Hey I'm a noob again ;) :(
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Very sorry for that news, I have my time sober, wouldn't have it any other way, but know if pushed to an extreme, there's no counting on my own reaction so no judging here. Prayers for you and your family at this time.
p.s. you know the score after 15 years, of course nothing is going to remove this pain, but I hope you can find some beneficial support and a 'safety net' in the situation. There is more awareness of grief these days, and good services/support out there.
p.s. you know the score after 15 years, of course nothing is going to remove this pain, but I hope you can find some beneficial support and a 'safety net' in the situation. There is more awareness of grief these days, and good services/support out there.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Ron, I'm really glad you came right back here. I've always enjoyed your posts, and have been blown away by the support you've shown newcomers. You've struck me as a shining example of how someone can emerge from addiction as a truly happy, compassionate person.
I'm very, very sorry to hear about your wife. It's comforting to realize that she and everyone else in your family has had your love and sobriety to lean on these past 15 years, and that they can count on you once again in this hardest of times.
I'm very, very sorry to hear about your wife. It's comforting to realize that she and everyone else in your family has had your love and sobriety to lean on these past 15 years, and that they can count on you once again in this hardest of times.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Ron, you have been a shining light on here for me...your inner peace, calmness, steadiness, wisdom, empathy, and pure belief in yourself. This is what's going to get you through this terrible news, and bring peace and comfort to your dear wife. I am so sorry.
No apologies to make as far as I'm concerned, we are all human. I can't possibly say how I would deal with it...maybe drink - yes - I don't know. Sending hugs, prayers and strength to you, your wife and your whole family. xxxx
No apologies to make as far as I'm concerned, we are all human. I can't possibly say how I would deal with it...maybe drink - yes - I don't know. Sending hugs, prayers and strength to you, your wife and your whole family. xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
(((Ronf))))
Even the most seasoned Sea Captain runs the risk of encountering "The Perfect Storm". It is the bane of human existence, and we recovering alcoholics are certainly not immune to life's harsh realities. The sad news of your wife's illness is the equivalent of a sucker punch.
Forgive yourself the relapse - and draw on the fifteen years you have.
I have lost loved ones to cancer while under the cloud of the bottle; and was really not much help to them when they needed me the most. It was all about me and my pain. I have also lost another loved one to cancer during sobriety, and while difficult, I can stand today and say I was truly there with them; in mind, body and soul, and that I have no regrets in my behavior in their time of need. It was all about them.
Prayers to you, your wife and your family during this difficult time.
Even the most seasoned Sea Captain runs the risk of encountering "The Perfect Storm". It is the bane of human existence, and we recovering alcoholics are certainly not immune to life's harsh realities. The sad news of your wife's illness is the equivalent of a sucker punch.
Forgive yourself the relapse - and draw on the fifteen years you have.
I have lost loved ones to cancer while under the cloud of the bottle; and was really not much help to them when they needed me the most. It was all about me and my pain. I have also lost another loved one to cancer during sobriety, and while difficult, I can stand today and say I was truly there with them; in mind, body and soul, and that I have no regrets in my behavior in their time of need. It was all about them.
Prayers to you, your wife and your family during this difficult time.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Like everyone else, I just hurt for you right now and send my thoughts and prayers for you and your wife. I can only imagine how difficult this must be.
None of us knows how we would react in a similar situation - we can only work our recovery to the best of our ability and take on life one day at a time. I'm just so glad that you have chosen sobriety once again even while your world has been turned upside down. Thank you for being here and being an example and inspiration for all of us.
None of us knows how we would react in a similar situation - we can only work our recovery to the best of our ability and take on life one day at a time. I'm just so glad that you have chosen sobriety once again even while your world has been turned upside down. Thank you for being here and being an example and inspiration for all of us.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
God bless you and your family, Ron. And yes, by Gosh, you are HUMAN. You remain an outstanding example of sobriety, regardless of whether or not you slipped. Your wisdom and insight is still valuable, if not even more valuable, as far as I am concerned. I am so, so sorry about your wife.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I am desperately sorry for your sadness and I too have appreciated your support in my early struggle between alcohol and sobriety. I think disappearing into alcohol given what you have been told is a perfectly reasonable thing to do What counts is what you do now.
I have thought about this many times and I hope you can see the spirit in which I say this must now be your finest hour. This is it. This is where you help this woman do what we all must do. And you need to be there to hold her hand--with all your faculties in place. I've been married a long, long time (28 years) and I know this is coming. It's what it all adds up to.
So listen to her, listen to the doctors, do what you can and must as her husband.
And let us help you if you can.
Best wishes to you both in this next phase of your marriage.
I have thought about this many times and I hope you can see the spirit in which I say this must now be your finest hour. This is it. This is where you help this woman do what we all must do. And you need to be there to hold her hand--with all your faculties in place. I've been married a long, long time (28 years) and I know this is coming. It's what it all adds up to.
So listen to her, listen to the doctors, do what you can and must as her husband.
And let us help you if you can.
Best wishes to you both in this next phase of your marriage.
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