Why did you start drink?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I was never a normal drinker - I drank to excess...but it was easy to do that cos it was easy to find other people who drank that way too.
I drank because I liked it. I liked the way it made me feel - at least for the first few years.
By the time I'd grown the hate the person it made me into and the way it ruled my life and wrecked my relationships, I couldn't stop....more to the point I didn't want to. I just wanted to control it....to get back to the way 'things used to be'....to have my cake and eat it too.
It took me 20 years to work out that was impossible.
D
I drank because I liked it. I liked the way it made me feel - at least for the first few years.
By the time I'd grown the hate the person it made me into and the way it ruled my life and wrecked my relationships, I couldn't stop....more to the point I didn't want to. I just wanted to control it....to get back to the way 'things used to be'....to have my cake and eat it too.
It took me 20 years to work out that was impossible.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I started to drink to fit in in college...I actually did not pick up early. I actually hated beer and the hard stuff but everyone else was doing it. When I lived in italy at 21 I discovered wine and that's when I really began to drink. Its also when I realized drinking numbed that in life which caused me pain.
I think I was aware I was problematic when I was 25 and drank a bottle of wine or two a night on a regular basis by myself but I convinced myself I was just being cosmopolitan. By the time I was 32-33 I knew I had a problem and I tried to stop and couldn't. As soon as I realized it was a problem it started to escalate and the last 5 years werea nightmare of trying to quit but being unable.
Almost 6 months sober
I think I was aware I was problematic when I was 25 and drank a bottle of wine or two a night on a regular basis by myself but I convinced myself I was just being cosmopolitan. By the time I was 32-33 I knew I had a problem and I tried to stop and couldn't. As soon as I realized it was a problem it started to escalate and the last 5 years werea nightmare of trying to quit but being unable.
Almost 6 months sober
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
I think the same reason as many. Peer pressure, especially considering drugs.
First drinks were when I was at a birthday party when I was 16. I knew my older sister liked screwdrivers. So I drank a couple of those. Had my first experience with that warm feeling inside and loved it. Should have known something was wrong, because I ended up being the only one asked to leave the party before the night was through.
All I know is, by the age of 19 1/2 I was on my first methadone maintenance program for heroin use and almost died from relapsing with Hepatitis B at the time.
Came out of the hospital with it the first time, and was in the woods with a needle in my arm the first night out.
Got diagnosed with HEP C when I was 10 years clean, in 1997. Moved up the alphabet one notch.
Thankfully, He has seen fit to allow me to survive to tell the tale.
First drinks were when I was at a birthday party when I was 16. I knew my older sister liked screwdrivers. So I drank a couple of those. Had my first experience with that warm feeling inside and loved it. Should have known something was wrong, because I ended up being the only one asked to leave the party before the night was through.
All I know is, by the age of 19 1/2 I was on my first methadone maintenance program for heroin use and almost died from relapsing with Hepatitis B at the time.
Came out of the hospital with it the first time, and was in the woods with a needle in my arm the first night out.
Got diagnosed with HEP C when I was 10 years clean, in 1997. Moved up the alphabet one notch.
Thankfully, He has seen fit to allow me to survive to tell the tale.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
I didn't have the rebellion idea in me for it. My version of that was cigarettes for a brief month and other goofy dabblings in changing appearance. I tried a sip of a wine cooler and shocked my peers for not liking it. It stayed that way until after I was of age.
Once I was, I drank it just to fit in and only liked it a little, awkwardly. Then I became more accustomed to it and had it at parties and bars, and I was starting to have fun with life for a change.
But all during that year I was legal, I had some things to deal with:
-horrifying changes in my mother because of her disease, which included witnessing a horrifying seizure
-my father's extra heart attacks
-my trouble over my devotion to my religion at the time while coming to terms with what was only recently taken off the books as a disease (homosexuality)
-my first failures at love
-worrying about what I should do for a career, how to make it
-other things that were nuisances like insomnia and nervousness
I didn't drink over these things chronically when starting out, but they've been a huge part of my life. I drank more consistently once I started to realize I was tired of being a nomad and had to settle in and work and give up my romanticism. So, by the time I was drinking every day, robotically:
-my mother had finally died
-my father had long since died
-I had been saying I was an atheist and tried to be some semblance of happy while gay (and still think of it as a disease even when I try not to)
-got worse at relationships
-got great in my work most of the time, but was a workaholic to match and drank to deal with any boredom or emptiness to be found in it (little point in avoiding the arts as a den of drugs by this point)
-rarely had insomnia and all the crazy shifts and was often courageous, I guess
Notice how few of those things alcohol solved. Actually none of them were solved outright, but the insomnia was kept at bay and there was an alleviation from self-loathing sometimes. It was also fun when it was more social, but the pleasure in it was more and more difficult to obtain.
I eventually "fired" drinking as a coping method. It was easier than I had expected when I got to that point - a lot easier, and I think I am lucky to be able to say that. Not so lucky when it comes to quitting smoking (which I did pick up again a few years after that single month I mentioned at the beginning). I want to keep drinking out of the picture and am still watching for what I should do about it next.
Once I was, I drank it just to fit in and only liked it a little, awkwardly. Then I became more accustomed to it and had it at parties and bars, and I was starting to have fun with life for a change.
But all during that year I was legal, I had some things to deal with:
-horrifying changes in my mother because of her disease, which included witnessing a horrifying seizure
-my father's extra heart attacks
-my trouble over my devotion to my religion at the time while coming to terms with what was only recently taken off the books as a disease (homosexuality)
-my first failures at love
-worrying about what I should do for a career, how to make it
-other things that were nuisances like insomnia and nervousness
I didn't drink over these things chronically when starting out, but they've been a huge part of my life. I drank more consistently once I started to realize I was tired of being a nomad and had to settle in and work and give up my romanticism. So, by the time I was drinking every day, robotically:
-my mother had finally died
-my father had long since died
-I had been saying I was an atheist and tried to be some semblance of happy while gay (and still think of it as a disease even when I try not to)
-got worse at relationships
-got great in my work most of the time, but was a workaholic to match and drank to deal with any boredom or emptiness to be found in it (little point in avoiding the arts as a den of drugs by this point)
-rarely had insomnia and all the crazy shifts and was often courageous, I guess
Notice how few of those things alcohol solved. Actually none of them were solved outright, but the insomnia was kept at bay and there was an alleviation from self-loathing sometimes. It was also fun when it was more social, but the pleasure in it was more and more difficult to obtain.
I eventually "fired" drinking as a coping method. It was easier than I had expected when I got to that point - a lot easier, and I think I am lucky to be able to say that. Not so lucky when it comes to quitting smoking (which I did pick up again a few years after that single month I mentioned at the beginning). I want to keep drinking out of the picture and am still watching for what I should do about it next.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
I first drank because I thought it would help me sleep. It quickly got out of control. It's not a good sleep aid but really good for ruining your sleep all the way around. But, I had to keep testing it! LOL It's so strange because I don't know why I kept doing it.
I ultimately realized I was an alcoholic right from the beginning.
Love,
Lenina
I ultimately realized I was an alcoholic right from the beginning.
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Very shy, I drank my first drink and discovered the benefits of not feeling as self conscious. I was only 15, and by my college years, I had gone totally off the rails with it. Discovering that it was the road to nowhere, I quickly drank even more rather than face responsibility of adulthood.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I started drinking in the first place halfway through college. I did because I didn't think there was any reason not to. I had a couple drinks with friends and maybe got drunk at a party once a month--wasn't unusual or anything.
When I started drinking heavily, which inevitably lead quickly into alcoholism, was after an engagement ended. Wasn't the first time I'd drank heavily to numb a painful emotional situation, but that drinking didn't stop after a few days but about four months. Never been right since.
When I started drinking heavily, which inevitably lead quickly into alcoholism, was after an engagement ended. Wasn't the first time I'd drank heavily to numb a painful emotional situation, but that drinking didn't stop after a few days but about four months. Never been right since.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
I started drinking at home with my grand mother and parents. My grand mother would give me beer for dinner when I was about7-10 years. Also liquor filled chocolates were one of her favorites. When I staarted going out in night it was normal to start drinking, it made things better. Finally after I left to college I bought mysel one evening my 1st bottle of wine and cheese and finished it. I enjoyed the feeling, I just wanted to relax. I was afraid of people and how they would judge me, always felt insecure. Drinking helped me to be more social, thats how it started..... From there on I drunk, to not be lonely, to relax and I was always told I should have a drink, because i deserve it. When we went on family vacations my parents in the evenings would alswyas have wine and beer and they told me it is the best in the world. So for years I thought having a bottle of wine in the evneing is my reward for working hard. It took me till 35 when a friend pointed out to me I maybe alcoholic and it sunk in. I owe this friend till today,since he called on me. BTW, he is the one now living in my place wanting me to drink and party, but I think mainly perhaps he is afraid of me changing. I loset about 60 pounds in 2 years nad start to look really good. I bought my 1st size 8 pants 3 month ago. Now after my vacation I maybe back at size 10, lol, too much good food over the holidays and chocolate.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
I have always been around it. It is very accepted in my family and there is never a get together without it. I started heavily when I was 25. Flash forward 10 years and I know its way out of hand.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I started having one glass of wine before my kids got home from high school to be relaxed so I wouldn't 'engage' my youngest when she started a fight. Within six months I was drinking all day every day...
Over a year sober now and loving it.
Over a year sober now and loving it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I've always had difficulty sleeping, at first alcohol was helpful....i was young, newly married and it seemed very grown-up to have a glass of wine in the evening...it would take me a week to finish a bottle of wine.
my first husband drank a lot, so did his family, we had a lot of family gatherings with a lot of alcohol...i hated my marriage, I drank through my divorce....15 years later I was still not sleeping but drinking 5X as much.
if i hadn't been so stupid to realize the alcohol was making sleep more difficult, i would have quit much sooner...hindsight is always 20-20. I have slept better in the last 10 months than I have in the last 10 years..and it shows.
my first husband drank a lot, so did his family, we had a lot of family gatherings with a lot of alcohol...i hated my marriage, I drank through my divorce....15 years later I was still not sleeping but drinking 5X as much.
if i hadn't been so stupid to realize the alcohol was making sleep more difficult, i would have quit much sooner...hindsight is always 20-20. I have slept better in the last 10 months than I have in the last 10 years..and it shows.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I first started drinking at 14. This isn't unusual in UK and I loved it right from the start. I would always drink to excess and this is the only way that I wanted to drink, I just saw not drinking to excess as pointless, boring and related and loved the company of other's who liked to get properly wrecked. I loved the environments and general culture of pubs and drinking environments. I loved booze and evrything about it, genuinely loved it and had such a warm place in my heart for booze and the lifestyle.
I was a seasoned pro by the time I turned 18 but right from the start I had a massive tolerance of booze and could drink ridiculous amounts. I loved the feeling of being drunk and I loved being drunk so much as a state of mind that I would look forward to getting drunk again, whether on my own or with company I didn't care.
I worshipped bands who were 'rock n' roll' and just used to get wrecked and used to use many quotes from my favourite frontmen who I idolised, and still do. Particularly my favourite British bands of the mid to late 90's who knew how to "have it large!". Lad culture and I loved it!!
I'm an alcoholic who knew he had to get sober or else would live a short life full of shame, heartache, paranoia, destroying himself and those who loved him...
Peace
I was a seasoned pro by the time I turned 18 but right from the start I had a massive tolerance of booze and could drink ridiculous amounts. I loved the feeling of being drunk and I loved being drunk so much as a state of mind that I would look forward to getting drunk again, whether on my own or with company I didn't care.
I worshipped bands who were 'rock n' roll' and just used to get wrecked and used to use many quotes from my favourite frontmen who I idolised, and still do. Particularly my favourite British bands of the mid to late 90's who knew how to "have it large!". Lad culture and I loved it!!
I'm an alcoholic who knew he had to get sober or else would live a short life full of shame, heartache, paranoia, destroying himself and those who loved him...
Peace
Decide. Commit. Succeed.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: On the road to recovery...
Posts: 895
Originally Posted by OklaBH 
I have always been around it. It is very accepted in my family and there is never a get together without it.
I was NEVER a normal drinker...always chasing the high and trying to numb myself. 20 years of insanity!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Denver Co
Posts: 37
I started drinking at the age of 21. I drank at first cause it was cool. I was a shelter, I drank mad dog 20/20 took it straight to the head then i realize that I was just like my mom. One day I looked in the mirror and what I saw scared me I seen my mom. So I quit. Then I got with my daughter dad, I lost my son i didnt drink, but when I gave birth to my daughter so how I snap. I had a hard labor, she almost died, a week later I was dead for three mintues till they brought me back. I was put on bedrest, couldnt go to the bathroom by myself. People started abandoning me and my daughter. her dad stop comeing home on time, then I knew that he was cheating. The day he put his hands on me is when I started again. I stop talking my pain medicine cause he was stealing from me. Drinking help at that time cause I could have hurt them. But now its a little out of my comfort zone I still have issues with him, taking me to court (thats another story) I realized that I should have to be drunk to stay in control. I got to find another way.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Denver Co
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by Hopeless7
I started drinking at the age of 21. I drank at first cause it was cool. I was a shelter, I drank mad dog 20/20 took it straight to the head then i realize that I was just like my mom. One day I looked in the mirror and what I saw scared me I seen my mom. So I quit. Then I got with my daughter dad, I lost my son i didnt drink, but when I gave birth to my daughter so how I snap. I had a hard labor, she almost died, a week later I was dead for three mintues till they brought me back. I was put on bedrest, couldnt go to the bathroom by myself. People started abandoning me and my daughter. her dad stop comeing home on time, then I knew that he was cheating. The day he put his hands on me is when I started again. I stop talking my pain medicine cause he was stealing from me. Drinking help at that time cause I could have hurt them. But now its a little out of my comfort zone I still have issues with him, taking me to court (thats another story) I realized that I should have to be drunk to stay in control. I got to find another way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
First time I got drunk was in the 8th grade, I just wanted to see what it was like it was a lot of fun then it made me really sick. I started drinking daily as a senior in h.s., I was painfully shy, depressed and suffering from undiagnosed PTSD, the legal drinking age at the time was 18 so it was easy to have a fake ID at 17. When I drank I became a different person it was an escape that I loved and it took about 25 yrs before it really became a problem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Hey everyone. I almost forgot to put my life story on here too. I started drinking when I turn 21. I got drunk with a few friends that wanted me to drink because I never drank before. At the time I only had 4 different type of drinks for the first time. I didn't drink for a few months later but would get drunk. It would only take a few drinks to do so but at the time I enjoy it. It was never a problem until in 2005, when I started to drink because I would have a panic attack after college. I didn't know why I got this before but my dad gave me 2 screwdrivers to help me get me to sleep. I did this for a few days and the panic attack went a way. Thats when it all started and I knew I had a problem with alcohol but didn't think too much of it because I never got in trouble with it. It was something that help me relax myself. A few years later, I started to drink much heavier because of stress in work and relationship problems. I could not handle the problems with my life and need alcohol to help me through it. It never help in the long run. The problems were still there and now I started a new problem with alcohol. I would binge drink for 3 to 5 days at a time and wouldn't drink for week. This was going on for about a year until I got charge with DUI. One of the worst things that ever happen to me but should have learn my lesson the first time around. Now it happen again but this time I knew better and was cutting back a lot. I was trying to get in really good shape and was looking for a new job. I was only drinking a couple of time but that few time was still too many. I can't change the past now but I can change the future and learn from my mistakes and stop drinking for good. This second legal issue will set me back a good few years but if I learn from it now. I can start a new chapter with not drinking alcohol anymore.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
I was around booze my entire life...it was easy to get to, I would drink baby duck at the Christmas table at the age of 5....then when I hit 13 I started experimenting with all sorts of stuff.....booze was my favourite....instantly loved everything about it....thought I was grown up! Flash forward 25 years later and how I wish I never picked up a drink!
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