Hi...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 81
Hi...
I'm new to all this. Beginning today actually after
a week at an all inclusive and realizing that, since
I went with my sister, I should be able to control
myself. But I couldn't. I don't even know half the
embarrassing things that I did, not only on that trip
but throughout the six years of binge drinking. I feel
like I am too young to give up drinking forever.. but
I know that if it doesn't happen now it will later and
be more of a struggle.
I can't stop at one and I hate it. My mother is an
alcoholic and I never want to get to that point. So
I'm starting my journey to sobriety today and it
scares me. I was reading everyones stories and I can
relate to so many of them. I would appreciate any
help/feedback as I begin a new chapter in my life.
Quick question for anyone that wants to reply. Did
you realize that you needed to stop at a young age?
Anyone that did (I am only 21) how difficult was it to
be in a society and at an age where all that seems to
happen is drinking?
Thanks guys.
a week at an all inclusive and realizing that, since
I went with my sister, I should be able to control
myself. But I couldn't. I don't even know half the
embarrassing things that I did, not only on that trip
but throughout the six years of binge drinking. I feel
like I am too young to give up drinking forever.. but
I know that if it doesn't happen now it will later and
be more of a struggle.
I can't stop at one and I hate it. My mother is an
alcoholic and I never want to get to that point. So
I'm starting my journey to sobriety today and it
scares me. I was reading everyones stories and I can
relate to so many of them. I would appreciate any
help/feedback as I begin a new chapter in my life.
Quick question for anyone that wants to reply. Did
you realize that you needed to stop at a young age?
Anyone that did (I am only 21) how difficult was it to
be in a society and at an age where all that seems to
happen is drinking?
Thanks guys.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR....
You had replied to a thread 6 years old so I moved
you out so more members will notice.
We have many members here who are winning over alcohol
and 21 is not too young to find a
healthier ..more productive and interesting future.
No more blackouts are also a big plus
I'm glad you found us...
You had replied to a thread 6 years old so I moved
you out so more members will notice.
We have many members here who are winning over alcohol
and 21 is not too young to find a
healthier ..more productive and interesting future.
No more blackouts are also a big plus
I'm glad you found us...
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Welcome Jil! I understand you are scared. You have a right to be, and it's ok to be. You have identified that alcohol causes problems for you...it is smart to try to go without it.
I stopped drinking at 34, but I didn't start till 31...so it's all relative. Good luck.
I stopped drinking at 34, but I didn't start till 31...so it's all relative. Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome Jil
I probably realised I needed to stop at an early age...but I paid it no heed and ended up drinking for 20 years more - I'm very familiar with the kind of week you've had.
You're very wise to be considering changing your future now
You'll find a lot of encouragement here
Welcome
D
I probably realised I needed to stop at an early age...but I paid it no heed and ended up drinking for 20 years more - I'm very familiar with the kind of week you've had.
You're very wise to be considering changing your future now
You'll find a lot of encouragement here
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 267
Hi Jil! Welcome! I'm so happy that you want to make your life better! Without drinking you will never have times that you can't remember or other bad effects of alcohol abuse. I knew at a young age that I had to stop (17 - I drove drunk with my sister in the car. She was ok thank God, but I almost died and had to have brain surgery.) but I continued for another 24 years and regret it. I am trying to quit now and it might have been much easier if I quit at your age. God bless!
Welcome! I'm so happy that you want to make your life better! Without drinking you will never have times that you can't remember or other bad effects of alcohol abuse. I knew at a young age that I had to stop (17 - I drove drunk with my sister in the car. She was ok thank God, but I almost died and had to have brain surgery.) but I continued for another 24 years and regret it. I am trying to quit now and it might have been much easier if I quit at your age. God bless!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
Dear Jil,
Welcome to SR and congratulations on taking this very important step
I only wish I had come to my senses at the young age of 21 but it took me another 17 years to get my act together and to stop drinking.. As you said, one drink was never enough and I was already blacking out at your age and even younger.. I also thought that I was 'too young' to stop drinking at the age of 38 and thought that life, or at least my social life, would be over but that is so far from the truth! In the last year I've come such a long way that I almost can't believe it - I have gotten down to my ideal weight for the first time in years (cholesterol levels down to rock bottom and my skin is glowing :-)), I feel much healthier and happier, I've made new friends whose lives don't revolve around drink/the pub, I've gotten involved in other activities as I have so much more time on my hands these days - basically I'm claiming back my life which was falling to pieces... It's also great to remember conversations with people and not to have hangovers and blackouts any longer!! This week I have 3 after work parties/drinks and I'm really looking forward to going to them and I won't touch alcohol or worry about drinking too much or make a show of myself on front of colleagues :-). But I'll have great conversations with people and feel confident and happier about myself and actually enjoy these occasions which I didn't in the past being a shy person and having alcohol as my 'crutch'...
Well done to you for realising you have a problem Jil - please take this step as it will make all the difference in your life. You will get great advice, support, friendship and love from the SR community - I wouldn't have gotten this far without them!!
Big hugs,
Almath
Welcome to SR and congratulations on taking this very important step
I only wish I had come to my senses at the young age of 21 but it took me another 17 years to get my act together and to stop drinking.. As you said, one drink was never enough and I was already blacking out at your age and even younger.. I also thought that I was 'too young' to stop drinking at the age of 38 and thought that life, or at least my social life, would be over but that is so far from the truth! In the last year I've come such a long way that I almost can't believe it - I have gotten down to my ideal weight for the first time in years (cholesterol levels down to rock bottom and my skin is glowing :-)), I feel much healthier and happier, I've made new friends whose lives don't revolve around drink/the pub, I've gotten involved in other activities as I have so much more time on my hands these days - basically I'm claiming back my life which was falling to pieces... It's also great to remember conversations with people and not to have hangovers and blackouts any longer!! This week I have 3 after work parties/drinks and I'm really looking forward to going to them and I won't touch alcohol or worry about drinking too much or make a show of myself on front of colleagues :-). But I'll have great conversations with people and feel confident and happier about myself and actually enjoy these occasions which I didn't in the past being a shy person and having alcohol as my 'crutch'...
Well done to you for realising you have a problem Jil - please take this step as it will make all the difference in your life. You will get great advice, support, friendship and love from the SR community - I wouldn't have gotten this far without them!!
Big hugs,
Almath
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Welcome! They have young people in Alcoholics Anonymous groups and events.
If you find out where the AA meetings are, and go...meet up with some members your age...
I am sure they will open up a whole new world for you!
If you find out where the AA meetings are, and go...meet up with some members your age...
I am sure they will open up a whole new world for you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: London, England
Posts: 211
I went my 1st AA meeting at 22 and thought this:
MAN I need to control my drinking otherwise I'll have to go back THERE.
I spent the next 5 years miserable, paranoid, physically ill and full of shame, regret, blackouts and self-loathing.
I went back into AA on the 6th Feb 2010 at 27 and haven't had a drink since.
On the 26th May 2010 I decided I wanted what the others had (REAL peace and freedom) and give up smoking weed and taking unprescribed valium.
I have now been clean and sober for 9 months, my life has changed.
I still see many of my friends, but the really hard drinking ones I have moved away from, I choose to spend my Friday nights drinking coffee and having a good laugh with other people in recovery. I am happy to still see my other friends for lunch or pop over for a cup of tea and a chat, or if they are going dancing, I just don't want to sit in a pub all night listening to the same story over and over. There are lots and lots of people in AA in their 20's and meetings are a great way to meet new people who have the same goals you do. I went camping last year with about 14 sober guys and there was a big trip to Spain for us too.
I had a very painful breakup with my BF of 2 years who had initially gave me an ultimatum to stop drinking. Things were great until I got completely clean and he wouldn't quit the weed. I realised he had issues of his own and felt betrayed that I had done so much work on myself for him to not make the same compromise. I am now dating someone in recovery, he is emotionally available to me and the relationship is the healthiest I have ever had.
I am doing better in my job and have actually been approached by a major organisation in the UK to interview with them this week in a role which would be a big step up for me. I would not have previously gained a good reputation to have generated such interest.
I have a better relationship with my family, I regulary see my 4 nephews and me and my Mum are very good friends now, I used to have a very strained relationship with her which is a great shame as she is a wonderful person. I took her for granted and used her for money before which I have forgiven myself for and make a living amends to her each day by being a better daughter.
I recently got a new car with the money I save not drinking and using.
My skin is better, my weight is healthier, I look much much better people compliment me on it often.
Most importantly, I like myself, I can sleep at night, I have made peace with my past (my Dad was an alcoholic like your Mum and died when I was 15) and I don't fear the future.
There IS a better life out there for you I promise you just have to want it. I didn't want what was on offer when I was 22, but my friend is 21 and 7 months sober. I hope you can be as bright as she has been!
What do you want to be?
Hugs
MAN I need to control my drinking otherwise I'll have to go back THERE.
I spent the next 5 years miserable, paranoid, physically ill and full of shame, regret, blackouts and self-loathing.
I went back into AA on the 6th Feb 2010 at 27 and haven't had a drink since.
On the 26th May 2010 I decided I wanted what the others had (REAL peace and freedom) and give up smoking weed and taking unprescribed valium.
I have now been clean and sober for 9 months, my life has changed.
I still see many of my friends, but the really hard drinking ones I have moved away from, I choose to spend my Friday nights drinking coffee and having a good laugh with other people in recovery. I am happy to still see my other friends for lunch or pop over for a cup of tea and a chat, or if they are going dancing, I just don't want to sit in a pub all night listening to the same story over and over. There are lots and lots of people in AA in their 20's and meetings are a great way to meet new people who have the same goals you do. I went camping last year with about 14 sober guys and there was a big trip to Spain for us too.
I had a very painful breakup with my BF of 2 years who had initially gave me an ultimatum to stop drinking. Things were great until I got completely clean and he wouldn't quit the weed. I realised he had issues of his own and felt betrayed that I had done so much work on myself for him to not make the same compromise. I am now dating someone in recovery, he is emotionally available to me and the relationship is the healthiest I have ever had.
I am doing better in my job and have actually been approached by a major organisation in the UK to interview with them this week in a role which would be a big step up for me. I would not have previously gained a good reputation to have generated such interest.
I have a better relationship with my family, I regulary see my 4 nephews and me and my Mum are very good friends now, I used to have a very strained relationship with her which is a great shame as she is a wonderful person. I took her for granted and used her for money before which I have forgiven myself for and make a living amends to her each day by being a better daughter.
I recently got a new car with the money I save not drinking and using.
My skin is better, my weight is healthier, I look much much better people compliment me on it often.
Most importantly, I like myself, I can sleep at night, I have made peace with my past (my Dad was an alcoholic like your Mum and died when I was 15) and I don't fear the future.
There IS a better life out there for you I promise you just have to want it. I didn't want what was on offer when I was 22, but my friend is 21 and 7 months sober. I hope you can be as bright as she has been!
What do you want to be?
Hugs
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
My first husband got sober at 21--he just celebrated 31 years of sobriety.
He loves his life, has many friends and interests and activities (including mountain climbing and photography).
He's still active in AA and has a lot of fun with his friends in the Fellowship.
He loves his life, has many friends and interests and activities (including mountain climbing and photography).
He's still active in AA and has a lot of fun with his friends in the Fellowship.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Jil 
Did you realize that you needed to stop at a young age?
But the time I realized I had a real problem, I was way past the point of being able to control it on my own. Although I did try for many painful and fruitless years. Lots of attempts at stopping by willpower, fear, and self-knowledge. Lots of failures.
Just seeking help wasn't enough for me either. I had to do what others had done to recover. That meant taking the Steps as outlined in AA's Big Book.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 28
Welcome
I stopped drinking in my late 30's still not fully understanding my problem... it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I am so glad you have come to the point you have at such an young age. You have your whole life ahead of you. Sobriety is a gift.Please make the most of this gift as we are not guaranteed another.
I know younger people of your age and they are having a WONDERFUL life within recovery. In and out of the rooms. I would have liked to have known at 21 what I know now.
Wishing you all the best
I stopped drinking in my late 30's still not fully understanding my problem... it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I am so glad you have come to the point you have at such an young age. You have your whole life ahead of you. Sobriety is a gift.Please make the most of this gift as we are not guaranteed another.
I know younger people of your age and they are having a WONDERFUL life within recovery. In and out of the rooms. I would have liked to have known at 21 what I know now.
Wishing you all the best
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Il
Posts: 144
Hi Jill,
I attended my first and only AA meeting when I was 21. I like you could tell that drinking for me was not like it was for others. I then blew it off and spent the next 20 years drunk. I am sober now for only 5 days. I wish I was smart enough then to trust my instincts.
Be smarter then me, and Good luck
I attended my first and only AA meeting when I was 21. I like you could tell that drinking for me was not like it was for others. I then blew it off and spent the next 20 years drunk. I am sober now for only 5 days. I wish I was smart enough then to trust my instincts.
Be smarter then me, and Good luck
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I wish I had realized at a young age that it would become a problem. Hindsight is 20/20.
I wasted 30 years of my life in a bottle.
There is a society out there for people that don't 'have' to drink.
My mother has never had a drink and she is still surviving after 83 years! =)
Glad you're here.
I wasted 30 years of my life in a bottle.
There is a society out there for people that don't 'have' to drink.
My mother has never had a drink and she is still surviving after 83 years! =)
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
The thing is, Jil, alcoholics tend to surround themselves with others who drink. So, despite our age, alcohol is often the only thing happening. If it's not, we make it happen. Rarely (if ever) does an alcoholic grow out of drinking. If we're alcoholic at 21, we're alcoholic at 31 and 41 and 51...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Jill, glad you are with us!!
You will find plenty of support here and just reading through this thread there is much here already
We have all ages/backgrounds here and life in general when it comes to addiction. Seeing a problem now and wanting to change is the best thing you can do. As we all know addiction is progressive.......and I wish when I started back in my 20s that I had taken the necessary measures when I realized that I too couldn't just have 1 drink. It was all or nothing ya know.
Way to go and looking forward to the journey.
You will find plenty of support here and just reading through this thread there is much here already
We have all ages/backgrounds here and life in general when it comes to addiction. Seeing a problem now and wanting to change is the best thing you can do. As we all know addiction is progressive.......and I wish when I started back in my 20s that I had taken the necessary measures when I realized that I too couldn't just have 1 drink. It was all or nothing ya know.
Way to go and looking forward to the journey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 38
Hello!
I knew my drinking was bad when I was your age and its taken 6 years to actually do somethings about it - which i do regret but i cant change the past only the future!
In my early twenties all my friends when out clubbing etc but they never got as drunk as me and they could stop - i couldn't! Most of them finished uni - i didnt and now have to go back to get my degree! Most of them have sussessful jobs - i don't!
If I had have tackled my drinking when I knew it was a problem then my life would have been different and I would have been alot healthier and happier.
You've found a great place here - lots of supportive people and you will find support and advice (its helped me loads)
Don't wait as long as I have to get help
I knew my drinking was bad when I was your age and its taken 6 years to actually do somethings about it - which i do regret but i cant change the past only the future!
In my early twenties all my friends when out clubbing etc but they never got as drunk as me and they could stop - i couldn't! Most of them finished uni - i didnt and now have to go back to get my degree! Most of them have sussessful jobs - i don't!
If I had have tackled my drinking when I knew it was a problem then my life would have been different and I would have been alot healthier and happier.
You've found a great place here - lots of supportive people and you will find support and advice (its helped me loads)
Don't wait as long as I have to get help
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Vermont at heart
Posts: 47
Jil,
It's awesome you're taking an honest look at your drinking. I can relate to what you're going through. When I turned 21 and could legally buy alcohol, right away I started drinking almost daily. I remember actually thinking at one point, "I better slow it down with all this drinking. I love alcohol so much I don't want to have to quit." That really should have been tip-off.
It was easy for me to ignore the signs. After all, I was in my early twenties, and I thought I was too young and hadn't been drinking long enough to be an alcoholic. I like how Caroline Knapp describes the denial of alcoholism: "You know and you don't know. You know and you [I]won't[I] know." Even after I acknowledged I had a problem, I was too afraid to face life without the escape of drinking.
Time adds up. At 23 I thought things couldn't get any worse, and I kept drinking. By 24 my life had fallen apart even more, and I kept drinking. Last month I turned 25, and the thought of spending another year like this was just unbearable. Today is my 23rd day sober, and I feel so much healthier and clear-headed than I did a month ago. If my 21-year-old self could see the extent that drinking will cause her life to unravel in just a few short years, she'd be horrified.
The people here at SR have really helped me feel supported and hopeful for the future. Welcome, and I hope you keep reading and posting.
It's awesome you're taking an honest look at your drinking. I can relate to what you're going through. When I turned 21 and could legally buy alcohol, right away I started drinking almost daily. I remember actually thinking at one point, "I better slow it down with all this drinking. I love alcohol so much I don't want to have to quit." That really should have been tip-off.
It was easy for me to ignore the signs. After all, I was in my early twenties, and I thought I was too young and hadn't been drinking long enough to be an alcoholic. I like how Caroline Knapp describes the denial of alcoholism: "You know and you don't know. You know and you [I]won't[I] know." Even after I acknowledged I had a problem, I was too afraid to face life without the escape of drinking.
Time adds up. At 23 I thought things couldn't get any worse, and I kept drinking. By 24 my life had fallen apart even more, and I kept drinking. Last month I turned 25, and the thought of spending another year like this was just unbearable. Today is my 23rd day sober, and I feel so much healthier and clear-headed than I did a month ago. If my 21-year-old self could see the extent that drinking will cause her life to unravel in just a few short years, she'd be horrified.
The people here at SR have really helped me feel supported and hopeful for the future. Welcome, and I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 81
Thank you so much CarolD, I am so lost.. on this site and in life. I had a bottle of vodka in my cupboard that I gave to a friend today. Ever since deciding to change my life in this way, I have felt like a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulder, like some others have said. I felt happy yesterday. I was telling my good friends about my decision, and a lot of them were saying 'Oh this is a great idea, but it's only temporary. As soon as you are able to control yourself you will be fine.' But I know I never will.. it's devastating to admit. But I have a problem, and expressing myself on this website and hearing all the positive outcomes and support is already helping me so much. Since I have been binge drinking, I always knew there was a problem but I thought I was the only one that couldn't control it. But now I know differently. Every post I read last night made me cry.. I can't believe there are so many people that don't even know me, yet are more supportive than so many in my life. Thank you guys so much, I'll keep you posted on what comes ahead. For now, I am four days sober.
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