My life has gotten a lot better since being sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
My life has gotten a lot better since being sober
Ok, so 145 days ago I was miserable. And when I say miserable, I mean literally, hopelessly miserable. I was drinking tremendous amounts of booze, taking xanax to quite the hangover, and pot to quiet the xanax. I was working a job I didn't like, fighting with my wife constantly, feeling like a failure as a father, and had 1 friend. The highlight of my day was the 20 or 30 minutes of relief I got from drinking. The problem was the 20 to 30 minutes were always followed by another 4 hours of a drunken mess.
145 days ago I made a decision (like I had so many times). I was at the point where something had to change. I had no idea what was in store. I went to an AA meeting on December 3, 2010 and got active. I have had TREMENDOUS struggles not drinking. There have been times when it took every single tool I had, you guys had, AA had, and my HP had just to stop me from turning to my "trusty" friend alcohol. The good news is I haven't drank. Day in, day out I just don't drink. Here's what's happened.
I have found a way to actually like who I am.
Today I don't want your shirt, or your job, or your house, or your life. Mine is just fine thanks. I love my wife so much more today than I did. All of the fights we had I can clearly see how I was in the wrong the majority of the time.
Today, I see how big of a job I really have being a father. I always wanted to be good dad 100% of the time, but in truth - I was only able to give about 15%. That caused a lot of heartache for me because I was never able to be who I wanted to be with alcoholism dragging me down and I knew it.
Today, I have many friends that I do a ton of stuff with. Play cards, play golf, go to meetings, go to concerts, etc... I simply didn't have this when I was drinking.
Today, I have a job that I honestly wouldn't have dreamed of when drinking. The interview process was 2 months long. I had 6 interviews and met with 10 different people. Even after all of that, I still got the job. When I was drinking I was so scared that people might find out "who I really was". Today, I simply don't live with that fear.
Basically, my life has completely changed. It has taken me places that I never dreamed of and I'm not even 5 months sober. I am so incredibly grateful.
With all of these good things that have happened, the best thing of all is - I DON'T HATE MYSELF ANYMORE. Remember living that way??? Waking up and looking at yourself in the mirror and not liking at all what you see. When I was drinking, the shame, the guilt, the self loathing, etc... just made me feel terrible. I just don't live that way today. It turns out that RW is actually a pretty decent dude. I have my faults but overall I'm not bad.
I don't post this to brag, and I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just wanted to give people and update on what's up with me and for any newcomer to see where I am now compared to where I was here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-again.html.
Maybe it's just a big co-in-sa-dence (can't spell that word lol), but it doesn't seem to be. I quit drinking, took tons of daily action, and my life has gotten better. It's NOTHING like I imagined in my wildest dreams, it's better. Crazy huh?
I just want to thank you guys for all of the support and help. I do know there are obstacles in front of me that will rock my world (always are, that's just life), but for now I am happy, joyous, and free. What I find so cool, is today I have a whole bunch of tools I can use when then bad stuff comes (and it will).
I promise you, if I can do this, you can to. I just pray that I never go back to that dark place again.
Love you guys --- RW!
145 days ago I made a decision (like I had so many times). I was at the point where something had to change. I had no idea what was in store. I went to an AA meeting on December 3, 2010 and got active. I have had TREMENDOUS struggles not drinking. There have been times when it took every single tool I had, you guys had, AA had, and my HP had just to stop me from turning to my "trusty" friend alcohol. The good news is I haven't drank. Day in, day out I just don't drink. Here's what's happened.
I have found a way to actually like who I am.
Today I don't want your shirt, or your job, or your house, or your life. Mine is just fine thanks. I love my wife so much more today than I did. All of the fights we had I can clearly see how I was in the wrong the majority of the time.
Today, I see how big of a job I really have being a father. I always wanted to be good dad 100% of the time, but in truth - I was only able to give about 15%. That caused a lot of heartache for me because I was never able to be who I wanted to be with alcoholism dragging me down and I knew it.
Today, I have many friends that I do a ton of stuff with. Play cards, play golf, go to meetings, go to concerts, etc... I simply didn't have this when I was drinking.
Today, I have a job that I honestly wouldn't have dreamed of when drinking. The interview process was 2 months long. I had 6 interviews and met with 10 different people. Even after all of that, I still got the job. When I was drinking I was so scared that people might find out "who I really was". Today, I simply don't live with that fear.
Basically, my life has completely changed. It has taken me places that I never dreamed of and I'm not even 5 months sober. I am so incredibly grateful.
With all of these good things that have happened, the best thing of all is - I DON'T HATE MYSELF ANYMORE. Remember living that way??? Waking up and looking at yourself in the mirror and not liking at all what you see. When I was drinking, the shame, the guilt, the self loathing, etc... just made me feel terrible. I just don't live that way today. It turns out that RW is actually a pretty decent dude. I have my faults but overall I'm not bad.
I don't post this to brag, and I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just wanted to give people and update on what's up with me and for any newcomer to see where I am now compared to where I was here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-again.html.
Maybe it's just a big co-in-sa-dence (can't spell that word lol), but it doesn't seem to be. I quit drinking, took tons of daily action, and my life has gotten better. It's NOTHING like I imagined in my wildest dreams, it's better. Crazy huh?
I just want to thank you guys for all of the support and help. I do know there are obstacles in front of me that will rock my world (always are, that's just life), but for now I am happy, joyous, and free. What I find so cool, is today I have a whole bunch of tools I can use when then bad stuff comes (and it will).
I promise you, if I can do this, you can to. I just pray that I never go back to that dark place again.
Love you guys --- RW!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It's so great to read another one of your posts rw! Reminds me of the changes that I have to be grateful for too.While drinking, I knew I felt horrid in the morning, but didn't really think alcohol changed me that much. Boy was I wrong...... I felt like I was constantly spinning plates to keep everything from falling apart. Now the plates are stacked up nicely and I can spend my time living. It's hard sometimes - but it sure wasn't any easier back then.....
Thanks for a great post!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
In the scheme of things it hasn't been that long. You have done a wonderful job of keeping your priorities straight and getting your life in order -the right order. No one said sobriety was easy...it will be a struggle for the rest of our lives. But with the good HP willing you'll be just fine...you followed your path. You followed life's plan and look whatcha got!! Proud of you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by reggiewayne 
Ok, so 145 days ago I was miserable. And when I say miserable, I mean literally, hopelessly miserable. I was drinking tremendous amounts of booze, taking xanax to quite the hangover, and pot to quiet the xanax. I was working a job I didn't like, fighting with my wife constantly, feeling like a failure as a father, and had 1 friend. The highlight of my day was the 20 or 30 minutes of relief I got from drinking. The problem was the 20 to 30 minutes were always followed by another 4 hours of a drunken mess.
145 days ago I made a decision (like I had so many times). I was at the point where something had to change. I had no idea what was in store. I went to an AA meeting on December 3, 2010 and got active. I have had TREMENDOUS struggles not drinking. There have been times when it took every single tool I had, you guys had, AA had, and my HP had just to stop me from turning to my "trusty" friend alcohol. The good news is I haven't drank. Day in, day out I just don't drink. Here's what's happened.
I have found a way to actually like who I am.
Today I don't want your shirt, or your job, or your house, or your life. Mine is just fine thanks. I love my wife so much more today than I did. All of the fights we had I can clearly see how I was in the wrong the majority of the time.
Today, I see how big of a job I really have being a father. I always wanted to be good dad 100% of the time, but in truth - I was only able to give about 15%. That caused a lot of heartache for me because I was never able to be who I wanted to be with alcoholism dragging me down and I knew it.
Today, I have many friends that I do a ton of stuff with. Play cards, play golf, go to meetings, go to concerts, etc... I simply didn't have this when I was drinking.
Today, I have a job that I honestly wouldn't have dreamed of when drinking. The interview process was 2 months long. I had 6 interviews and met with 10 different people. Even after all of that, I still got the job. When I was drinking I was so scared that people might find out "who I really was". Today, I simply don't live with that fear.
Basically, my life has completely changed. It has taken me places that I never dreamed of and I'm not even 5 months sober. I am so incredibly grateful.
With all of these good things that have happened, the best thing of all is - I DON'T HATE MYSELF ANYMORE. Remember living that way??? Waking up and looking at yourself in the mirror and not liking at all what you see. When I was drinking, the shame, the guilt, the self loathing, etc... just made me feel terrible. I just don't live that way today. It turns out that RW is actually a pretty decent dude. I have my faults but overall I'm not bad.
I don't post this to brag, and I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just wanted to give people and update on what's up with me and for any newcomer to see where I am now compared to where I was here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-again.html.
Maybe it's just a big co-in-sa-dence (can't spell that word lol), but it doesn't seem to be. I quit drinking, took tons of daily action, and my life has gotten better. It's NOTHING like I imagined in my wildest dreams, it's better. Crazy huh?
I just want to thank you guys for all of the support and help. I do know there are obstacles in front of me that will rock my world (always are, that's just life), but for now I am happy, joyous, and free. What I find so cool, is today I have a whole bunch of tools I can use when then bad stuff comes (and it will).
I promise you, if I can do this, you can to. I just pray that I never go back to that dark place again.
Love you guys --- RW!
145 days ago I made a decision (like I had so many times). I was at the point where something had to change. I had no idea what was in store. I went to an AA meeting on December 3, 2010 and got active. I have had TREMENDOUS struggles not drinking. There have been times when it took every single tool I had, you guys had, AA had, and my HP had just to stop me from turning to my "trusty" friend alcohol. The good news is I haven't drank. Day in, day out I just don't drink. Here's what's happened.
I have found a way to actually like who I am.
Today I don't want your shirt, or your job, or your house, or your life. Mine is just fine thanks. I love my wife so much more today than I did. All of the fights we had I can clearly see how I was in the wrong the majority of the time.
Today, I see how big of a job I really have being a father. I always wanted to be good dad 100% of the time, but in truth - I was only able to give about 15%. That caused a lot of heartache for me because I was never able to be who I wanted to be with alcoholism dragging me down and I knew it.
Today, I have many friends that I do a ton of stuff with. Play cards, play golf, go to meetings, go to concerts, etc... I simply didn't have this when I was drinking.
Today, I have a job that I honestly wouldn't have dreamed of when drinking. The interview process was 2 months long. I had 6 interviews and met with 10 different people. Even after all of that, I still got the job. When I was drinking I was so scared that people might find out "who I really was". Today, I simply don't live with that fear.
Basically, my life has completely changed. It has taken me places that I never dreamed of and I'm not even 5 months sober. I am so incredibly grateful.
With all of these good things that have happened, the best thing of all is - I DON'T HATE MYSELF ANYMORE. Remember living that way??? Waking up and looking at yourself in the mirror and not liking at all what you see. When I was drinking, the shame, the guilt, the self loathing, etc... just made me feel terrible. I just don't live that way today. It turns out that RW is actually a pretty decent dude. I have my faults but overall I'm not bad.
I don't post this to brag, and I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just wanted to give people and update on what's up with me and for any newcomer to see where I am now compared to where I was here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-again.html.
Maybe it's just a big co-in-sa-dence (can't spell that word lol), but it doesn't seem to be. I quit drinking, took tons of daily action, and my life has gotten better. It's NOTHING like I imagined in my wildest dreams, it's better. Crazy huh?
I just want to thank you guys for all of the support and help. I do know there are obstacles in front of me that will rock my world (always are, that's just life), but for now I am happy, joyous, and free. What I find so cool, is today I have a whole bunch of tools I can use when then bad stuff comes (and it will).
I promise you, if I can do this, you can to. I just pray that I never go back to that dark place again.
Love you guys --- RW!
RW You have been an inspiration to me , that is for sure.
Thanks for that insight into who you were and who you are now..
You are living proof that a life without booze is a better life.
Thanks mate
L
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Thank you for the share. My life is much fuller without alcohol in it for sure. It's not always perfect or happy, but it's life and I can go with the ups and downs. If we didn't have the downs or difficulties we wouldn't appreciate what's good so much. I even became appreciative of being able to feel ANYTHING - even some pain and anger - rather than the state of numbness and spiritual hollowness I'd succumbed to.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by reggiewayne
Basically, my life has completely changed. It has taken me places that I never dreamed of...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
If you see how grand life is today by being sober, just
imagine the rewards of the promises yrs down the road.
For me, i couldnt see that far down the road when I
first got sober. I had to walk, live, breath, pray the steps
as I incorperated them into my everyday life a day at
a time recieving little glimpses of rewards and gifts
as scene fit to recieve them by my actions.
20 yrs later and Im still sober and have had an extrardinary
recovery journey which I am still on today always excited
and looking forward to what new adventures lies ahead of me.
Continuing to share my own experiences, strengths and
hopes of what it was like before during and after alcohol
giving away all the knowledge that has been so freely passed
on to me, I am happy joyous and free in my life today.
imagine the rewards of the promises yrs down the road.
For me, i couldnt see that far down the road when I
first got sober. I had to walk, live, breath, pray the steps
as I incorperated them into my everyday life a day at
a time recieving little glimpses of rewards and gifts
as scene fit to recieve them by my actions.
20 yrs later and Im still sober and have had an extrardinary
recovery journey which I am still on today always excited
and looking forward to what new adventures lies ahead of me.
Continuing to share my own experiences, strengths and
hopes of what it was like before during and after alcohol
giving away all the knowledge that has been so freely passed
on to me, I am happy joyous and free in my life today.
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