Don't ever drink
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 64
Keith has it right
I walked right into the rooms I left some time ago just yesterday and all people said was welcome back. No inquiry as to why I went out , what happened , how messy it was. They simply said welcome back and glad to see you.
Granted this group is a great group and I guess YMMV depending on your group or whichever group you try. Don't like a group , there are lots in most places to choose from. But the key to AA membership is simple , the only requirement is is a desire to stop drinking.
Did I feel a bit humbled and awkward , sure , a bit , but good gosh compared to the hell of continued drinking , I will take that any day.
Mending a body, mind and spirit is not overnight success and involves work. Gee I am back at step 1 as in honesty , I did not truly understand it properly. I'd like to think this time I will and with work perhaps one day I will but also believe it will have to be reiterated for a lifetime.
I walked right into the rooms I left some time ago just yesterday and all people said was welcome back. No inquiry as to why I went out , what happened , how messy it was. They simply said welcome back and glad to see you.
Granted this group is a great group and I guess YMMV depending on your group or whichever group you try. Don't like a group , there are lots in most places to choose from. But the key to AA membership is simple , the only requirement is is a desire to stop drinking.
Did I feel a bit humbled and awkward , sure , a bit , but good gosh compared to the hell of continued drinking , I will take that any day.
Mending a body, mind and spirit is not overnight success and involves work. Gee I am back at step 1 as in honesty , I did not truly understand it properly. I'd like to think this time I will and with work perhaps one day I will but also believe it will have to be reiterated for a lifetime.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
I understand that you are baffled by this disease and don't know why you drink. I was shocked when I realized that I couldn't stop drinking when I wanted to. And, I was very angry at myself for getting into such a mess. How could I not see it happening? But, there I was and thank goodness I got out. You can stop drinking and begin to live a peaceful life. But, I believe you do need to figure out why you drink. I think we need to deal with the underlying problems in order to recover.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Kjell 
Hi DMW-
Be willing.
Be honest.
Be openminded.
I got sober b/c I stopped listening to my own sick, alcoholic ego and started listening to those who know how to get and stay sober.
Maybe it's time to get rid of some old ideas?
Kjell~
Be willing.
Be honest.
Be openminded.
I got sober b/c I stopped listening to my own sick, alcoholic ego and started listening to those who know how to get and stay sober.
Maybe it's time to get rid of some old ideas?
Kjell~
Getting rid of old ideas.. maybe that's what's most important, right now..
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by keithj
Nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, most in AA will love you right to death. They'll accept you unconditionally instead of telling you the truth about what it took for them to recover.
This is the condition of alcoholism. Despite the consequences, despite how horrible it made me feel, I always went back to it. Physical allergy (when I drink, I get a physical craving for MORE) and mental obsession (when I quit drinking, I can't stay quit for long).
I had to have an entire psychic change in order to overcome (conquer) this problem. My same mind drank again every time. But, when I took the 12 Steps and had a spiritual awakening, I started reacting to life differently. It was described by Carl Jung as the "ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them."
That's what was required for me to recover.
This is the condition of alcoholism. Despite the consequences, despite how horrible it made me feel, I always went back to it. Physical allergy (when I drink, I get a physical craving for MORE) and mental obsession (when I quit drinking, I can't stay quit for long).
I had to have an entire psychic change in order to overcome (conquer) this problem. My same mind drank again every time. But, when I took the 12 Steps and had a spiritual awakening, I started reacting to life differently. It was described by Carl Jung as the "ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them."
That's what was required for me to recover.
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Anna
I understand that you are baffled by this disease and don't know why you drink. I was shocked when I realized that I couldn't stop drinking when I wanted to. And, I was very angry at myself for getting into such a mess. How could I not see it happening? But, there I was and thank goodness I got out. You can stop drinking and begin to live a peaceful life. But, I believe you do need to figure out why you drink. I think we need to deal with the underlying problems in order to recover.
I don't even know, I guess that I don't know
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
welcome dmw - so glad you joined us..... I think if you read around the forum, you'll see that we've all been where you're at. You don't have to admit you're powerless over alcohol, but at least up to this point, doesn't it feel that way?
You described it so well: the almost robotic act of reaching for that drink, being compelled even when the other part of us (the little sanity left) knows better. The obsession........
In theory maybe, but has it worked so far?
It actually takes courage (rather than weakness) to reach out for help. We have to let go of our ego, ya know? Alcoholism affects all kinds of people, rich and poor, and geniuses too (infact alcoholics overall have a higher IQ than the general population).
You really don't have to live this way..... why not get some help for detox and take it from there? You're not alone - we really do understand.:ghug3
You described it so well: the almost robotic act of reaching for that drink, being compelled even when the other part of us (the little sanity left) knows better. The obsession........
Can't I take responsibility for my actions and face myself down, somehow?
It actually takes courage (rather than weakness) to reach out for help. We have to let go of our ego, ya know? Alcoholism affects all kinds of people, rich and poor, and geniuses too (infact alcoholics overall have a higher IQ than the general population).
You really don't have to live this way..... why not get some help for detox and take it from there? You're not alone - we really do understand.:ghug3
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by artsoul
welcome dmw - so glad you joined us..... I think if you read around the forum, you'll see that we've all been where you're at. You don't have to admit you're powerless over alcohol, but at least up to this point, doesn't it feel that way?
You described it so well: the almost robotic act of reaching for that drink, being compelled even when the other part of us (the little sanity left) knows better. The obsession........
In theory maybe, but has it worked so far?
It actually takes courage (rather than weakness) to reach out for help. We have to let go of our ego, ya know? Alcoholism affects all kinds of people, rich and poor, and geniuses too (infact alcoholics overall have a higher IQ than the general population).
You really don't have to live this way..... why not get some help for detox and take it from there? You're not alone - we really do understand.:ghug3
You described it so well: the almost robotic act of reaching for that drink, being compelled even when the other part of us (the little sanity left) knows better. The obsession........
In theory maybe, but has it worked so far?
It actually takes courage (rather than weakness) to reach out for help. We have to let go of our ego, ya know? Alcoholism affects all kinds of people, rich and poor, and geniuses too (infact alcoholics overall have a higher IQ than the general population).
You really don't have to live this way..... why not get some help for detox and take it from there? You're not alone - we really do understand.:ghug3
I don't know if it's worked, or if I've tried... you sure are right about it being the most difficult part... looking for help.. Admitting that I may need it
I've no problem admitting when I need some help but with THIS? Taking time to sink in.
And then the detox thing, I need to.. but I seem to.... and then I go back
What I mean is, I don't drink "often" any more. Maybe once a week. I spend a-lot of time sober ..... so it's like this snake that bites me
I'll be going along fine and great and BLAM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
I can't add much to what Keith said, because he captured it perfectly. But let me try:
The frustration you feel that you cannot control your drinking even though you know it is destructive is a form of insanity. I used to wake up in the morning, brutally hung over, and swear that I would not drink again. And I believe that I would have passed a lie-detector test-- I meant it, to the core of my very being. And then, as the day wore on, I revised my thinking. I got some food in me, some water, began to feel a little better, and then drinking became an acceptable idea. I was unable to summon the memory of the agony of that morning, and I viewed my promise as an overreaction.
This Groundhog Day life-- round and round-- is what alcoholism is. It's utter madness. Can you possibly accept the fact right now that you are insane in the matter of drinking? And that your application of willpower has failed you, and will continue to fail you?
That's the first step.
When we are clear on that, we are ready to move on. And yes, it's about finding a power greater than ourselves to solve this problem. And yes, it conjures images of bible-thumping preachers and religious revivals, but it is not that. Rather than simply worship a power we don't understand, we take steps to break down the obstacles in our lives that block us off from that power, that keep us from knowing it and making it part of our lives. We look at our resentments and fears. We put our finger on what our role was/is in each of those instances-- what our character defects are that make us feel the way we do.
I believe that the steps crush my ego and allow my spirit-- a nurturing, protective, generous thing-- to emerge. Whether that's God, or Buddah, or a guy in a flowing robe named Steve, I don't care. The action yielded a result, and the first manifestation of that result was that I stopped wanting to drink. I was restored to sanity-- I was clear on the truth of my first step. And I felt compelled to share this message with suffering alcoholics.
It's just that, and all that.
The frustration you feel that you cannot control your drinking even though you know it is destructive is a form of insanity. I used to wake up in the morning, brutally hung over, and swear that I would not drink again. And I believe that I would have passed a lie-detector test-- I meant it, to the core of my very being. And then, as the day wore on, I revised my thinking. I got some food in me, some water, began to feel a little better, and then drinking became an acceptable idea. I was unable to summon the memory of the agony of that morning, and I viewed my promise as an overreaction.
This Groundhog Day life-- round and round-- is what alcoholism is. It's utter madness. Can you possibly accept the fact right now that you are insane in the matter of drinking? And that your application of willpower has failed you, and will continue to fail you?
That's the first step.
When we are clear on that, we are ready to move on. And yes, it's about finding a power greater than ourselves to solve this problem. And yes, it conjures images of bible-thumping preachers and religious revivals, but it is not that. Rather than simply worship a power we don't understand, we take steps to break down the obstacles in our lives that block us off from that power, that keep us from knowing it and making it part of our lives. We look at our resentments and fears. We put our finger on what our role was/is in each of those instances-- what our character defects are that make us feel the way we do.
I believe that the steps crush my ego and allow my spirit-- a nurturing, protective, generous thing-- to emerge. Whether that's God, or Buddah, or a guy in a flowing robe named Steve, I don't care. The action yielded a result, and the first manifestation of that result was that I stopped wanting to drink. I was restored to sanity-- I was clear on the truth of my first step. And I felt compelled to share this message with suffering alcoholics.
It's just that, and all that.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Originally Posted by dmw101
I had no idea AA was so.. reasonable!
Glad you did join here and are posting. You are reaching out, and that is a big step. Stick around here, see if you can't get yourself to some meetings, and your life can and will turn around.
I met a guy a week or so ago, who picked up a 90 day chip. 91 days before that, he had been homeless, sleeping on a park bench, ended up in jail after finding an "abandoned" home that was not truly abandoned. He sobered up, started in AA, started working the program, and 90 days later, his life had already changed in significant ways.
You are not hopeless, you are not stupid or a moron. You are, most likely, an alcoholic. There is no cure for it, but there is help. See if you can't get it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by FrothyJay
I can't add much to what Keith said, because he captured it perfectly. But let me try:
The frustration you feel that you cannot control your drinking even though you know it is destructive is a form of insanity. I used to wake up in the morning, brutally hung over, and swear that I would not drink again. And I believe that I would have passed a lie-detector test-- I meant it, to the core of my very being. And then, as the day wore on, I revised my thinking. I got some food in me, some water, began to feel a little better, and then drinking became an acceptable idea. I was unable to summon the memory of the agony of that morning, and I viewed my promise as an overreaction.
This Groundhog Day life-- round and round-- is what alcoholism is. It's utter madness. Can you possibly accept the fact right now that you are insane in the matter of drinking? And that your application of willpower has failed you, and will continue to fail you?
That's the first step.
When we are clear on that, we are ready to move on. And yes, it's about finding a power greater than ourselves to solve this problem. And yes, it conjures images of bible-thumping preachers and religious revivals, but it is not that. Rather than simply worship a power we don't understand, we take steps to break down the obstacles in our lives that block us off from that power, that keep us from knowing it and making it part of our lives. We look at our resentments and fears. We put our finger on what our role was/is in each of those instances-- what our character defects are that make us feel the way we do.
I believe that the steps crush my ego and allow my spirit-- a nurturing, protective, generous thing-- to emerge. Whether that's God, or Buddah, or a guy in a flowing robe named Steve, I don't care. The action yielded a result, and the first manifestation of that result was that I stopped wanting to drink. I was restored to sanity-- I was clear on the truth of my first step. And I felt compelled to share this message with suffering alcoholics.
It's just that, and all that.
The frustration you feel that you cannot control your drinking even though you know it is destructive is a form of insanity. I used to wake up in the morning, brutally hung over, and swear that I would not drink again. And I believe that I would have passed a lie-detector test-- I meant it, to the core of my very being. And then, as the day wore on, I revised my thinking. I got some food in me, some water, began to feel a little better, and then drinking became an acceptable idea. I was unable to summon the memory of the agony of that morning, and I viewed my promise as an overreaction.
This Groundhog Day life-- round and round-- is what alcoholism is. It's utter madness. Can you possibly accept the fact right now that you are insane in the matter of drinking? And that your application of willpower has failed you, and will continue to fail you?
That's the first step.
When we are clear on that, we are ready to move on. And yes, it's about finding a power greater than ourselves to solve this problem. And yes, it conjures images of bible-thumping preachers and religious revivals, but it is not that. Rather than simply worship a power we don't understand, we take steps to break down the obstacles in our lives that block us off from that power, that keep us from knowing it and making it part of our lives. We look at our resentments and fears. We put our finger on what our role was/is in each of those instances-- what our character defects are that make us feel the way we do.
I believe that the steps crush my ego and allow my spirit-- a nurturing, protective, generous thing-- to emerge. Whether that's God, or Buddah, or a guy in a flowing robe named Steve, I don't care. The action yielded a result, and the first manifestation of that result was that I stopped wanting to drink. I was restored to sanity-- I was clear on the truth of my first step. And I felt compelled to share this message with suffering alcoholics.
It's just that, and all that.
I guess what's bothering me the most since my faith began to weaken is that god is never accountable for any bad things but always credited for any good that happens... I don't know if or when I can have that faith, again, but maybe I can start by trying to bring down walls between me and the spirit in me
I know spirits are real, because mine is very strong, and I can affect other people with it.. I can also feel the spirit of another person.. I'm not sure of how to say what I mean
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by GettingStronger2
Hard to know something until you experience it! AA saved my life, and not just helped me with drinking. Perhaps you may want to give it a chance.
Glad you did join here and are posting. You are reaching out, and that is a big step. Stick around here, see if you can't get yourself to some meetings, and your life can and will turn around.
I met a guy a week or so ago, who picked up a 90 day chip. 91 days before that, he had been homeless, sleeping on a park bench, ended up in jail after finding an "abandoned" home that was not truly abandoned. He sobered up, started in AA, started working the program, and 90 days later, his life had already changed in significant ways.
You are not hopeless, you are not stupid or a moron. You are, most likely, an alcoholic. There is no cure for it, but there is help. See if you can't get it.
Glad you did join here and are posting. You are reaching out, and that is a big step. Stick around here, see if you can't get yourself to some meetings, and your life can and will turn around.
I met a guy a week or so ago, who picked up a 90 day chip. 91 days before that, he had been homeless, sleeping on a park bench, ended up in jail after finding an "abandoned" home that was not truly abandoned. He sobered up, started in AA, started working the program, and 90 days later, his life had already changed in significant ways.
You are not hopeless, you are not stupid or a moron. You are, most likely, an alcoholic. There is no cure for it, but there is help. See if you can't get it.
I don't know that I meant to "reach out". I just felt like telling people not to do what I have done. It is good knowing that other people have the same nightmare in life I've got. I knew that, but, it's good to know. You know.
What I meant by homeless is "close to it" ... I'm moving away with only a few hundred dollars in a 200,000 mile car. I'm scared to death that it won't hold up and that I won't be able to make the rent where I am going. It's a weekly hotel but it's very clean and has internet I'll need
The program I will be promoting pays $150 per sale and it is a very very good cause I believe in. I'm also trying to think of part time regular work to do. I've never had regular work, my whole life and I despise it, but I am not afraid of it at all and am more than willing to do it. I've never been on any welfare or anything like it, at all. I make my own money or I'll live under a bridge.
Am I wrong to hope that having less free time will help with my drinking problem? The past few years I've barely coasted by on smaller and smaller residual checks I had.... down to about 300 a month, now, and I don't seem to remember how to make money but I was once SO very good at it
I still have the talent I know I do.. I saved a business late last year for someone. Literally saved it. It was a week from being closed down when I walked in and saved it. That's another frustrating thing - of all the things I've done for people, it's NEVER paid off. I've even helped one of my lady friends make 100s of 1000s in RE and even she forgot all about me. I've helped still others out of terrible situations, I use to pay my parents bills, on and on and on I use to loan money to people
Why is there NO ONE here for me NOW?!
I am just so frustrated over here. I want to .. I don't know
I don't want to drink when it's the worst, isn't that odd though?
The only time I can blame stress for drinking is when I VERY RARELY have one of those "my heart is pounding I can take any more I feel dizzy I'm about to have a heart attack" days where I'll go and have a drink to slow down. Alcohol slows me down real well, but that makes it a crutch, right? Dangerous I know
Look at me rambling and telling complete strangers my whole story
Sigh
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Nothing wrong with sharing your story, especially here where people "get it." After I made my first post, I felt a sense of relief somehow.
Just a question: you made the statement: So if you can limit your drinking to once a week, how did you get to the point where you have no money and your life is a "nightmare" as you called it?
Just a question: you made the statement:
I don't drink "often" any more. Maybe once a week. I spend a-lot of time sober .....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by dmw101
Never did I go in for the religion aspect of spirituality.. It was always "me and god", for me, you know?
I guess what's bothering me the most since my faith began to weaken is that god is never accountable for any bad things but always credited for any good that happens... I don't know if or when I can have that faith, again, but maybe I can start by trying to bring down walls between me and the spirit in me
I know spirits are real, because mine is very strong, and I can affect other people with it.. I can also feel the spirit of another person.. I'm not sure of how to say what I mean
I guess what's bothering me the most since my faith began to weaken is that god is never accountable for any bad things but always credited for any good that happens... I don't know if or when I can have that faith, again, but maybe I can start by trying to bring down walls between me and the spirit in me
I know spirits are real, because mine is very strong, and I can affect other people with it.. I can also feel the spirit of another person.. I'm not sure of how to say what I mean
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by artsoul
Nothing wrong with sharing your story, especially here where people "get it." After I made my first post, I felt a sense of relief somehow.
Just a question: you made the statement: So if you can limit your drinking to once a week, how did you get to the point where you have no money and your life is a "nightmare" as you called it?
Just a question: you made the statement: So if you can limit your drinking to once a week, how did you get to the point where you have no money and your life is a "nightmare" as you called it?
It's not really that I limit myself.. it's that I hate drinking, don't like doing it, and it's not something I really do often any more. The thing is, when I do, the effects can last days or almost a week.... It changes the way I feel and think
I had a hangover last week last five days... the headache, not being able to keep anything down, not even water... dry heaving, etc. I only have ½ of a kidney instead of two so I think that slows me down somehow (as an example, the day after I go on a bender, I don't **** of have to until late that evening and then I don't **** much)
Also I think it's lowering down my testosterone level or some kind of a thing because I use to be so aggressive and raw... I'm not as raw and animal like with my lady friends any more (lower sex drive) and I never pursue any business deals or money making opportunity.. plus my body has lost a-lot of muscle and everything
I use to be a go getter in business and I was friskey all of the time for women... I was a good businessman and an amazing lover. I still am those things but I haven't made money in some time, now. I am not as good a lover as I use to be - I still make my lady friends happy when I see them, just nowhere near as well as I use to
I really believe that drinking has messed my mind and body up
You might think that's crazy but I believe it!!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
"Don't ever drink" is a large part of the bigger picture of "don't ever quit my addiction/mental illness treatment plan". Having a treatment plan keeps me on task no matter what happens in my life. SMART Recovery, CBT and AA meetings, just to name a few things that keep me going in the best direction for living a drug free lifestyle.
Understanding how addiction works in the brain has answered all the important question I need to know about why I do what I do in addiction. Then it becomes a matter of developing the skills that keep me healthy.
Understanding how addiction works in the brain has answered all the important question I need to know about why I do what I do in addiction. Then it becomes a matter of developing the skills that keep me healthy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by FrothyJay
Being open to a completely new concept of a power greater than ourselves is key. Rather than bring your old conceptions, try to leave them behind. Your belief in the idea of spirit is sufficient to make a start. For me, the stepwork I did allowed me to develop my concept as I went along. I do not believe that there is some greater power out there deciding what is right and what is wrong, and intervening in our lives. We have complete and utter free will. I do believe, though, that there is a spark, a force, that exists in us and around us-- and it is inherently good and nurturing. We feel this when we are selfless and help others-- it's as real a feeling as anything I've experienced in my life, and it is the foundation of my spirituality.
Are you saying what the other post said about breaking down walls between me and the good in the world as well as the good in myself? I think that several of you are trying to tell me that I'm simply not allowing any of the good in
And you're right
No one did any of this to me.. I kept everything good in life from MYSELF for a long time, now ... absolutely shocked and confused as to why!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Zencat
"Don't ever drink" is a large part of the bigger picture of "don't ever quit my addiction/mental illness treatment plan". Having a treatment plan keeps me on task no matter what happens in my life. SMART Recovery, CBT and AA meetings, just to name a few things that keep me going in the best direction for living a drug free lifestyle.
Understanding how addiction works in the brain has answered all the important question I need to know about why I do what I do in addiction. Then it becomes a matter of developing the skills that keep me healthy.
Understanding how addiction works in the brain has answered all the important question I need to know about why I do what I do in addiction. Then it becomes a matter of developing the skills that keep me healthy.
I can't understand my alcohol addiction.. I can't identify any physical withdrawl symptoms, as I can with smoking. You know because I've good a month at a time without a drink and felt fine, but if I don't use nicotine BLAM withdrawl is in my face like a knife!!
The only time I had physical withdrawl was when I came out of a 2 year bender and did 1½ years sober. It was awful - At first I was shaking and thinking people were there, I even laid on the kitchen table and thought the ceiling fan was buzzing down trying to slice me up.... I ended up taking two drinks a day for the first month to not shake then did almost a year and a half STONE DRY.
Those two drinks a day at first there were beer and even after all my time drunk I had NEVER drank a whole beer EVER ONE TIME. Beer took me a long time to learn how to drink, I hated it, so it worked to cure the shakes until I was okay. NOW I can drink beer and actually like it
I acquired the taste .. and it gets me drunk faster than real drinks!!!!http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1-post164.html
See in this post I can understand WHY I use nicotine..
I can't make a post like that about alcohol
It's just not simple like nicotine addiction is for me
I think that I am talking about the difference between physical and physiological addiction, right? An addiction doesn't have to have physical withdrawl?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UT
Posts: 161
Welcome to SR DMV!
Your story is all so familiar. I too thought I was so smart that I could control my drinking. NOT! Accept the fact that this is a physiological disease. As soon as possible, buy yourself a copy of Under the Influence. I got mine at Barnes and Noble. After you read it you will understand how you got to the place you are now, despite your intelligence.
There are alcoholics in both my mother and father families. Alcoholism has a strong genetic link. I lost 3 younger brothers to alcoholism. One died during a fight while drunk; another had a stroke and spent 2 years in a nursing home before he died, the last died from liver disease. Despite knowing all this, I drank to reward myself after a frustrating day, an argument with my spouse, stress, anxiety, you name it. In the morning, I tormented myself with feelings of frustration and guilt and trying to recall what I had said or done the night before. This went on for over 20 years.
I am almost a senior citizen, and I have been sober for 6 weeks. SR has been invaluable to me.
Stop beating yourself up. This disease is insidious!!! Call your doctor for an appt. It's one of the hardest things I ever did; showing up for the appt. was HARDEST). You can do it too. Get some help detoxing. Taking that 1st step will make you feel so much better about yourself. You are not alone.
:ghug3:ghug3
Good luck to you. Keep posting.
Your story is all so familiar. I too thought I was so smart that I could control my drinking. NOT! Accept the fact that this is a physiological disease. As soon as possible, buy yourself a copy of Under the Influence. I got mine at Barnes and Noble. After you read it you will understand how you got to the place you are now, despite your intelligence.
There are alcoholics in both my mother and father families. Alcoholism has a strong genetic link. I lost 3 younger brothers to alcoholism. One died during a fight while drunk; another had a stroke and spent 2 years in a nursing home before he died, the last died from liver disease. Despite knowing all this, I drank to reward myself after a frustrating day, an argument with my spouse, stress, anxiety, you name it. In the morning, I tormented myself with feelings of frustration and guilt and trying to recall what I had said or done the night before. This went on for over 20 years.
I am almost a senior citizen, and I have been sober for 6 weeks. SR has been invaluable to me.
Stop beating yourself up. This disease is insidious!!! Call your doctor for an appt. It's one of the hardest things I ever did; showing up for the appt. was HARDEST). You can do it too. Get some help detoxing. Taking that 1st step will make you feel so much better about yourself. You are not alone.
:ghug3:ghug3
Good luck to you. Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UT
Posts: 161
"I think that I am talking about the difference between physical and physiological addiction, right? An addiction doesn't have to have physical withdrawl"DMV:
To my understanding, physical and physiological are both adjectives referring to the body. To me, there's no difference in meaning, except the form they take in a sentence. We alcoholics have done unseen damage to virtually every cell in our bodies. You may not have the visible signs (shakes or headaches etc.) of withdrawal, but you will have withdrawal if you are addicted to alcohol. Check out the meaning of PAWS (POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS).
To my understanding, physical and physiological are both adjectives referring to the body. To me, there's no difference in meaning, except the form they take in a sentence. We alcoholics have done unseen damage to virtually every cell in our bodies. You may not have the visible signs (shakes or headaches etc.) of withdrawal, but you will have withdrawal if you are addicted to alcohol. Check out the meaning of PAWS (POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 228
Ok, you're a smart guy, right? Listen to Zencat when this was said: "Understanding how addiction works in the brain has answered all the important question I need to know about why I do what I do in addiction. Then it becomes a matter of developing the skills that keep me healthy."
The thing is, you can understand this, but the only way to begin understanding it is by quitting drinking while allowing for your mind to open up to the world that you've essentially sealed yourself from with the use of alcohol. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, my friend.
BTW, if you really have an IQ of 160, just remember that there's always someone else out there that's just as intelligent or more so than you are. However, from the conversation I'm hearing here, you're showing your naivety by not listening to some very intelligent advice. That is: GET HELP! It doesn't matter how you do it, but you have to do it! You'll probably be amazed to find just how quickly your IQ may come back to where it once was if you make the wise choice of quitting drinking.
The thing is, you can understand this, but the only way to begin understanding it is by quitting drinking while allowing for your mind to open up to the world that you've essentially sealed yourself from with the use of alcohol. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, my friend.
BTW, if you really have an IQ of 160, just remember that there's always someone else out there that's just as intelligent or more so than you are. However, from the conversation I'm hearing here, you're showing your naivety by not listening to some very intelligent advice. That is: GET HELP! It doesn't matter how you do it, but you have to do it! You'll probably be amazed to find just how quickly your IQ may come back to where it once was if you make the wise choice of quitting drinking.
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