. Great imagery, Fitz

Frisky

For me it's scary because I'm frightened of withdrawals. I'm scared I'm going to have seizures and die. But then continuing drinking is going to cause me to have seizures and die anyway so what the hey!

Good luck with your continuing sobriety Cerberus. The guys here are amazing and I know they will help you through. In one day's reading here I've gone from fooling myself to knowing I have to quit. Bless 'em xx

newby1961

OMG of couse it is you are saying goodbye to your best friend, lover, and companion.

For me and its been awhile since I stopped but in any event I started drinking when I was 13 and I stayed loaded on something till I was in my 40's so you can do the math

Something was a part of my daily life and not just the substance it was a way of life, the lifestyle of it all had to be mourned too.

I would be worried about any of you if you weren't scared.

Just try to take it one day at a time or just a minute at a time. Its worth it..Peace

Soberpotamus

Nice Fitz... I'd love for it to be only a curb I guess since I've jumped off the side, I've been cringing... waiting for this huge awful crash. And so far, nothing awful has happened. Really, it's been nothing but positive. I'm not bouncing off walls doing cartwheels... but it's been nothing but a good experience since I quit drinking 20 days ago. Every bump along the way was just a tiny little thing in retrospect...

ceneri

Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. The biggest of all & root of all anxiety...fear that I can't handle it. Of course all are false, but old thought habits are hard to break.
- peace

BunnyLoves

It is ALL the reasons you just stated, Cerberus!!!! That is EXACTLY what did and still does scare the crap out of me of being sober. Also, when sober I have to think of what a lousy mom/wife/sister/friend I have been the past few yrs, and truth HURTS, but I know it can also help heal.

Reset

The permanence of the situation scared me. I'm the sort of person who never says never.

And the thought of navigating social situations was also scary.


Now that I'm on the other side though, those fears seem silly.

instant

I think it is part of the biology of addiction. Once you are sober and a few weeks down the track (I am day66) it will all seem so illogical when you look back.

BodhiTree

Cerberus,

I can totally relate. I was afraid of everything about quitting but I was especially afraid to give up my primary coping mechanism. What I have discovered so far is that the drinking was increasing my need for an outside coping mechanism and keeping me from accessing resources inside myself. My thinking was completely backward.

But yeah there is still a lot I'm scared of.

Cerberus

I sure hope so! looking forward to feeling illogical