wise words I heard today
 

I was talking to a friend I met at a meeting today. And mostly joking, throwing a tantrum about all of the *nevers*. I'll never have sake again. I'll never have a glass of red wine again. I'm going to a St. Patrick's day party at my dad's and I'll NEVER be able to have Irish Coffee again...blah!

She said something that really resinated with me. She said, "you need to think of it differently. All those people at that party *HAVE* to drink. How great that you don't!."

It made me feel a little better, anyway.

That is very true ......

It's entertaining to go out w friends and watch the normal drinkers have 2 cocktails and slir and behave poorly,one realizes how potent booze is and how stupid it makes us look,never isn't such a bad thing after all.best T

I really like that response your friend gave you......:c011: It really is a positive thing not having to drink on those occasions!

Even better is how you feel the day after the holiday. It was so nice this year getting up on New Year's day feeling good - now that's the way to celebrate!:c031:

I went through that, but I learned to change the "nevers"...I never have to wonder what I did the day/night before, I never have to deal with consequences I put off for "when I get clean" (I'm a recovering crack addict); I never have to look at the faces of my family and see the deep pain I was causing them; I never have to feel like a totally worthless human being again.

It took time to change the nevers, but it happens the longer we work our recovery:)

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

It's nice to hear the positives to the Never Again, especially after I've been spending the last few days kinda dwelling on them. Thanks for the post Inafishbowl. I'll try to keep that in mind when the Never gremlins launch their next attack.

Yup, your friend is very wise.

The most hopeful thing I ever heard was at my first AA meeting, when I was told, "You never have to feel this way again."

For me, that WAY outweighed all the other "nevers".

I also look at it this way--I drank a lifetime's worth of booze, already. I'm not missing out, I simply scarfed down my share already. :)

Well that's one way of putting it, ha! I love it!

I went through that phase, and it really is a matter of perspective. I have come to realize and accept that although the ritual looked the same when I drank with others, we were actually doing two very different things. For them the drink was secondary to the event, for me the drinking was the event. I had Christmas dinner with my gf family last year, and was asked (rather sheepishly) if it was OK if they had wine with dinner. I was feeling fine, none of the squirrely thoughts that still occassionally strike, and said I was fine with it. I watched her parents, sister & nephew share a bottle of wine and marvelled that at the end of the meal there was still wine left in the bottle. I would have needed the entire bottle just to survive until dinner.

Lexie, this is funny that you share this. The same friend says she looks at it like this. God gave her a certain number of drink tickets and she used them all up.

Rethinking the Nevers really helped me too. Thanks for adding it, Impurrfect. I am for sure in a stage of romanticizing all of my beautiful glasses of wine and champagne. Not good at all.