jme2788

I was reading online about the stage in recovery that occurs after early abstinence in which your "pink cloud" disappears and you are left with basically feeling vulnerable and wondering if sober life is for you. Has anybody experienced this personally or have any information it?? Lately I've been wondering if I shouldn't go back to the way I was living, which would mean going to work, smoking weed throughout the day, and drinking at home. As a friend told me, my misery can be refunded at any time. When I feel like this I usually end up calling someone who's got more time than me and telling them exactly how I feel and usually it comes back to the fact that I'm thinking too much about me. I can't disagree with them because when I'm not thinking about me I'm very content! Why shouldn't I be? I've got a bed to sleep in, food to eat, I'm in school, etc.

Just wondering if anybody would like to share their personal experience with it.

Anna

Hi,

I hope that you continue your recovery.

I never experienced the 'pink cloud', not even a bit. I was a mess when I stopped drinking and was dealing with a lot of guilt and shame. That took months to overcome, and by that time, I was content moving forward with my recovery.

SSIL75

I feel like I went through it a bit. I'm 35 and alcohol was my 'go to' solution for EVERYTHING for >15 years. So for the past 6 mos (sober) I've definitely felt lost from time to time. But I'll just give the advice I seem to type out multiple times a day b/c it really works for me: I practice new solutions all the time. As a 35 year old mother of 2 I find myself sober but woefully unprepared to handle stress, anxiety, happiness, everything. I don't know wtf to do. So I just keep trying new things and it's actually fun and quickly new things become habit.

Some ideas I get from here but I do a lot of 'What Would A Normal Person Do?" talk. All the things that seemed lame to me before. I try those and often they work.

smacked

That's when I sought some heavy duty counseling to keep me afloat.

I didn't realize, til I had enough sober time to actually REALIZE, I had lots of **** to work on.

Dee74

If I ever wanted to go back to the way I was living, I'd look around at what was wrong with my life now jme.

If you think you are a little too much in your own head, maybe try some volunteering or some kind of service work? It worked for me

It's really important to keep reaching out too - keep talking to your friends in recovery, sponsor or whoever.

D

Buffoon

This is my first post, and also my first "sharing" of such information with anyone.

I stopped drinking on Monday, after a Superbowl party. I had just come back from a 3 day bender in Florida where I embarrased myself in front of some respectable (but also heavy drinking) friends. I have been sober for a couple of days, and I hope to continue. However, I am in Sales and I know it will be inevitable that I drink again. My hope is to contain the abuse.

I've been drinking way too much for over 20 years, the last 15 of which have been the worst. I think of the damage to my brain and my liver and I want to stop. I usually get a six pack on the ride home from work and polish it off before I get through the door. I know how wrong this is.

My kids are 9 and 10 years old and are beginning to understand I am not the most healthy guy. I am a bad example and I want to stop.

The last two days have been nice, I can actually feel OK when I go to sleep. I even have dreams, which I have not had in years. I feel somewhat depressed but I think I can go another day.

I hope I log in again tomorrow.

-Buffoon

doggonecarl

I don't know if its the same stage of recovery you are asking about, RME, but I recently went though a spell of dispair where it seemed inevitable that I would return to my drinking ways. It wasn't something I wanted to do, just that NOT being sober would be so much easier than trying to remain sober.

Did I fall off my pink cloud? I don't know. I do know I was close to throwing in the towel because I didn't feel I had the strength to continue. Lucky for me, it only lasted a day. I'm back on track with my recovery that ever so thankful I didn't drink. As hard as sobriety is to maintain, it will be harder to find if I relapse. Good Luck!

Welcome Buffoon. When you log in tomorrow, tell us how you are going to contain the abuse?

Dee74

Welcome Buffoon -

You'll find support here.
I recommend you start your own thread though - you'll get more responses that way

D

Buffoon

Thanks. I'm not very good about navigating this kind of a site but maybe if I stick with it I will get better at it. Sorry I posted something on the other persons thread. I'll figure it out

Buffoon

JME2788-

I too am feeling what you describe as a pink cloud. I'm oing to avoid getting near a drink today. I am taking the advice I've seen on many other posts and going home a different way and taking it one day at a time. Hope this helps, I have only been sober since after the Superbowl, so I am a short-timer, but it has to start somewhere, sometime.

I quit weed a long time ago, and I got through that, although I used to smoke all the time at one point. Maybe I can do the same with the booze.

One day at a time-

Good luck

LiveLoveLearn82

I'm on day 5 and yeah, I think that cloud is disappearing a little bit. I was at a big work party last night (drinking club soda like it was the only thing keeping me alive!), and it was awkward, and not all that fun, and I was thinking "Ugh, is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life??"
I kept telling myself that it's worth staying sober for the fact that I hate waking up wondering what happened last night, or forgetting conversations I had with people, etc. I just hope I learn to have some fun going out without the booze.

NEOMARXIST

I think the answer is that if smoking weed during the day and drinking at home was so good then why did you bother to get sober in the first place?

I know for me that I'm an alcoholic and an addict so smoking herb and drinking would just turn into a massive bender; work, University and life would go straight out of the window and so would my mental health too. It would quite literally cost me everything plus I would just end up doing loads of coke, E's, speed, acid and anything else I could get too, as like I say I'm an addict as well as an alkie. I would crash and burn incredibly quickly and it would be crying into a can of Tennants super time at 7.00am.

What's great about my sobriety and recovery is that it gives me hope and that I can, and I am, changing my life for the better. If I was to take a drink then I would erase all hope from my life and be signing up for an extended bout of misery with the only escape a blackout drunk.

I can relate to feeling p*ssed-off in recovery and I know that lack of gratitude often goes hand in hand. It isn't always easy but it is always worth it.

If I wasn't an alcoholic and addict then sure I could have some beers and some herb but I am, and besides why would I want them anyway? I couldn't think of any good reason to wish to escape myself, but like i say it ain't always like that naturally, that's when it's time to reach out and step up your recovery in some way to get back to the peace and contentment.

All The Best, Thanks for sharing, Peace.

Toronto68

I think I'm at the point where I even question whether I know what Pink Cloud is, especially after reading that original post. I think I had a sense of elation (about being free from alcohol), and maybe these were around 2 and 6 months. But now I look at it as probably circumstantial too (something good was going on at the same time). For all I know, it never really occurred. The only thing that I can be sure of is that I was a chronic drinker and that I stopped drinking altogether. The feelings? They shift.

I don't think I remember hearing about the Wall before, but this metaphor reminds me of instances when my mind would be open for negotiation and pondering whether life was better or not. For some people this means actually getting alcohol and then tossing it, but I haven't experienced it to that extent (just the thoughts, which pass and don't turn into anything else). And I guess I would say those instances are vulnerable moments. I don't know how to see it as a Wall though, a block of time that is different from another block of time since quitting.