wise words I heard today - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-09-2011, 05:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Inafishbowl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 264

wise words I heard today


I was talking to a friend I met at a meeting today. And mostly joking, throwing a tantrum about all of the *nevers*. I'll never have sake again. I'll never have a glass of red wine again. I'm going to a St. Patrick's day party at my dad's and I'll NEVER be able to have Irish Coffee again...blah!

She said something that really resinated with me. She said, "you need to think of it differently. All those people at that party *HAVE* to drink. How great that you don't!."

It made me feel a little better, anyway.
__________________
"I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes"
~P!nk
Inafishbowl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to Inafishbowl For This Useful Post:
artsoul (03-09-2011), Auggie (03-09-2011), BobGT (03-10-2011), CheekyAngel (03-09-2011), Chris2011 (03-09-2011), EmeraldRose (03-09-2011), Impurrfect (03-10-2011), least (03-10-2011), Lenina (03-09-2011), leo21 (03-10-2011), LexieCat (03-10-2011), MIBluebird (03-10-2011), ReadyAndAble (03-09-2011), RebelAngel (03-10-2011), Reubena (03-10-2011), ronf (03-09-2011), Rusty Zipper (03-09-2011), SSIL75 (03-09-2011), TotoBidule (03-09-2011), ViciousCycle (03-09-2011)
Old 03-09-2011, 05:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
That is very true ......
__________________
...................................

"After Every Dark Night Is A Brighter Day"
CheekyAngel is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to CheekyAngel For This Useful Post:
Impurrfect (03-10-2011)
Old 03-09-2011, 06:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Tlizard's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6
It's entertaining to go out w friends and watch the normal drinkers have 2 cocktails and slir and behave poorly,one realizes how potent booze is and how stupid it makes us look,never isn't such a bad thing after all.best T
Tlizard is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Tlizard For This Useful Post:
Impurrfect (03-10-2011)
Old 03-09-2011, 10:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
SR Fan
 
artsoul's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I really like that response your friend gave you...... It really is a positive thing not having to drink on those occasions!

Even better is how you feel the day after the holiday. It was so nice this year getting up on New Year's day feeling good - now that's the way to celebrate!
artsoul is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to artsoul For This Useful Post:
BobGT (03-10-2011), Impurrfect (03-10-2011), SuperMega (03-10-2011)
Old 03-10-2011, 12:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
Community Greeter
 
Impurrfect's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,174
I went through that, but I learned to change the "nevers"...I never have to wonder what I did the day/night before, I never have to deal with consequences I put off for "when I get clean" (I'm a recovering crack addict); I never have to look at the faces of my family and see the deep pain I was causing them; I never have to feel like a totally worthless human being again.

It took time to change the nevers, but it happens the longer we work our recovery

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
__________________
"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain


(Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches [RIP] and Mots - Mouth Of The South)
Impurrfect is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Impurrfect For This Useful Post:
Bombshell (03-10-2011), findingthepath (03-10-2011), Inafishbowl (03-10-2011), LexieCat (03-10-2011), RebelAngel (03-10-2011)
Old 03-10-2011, 01:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7
Blog Entries: 2
It's nice to hear the positives to the Never Again, especially after I've been spending the last few days kinda dwelling on them. Thanks for the post Inafishbowl. I'll try to keep that in mind when the Never gremlins launch their next attack.
3TimeCharmer is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 3TimeCharmer For This Useful Post:
Impurrfect (03-10-2011)
Old 03-10-2011, 04:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yup, your friend is very wise.

The most hopeful thing I ever heard was at my first AA meeting, when I was told, "You never have to feel this way again."

For me, that WAY outweighed all the other "nevers".

I also look at it this way--I drank a lifetime's worth of booze, already. I'm not missing out, I simply scarfed down my share already.
__________________
Lexie
~ one breath at a time
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
LexieCat is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
3TimeCharmer (03-10-2011), Impurrfect (03-10-2011), JoeCree (03-10-2011), MIBluebird (03-10-2011), RebelAngel (03-10-2011), TotoBidule (03-10-2011)
Old 03-10-2011, 05:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
SuperMega's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Flevoland
Posts: 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
I also look at it this way--I drank a lifetime's worth of booze, already. I'm not missing out, I simply scarfed down my share already.
Well that's one way of putting it, ha! I love it!
SuperMega is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to SuperMega For This Useful Post:
Impurrfect (03-10-2011)
Old 03-10-2011, 11:33 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Eddiebuckle's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 1,588
I went through that phase, and it really is a matter of perspective. I have come to realize and accept that although the ritual looked the same when I drank with others, we were actually doing two very different things. For them the drink was secondary to the event, for me the drinking was the event. I had Christmas dinner with my gf family last year, and was asked (rather sheepishly) if it was OK if they had wine with dinner. I was feeling fine, none of the squirrely thoughts that still occassionally strike, and said I was fine with it. I watched her parents, sister & nephew share a bottle of wine and marvelled that at the end of the meal there was still wine left in the bottle. I would have needed the entire bottle just to survive until dinner.
Eddiebuckle is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Eddiebuckle For This Useful Post:
MIBluebird (03-10-2011), Reubena (03-10-2011), TotoBidule (03-10-2011)
Old 03-10-2011, 01:21 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Inafishbowl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 264
Quote:
I also look at it this way--I drank a lifetime's worth of booze, already. I'm not missing out, I simply scarfed down my share already.
Lexie, this is funny that you share this. The same friend says she looks at it like this. God gave her a certain number of drink tickets and she used them all up.

Quote:
I went through that, but I learned to change the "nevers"...I never have to wonder what I did the day/night before, I never have to deal with consequences I put off for "when I get clean" (I'm a recovering crack addict); I never have to look at the faces of my family and see the deep pain I was causing them; I never have to feel like a totally worthless human being again.
Rethinking the Nevers really helped me too. Thanks for adding it, Impurrfect. I am for sure in a stage of romanticizing all of my beautiful glasses of wine and champagne. Not good at all.
__________________
"I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes"
~P!nk
Inafishbowl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:38 AM.