Anna

Please get the help you need.

Bicycle

My post wasn't meant to be glib, but it does come off that way. It's time I end my whining in this thread. I will report in the future if there is any good news.

Latte

I contacted my health insurance to block my drug of choice without a special note from the prescribing physician (basically this lets the insurance inform the Dr. that I am an addict-whch makes it so that I have to inform every Dr. that I am an addict). I've never tried to get around it.

That being said, I'm glad you are here. You have been given some wonderful advice.

Bicycle

Latte would you mind elaborating a little bit on how this process works. Does it work say if your drug is pretty affordable?

Hevyn

Bicycle - I don't know about this drug, so can't offer any practical advice, but please don't let this take you down. You obviously have much to offer, and so many things yet to experience - you can have a whole new life without falling back on that poison. You can be free again.

Latte

I contacted the part of my health insurance that deals in prescriptions (tracking etc.) and asked them to deny any controlled substance medications. I guess I'm not the first person either. There is a way around it, but like I said, only if I have informed the treating physician of my addiction issues and then the physician contacts the insurance to get the approval. I only use one pharmacy and I talked to them when we first moved here too (we're military). One other point-my state just started a controlled substance monitoring program and I don't want my name on that.

I guess if I wanted to get around it I could, but I don't. It's a PITA (I did need an oral surgeon to jump through the hoops once). I like the set up. I feel safe.

I've been clean and sober for 5 years.

CherryD

Adderall is my DOC too and it causes quite the mess. I was going through cycles like you were of doing mass quantities and then deciding to get rid of them all. And I get that same suicidal come down.

I've got about a week off of it too. I did go to inpatient detox though. My MIL was the one who got that process started after my husband told her everything that was going on. So maybe you can reach out to your wife and tell her that you want to go to detox. She might be able to help you search for a place.

Detox was really helpful for me mainly just because it got my head clear. I was on other things along with the adderall. But the adderall was the worst for me to come down from and it helped to have people there for me during that time. Also I know with me what makes getting off of it harder is that I've got valid prescriptions. So sucking it up and taking with those doctors about the problem, so they stop giving me that prescription has made the difference. I don't have access to it anymore so it's easier for me to stay away.

selfsabotage

I have ADD too, legit prescription. I get twice the amount I actually need so I can abuse it but still have enough to medicate myself daily. I'm trying to get to the bottom of why I abuse my Ritalin.

Dee74

welcome to SR selfsabotage

I think the bottom line for any addiction is it makes us feel good - at least in the beginning?

D