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Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Tuesday. Welcome to our community! This place has been a godsend to me.
I didn't realize how far I had fallen until all of a sudden, I was afraid I would never be able to climb back out. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol. But that fear turned out to be an illusion—just the addiction trying to scare me so I wouldn't try. Life is sooooo much better without alcohol.
You can do it, you really can.
I didn't realize how far I had fallen until all of a sudden, I was afraid I would never be able to climb back out. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol. But that fear turned out to be an illusion—just the addiction trying to scare me so I wouldn't try. Life is sooooo much better without alcohol.
You can do it, you really can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Day 2
Day 2. WOW. I feel like crap, but a bit better. I am very emotional today. Cannot stop crying. I am so thankful for a community like this. I dont know where I would be without it.
I have been thinking a lot today about the stupid, self-destructive things I have done. Most, I cannot remember. I am having trouble dealing with my emotions and hear the familiar voice calling my name. I feel very impulsive today. I am seeking out help- something I have not done before and am hopeful.
I have been thinking a lot today about the stupid, self-destructive things I have done. Most, I cannot remember. I am having trouble dealing with my emotions and hear the familiar voice calling my name. I feel very impulsive today. I am seeking out help- something I have not done before and am hopeful.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: On the road to recovery
Posts: 78
I know it's easier said than done but try not to dwell on the past too much, you can't change what has happened, you can only try to make sure it doesn't happen again.
You have made a start and day two is good going - you may have read elsewhere on SR but the first week is the hardest, I went through all sorts of emotions including anger, irritability, extreme tiredness and a general dying want to have a drink.
To avoid the temptation, I busied myself, I annoyed the life out of my wife because I went round putting things away and cleaning rooms - slightly crazy, like nesting - must have been fun for her to watch
Movies and books are good too, and fresh air!
You are doing great, keep going.
You have made a start and day two is good going - you may have read elsewhere on SR but the first week is the hardest, I went through all sorts of emotions including anger, irritability, extreme tiredness and a general dying want to have a drink.
To avoid the temptation, I busied myself, I annoyed the life out of my wife because I went round putting things away and cleaning rooms - slightly crazy, like nesting - must have been fun for her to watch
Movies and books are good too, and fresh air!
You are doing great, keep going.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Tues-
Yes, this is when it gets hard.
Sure, not drinking can be done, but how does one stay stopped?
I had the obession removed by doing all 12 steps of AA, not to mention the benefits of the wonderful fellowship within.
In short, I had to change who I was or the same me will drink again, and again, and again.
Maybe this is true with you too?
Kjell~
Yes, this is when it gets hard.
Sure, not drinking can be done, but how does one stay stopped?
I had the obession removed by doing all 12 steps of AA, not to mention the benefits of the wonderful fellowship within.
In short, I had to change who I was or the same me will drink again, and again, and again.
Maybe this is true with you too?
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Boston,Ma
Posts: 50
Day 119 for me
Tuesday,
I'm sure day 119 seems along way away for you but let me tell you how fast it goes by and the good things that happen when we choose to live sober and take advantage of the help all around us.
Like you I was lost and miserable. I lost my job and my days were filled with regret and worrying about who knew,what did I do, and is today the day I get arrested or worse hurt someone. I couldn't remember what I did or said yesterday and my life was complete misery. I tried to quit/control my way and failed everytime.
When I finally got the guts to walk into an AA meeting, I was met with open arms and my healing could begin, a huge weight was lifted. We are not alone. Many great people have this disease and not only survive but thrive. Their goal is to help new people like me and you as that is how they stay healthy.That's what I choose to do.
Although I still have a long way to go my wife and daughter are extremely supportive and proud. I have regained the person I was meant to be and the future without alcohol is a new chance at the life God wants for me. He wants more for you too. Please take that hard first step, the ones that follow get easier and will bring more joy you can comprehend.
Best of luck-
SH
I'm sure day 119 seems along way away for you but let me tell you how fast it goes by and the good things that happen when we choose to live sober and take advantage of the help all around us.
Like you I was lost and miserable. I lost my job and my days were filled with regret and worrying about who knew,what did I do, and is today the day I get arrested or worse hurt someone. I couldn't remember what I did or said yesterday and my life was complete misery. I tried to quit/control my way and failed everytime.
When I finally got the guts to walk into an AA meeting, I was met with open arms and my healing could begin, a huge weight was lifted. We are not alone. Many great people have this disease and not only survive but thrive. Their goal is to help new people like me and you as that is how they stay healthy.That's what I choose to do.
Although I still have a long way to go my wife and daughter are extremely supportive and proud. I have regained the person I was meant to be and the future without alcohol is a new chance at the life God wants for me. He wants more for you too. Please take that hard first step, the ones that follow get easier and will bring more joy you can comprehend.
Best of luck-
SH
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,598
Seeking out help before anything else is definitely the way to go Tuesday
A lot of us deal with regrets - I think the best way to do is to live your life right today - the past is done - we can't change a second as much as we'd like to...but today is before us...and we can make a difference there.
The more time I've spent trying my best to live the life I know I'm capable of, the less my old life worries me
D
A lot of us deal with regrets - I think the best way to do is to live your life right today - the past is done - we can't change a second as much as we'd like to...but today is before us...and we can make a difference there.
The more time I've spent trying my best to live the life I know I'm capable of, the less my old life worries me
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Thank you for the words of support. I am struggling desperately tonight. I have a lot of doubt. I am lost in my own mind- or so it feels. I am trying to distract myself but I do not trust myself... what a wicked hold this stuff has on me. I am ever thankful for your non-judgemental words and wisdom. I know this is a place for support, but I have never received as much support in the past 2 days in my entire life. Sad.
Its time for bed
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Undisclosed Location
Posts: 343
Tues,
Early sobriety is a buffet of emotions... to put it mildly. I really do not envy where you are right now. I remember how it was... all I have to offer in this difficult time for you is to trust sobriety. No matter how loud the screams for alcohol are, just trust that sobriety WILL always be better. I know that is hard to feel sometimes.
I would not trade what I have for a bottle. I would rather drop dead than to live bottle to bottle to bottle. Stick around!!
Early sobriety is a buffet of emotions... to put it mildly. I really do not envy where you are right now. I remember how it was... all I have to offer in this difficult time for you is to trust sobriety. No matter how loud the screams for alcohol are, just trust that sobriety WILL always be better. I know that is hard to feel sometimes.
I would not trade what I have for a bottle. I would rather drop dead than to live bottle to bottle to bottle. Stick around!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome to SR Tuesday,
Today, I can hardly remember my first few days coming here, it was such a fog.
I ended up going to the library to get online and read , plus I had online access at work. SR has been a real life-saver these past 14 months.
Finally got the concept of not drinking, "no matter what" ...
I hope you'll do " whatever it takes " ...it's so worth it. We do this together.
Hang in there tonight , .one day at a time
Today, I can hardly remember my first few days coming here, it was such a fog.
I ended up going to the library to get online and read , plus I had online access at work. SR has been a real life-saver these past 14 months.
Finally got the concept of not drinking, "no matter what" ...
I hope you'll do " whatever it takes " ...it's so worth it. We do this together.
Hang in there tonight , .one day at a time
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hi Tuesday, Welcome...to a group I'm sure you hoped you never would be part of...addicts, the good news is we and now YOU can count ourselves among the recovering addicts, even those of us who may not have got it quite straight yet, we're here, focusing on recovery.
I really knew what you were talking about when you said 'how did this happen?"
I asked myself the same thing, but that kept me, as another poster mentioned, focused on the past. When I accepted that it HAD happened, and moved on to 'what am I going to do about it?" I had a chance at making things different.
The first days of sobriety are hard, because we are clueless, and without the drinks/drugs...we become painfully aware of just how clueless we are. This place was a life saver to me those first fumbling weeks. I needed something to tell me what to do, now that I knew about a few things I was NOT going to do, and coming here, reading, asking questions and checking out suggested resources kept me busy on recovery.
I don't know if I ever would have made it to my first meeting if it wasn't for this place, these people and the honesty and encouragement they gave me. I don't know if I ever would have found the literature that has shone a light on my recovery path, if I hadn't found the people here who shared their tools with me.
Stick around, good things happen.
I really knew what you were talking about when you said 'how did this happen?"
I asked myself the same thing, but that kept me, as another poster mentioned, focused on the past. When I accepted that it HAD happened, and moved on to 'what am I going to do about it?" I had a chance at making things different.
The first days of sobriety are hard, because we are clueless, and without the drinks/drugs...we become painfully aware of just how clueless we are. This place was a life saver to me those first fumbling weeks. I needed something to tell me what to do, now that I knew about a few things I was NOT going to do, and coming here, reading, asking questions and checking out suggested resources kept me busy on recovery.
I don't know if I ever would have made it to my first meeting if it wasn't for this place, these people and the honesty and encouragement they gave me. I don't know if I ever would have found the literature that has shone a light on my recovery path, if I hadn't found the people here who shared their tools with me.
Stick around, good things happen.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Thank you for the words of support. It is a fog... that's the best way to explain it. I feel very depressed and agitated sometimes.. will these feelings fade (I would not even know if I were depressed or not- have not been sober long enough in the past to find out). I am so thankful for everyone here at SR.
I am starting to feel more emotions about things in the past and things that I have done that I am very ashamed of. I worry that these feelings are pushing me backwards. Any suggestions to help with this?? Greatly appreciated.
I am starting to feel more emotions about things in the past and things that I have done that I am very ashamed of. I worry that these feelings are pushing me backwards. Any suggestions to help with this?? Greatly appreciated.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Tuesday24 
I am starting to feel more emotions about things in the past and things that I have done that I am very ashamed of. I worry that these feelings are pushing me backwards. Any suggestions to help with this?? Greatly appreciated.
Yes, do something, anything, everything different.
Take action. Move forward.
I'm an AA'er, but there are also other options out there.
I simply couldn't out-think my alcholism. I had to take action.
Kjell~
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