bellakeller

I was never comfortable in my own skin. Alcohol freed me of that and made me funnier, sassier, bolder, more interesting, more exciting, more creative - etc.. All the things I felt I wasn't.

When that stopped being fun, I drank because of everyone/ everything else - a horrible mother, a bad boss, stinky co-workers, awful job, lazy husband, challenging children, no money - etc..

Now I drink because I am just thirsty (practically everything but alcohol).

Supercrew

Alcohol has always been around the house in my younger years, and I was offered a couple of beers at age 15. I drank 3 beers and giggled like a girl, thus started my love affair with alcohol. The following weekend I was up to a 6 pack. I drank because it was fun, and I thought it was cool. Since then the only think I really looked forward to in life was the next time I could get drunk.

AWOL

I was married to pub culture and rock music and I loved drinking beer more than I loved women and the dawn of the music revolution in the seventies. Like Neo, I loved the prospect of getting wasted with my friends and spent an extraordinary amount of time
in pubs around the world. In fact, I found the pubs I visited in New York unsociable compared to the UK pubs, and would dream of being back in my favourite pub in Kennington drinking and listening to music. I never stopped to question the wisdom of my marriage to alcohol and never accepted full responsibility for being an alcoholic who was heading for destruction and an early death. That I stopped, to me, is a miracle of intervention that came from a place beyond the field of my vision. Now it's my turn to repay the favour.

leo21

I drank occasionally when i became legal age and that continued until my early thirties. My first step over the cliff was grabbing a six pack in the morning, trying to drown out my abusive spouse. I couldn't handle making a choice between my marriage and my folks. I chose my marriage and left my family behind - drank every morning, noon and whenever for the next 7 years. Finally seeing that drinking doesn't solve anything, but sure can help you to lose everything.

sazza

I had what I think was a fairly normal experience with drink when I was growing up. Started drinking in my late teens, usually a Saturday night and always got wasted. I say that was normal because that is what everybody did at the time.

During my twenties didn't really drink much. I didn't drink during any of my pregnancies and never bothered with it on a night out when the kids were small because I couldn't face the hangover.

In my thirties, well that's where the trouble started for me. I developed extreme anxiety due to a host of reasons and ended up on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. Asked my gp if I could have the odd drink (which is all I ever had at the time). He replied that there was nothing wrong with a glass of wine...................Of course he did say a glass, not a goddamn bottle or two.

I remember being very aware of the fact that I was medicating with wine, and somehow thought that because I was aware of it that nothing bad could happen. I was aware every step of the way what was happening to me and yet it made no difference at all to the outcome...alcoholism. I somehow thought that people woke up one day and say "oh dear I'm an alcoholic" I thought that because I was aware of what I was doing that somehow I would be able to pull back from the brink when I would need to. I couldn't.

I spent the last 2 years of my drinking constantly ashamed, sick, embarrassed and dying for the next drink wherever I could get it. Drink was the most important part of my life and it shames me to admit that.

FrankBarone

I was a late starter, at 17, among my group of friends. Before that I was always the sensible square who never drank because he was afraid of getting caught. When I did start, I could take it or leave it and got on just fine with it. I always got pissed but I was young and would always feel OK the next day.

When I was about 19, I got a job in a bar while I was at college. It was meant to be temporary but I soon dropped out and was working in the pub full time. This opened my eyes to a lot of things. Firstly, it is generally accepted that it's fine to have a beer on any day of the week. Secondly, a lot of people I know were doing this already and looked to me as if they were having the time of their lives. It soon got to the stage where, instead of going home after my shift, I would move around to the other side of the bar and have a drink with one of any of the people I knew who would be there. This developed into staying out later and more often.

Looking back, there is a date in my mind that I think of as the day that I 'crossed the line' as it were. It was the first time that I had a blackout, the first time I woke up and went for more booze in the morning and the first time I was an emotional wreck and ashamed of myself simply for drinking. Sadly, it took me about another eight years to really realise that I had to give it up.

jude70

I knew I had a problem when I was 13 years old. Some older friends of mine let me have a glass of wine, then another and another. After that I felt so good I wanted more so I opened their mother’s bottle of bourbon and woke up in the hospital the next day with tubes coming out of me. I was told I had alcohol poisoning and that I almost died. However, I remember the wonderful feeling and I just wanted more of it. I should have learned then but didn’t. My parents were devastated. I didn’t drink for about 3 years after that (16 wow) because I promised them I would never drink again. I loved the way it made me feel so much that I convinced myself that it wasn’t a problem. My twenties were not that bad but I did know that I had a problem. In my thirties is when everything really started to progress. I went from beer, to wine, to vodka/wine combos. Now that I am in my 40's I know that this is a very major problem and needs to be corrected. It is hard and I am having a hard time today but writing and reading is helping me. I have never told anyone any of these things in my life.

oakleaf82

I drank for the first time when I was 16. When I was 17, started dating an older guy (who I later married, and am still married to). I think it was mostly rebellion. My best friend and myself were both dating older guys who were no longer in school; and they had the resources to get alcohol. I drank with my BF every. Single. Weekend. Friday and Saturday night, there was always a house party, never fail. BF had his own place, and had friends with their own places; so there was always a place to drink.

After high school, and during college weekday drinking happened more often. Pretty much whenever there wasn't something to get up for in the morning was an excuse to drink. By the time I was 21; several nights a week was the norm. Then we moved to a new city and it kind of died down for awhile.

I had never heard the term "straight edge" until I moved to a big city. Certainly NO one in the small WI town I grew up in was straight edge. But here, I met several people who didn't drink or do drugs, almost unfathomable in a city known for its beer. But meeting these people made me start to question my own drinking. I never fully quit, but each time I drank I would analyze things and start to realize what a problem it can be.

It is just ingrained in the culture here in Milwaukee. Day drinking is completely acceptable around here; no need to even hide it. I also know 4 people in my immediate circle of friends who are home brewers and two people who have kegerators built directly into their kitchen cabinetry. Lewis Black does a bit about drinking in Wisconsin that is hilariously sad but true.

Isaiah

I got a kick out of this. I was sXe from my mid teens until I was 22. If only I had kept with it. Problem was sXe was about music too, and the music was bloody awful.

oakleaf82

LOL. Yeah but Ian MacKaye is still my hero. LOVE Fugazi. Minor Threat, not so much.

understated

I was never a really heavy drinker until about 2008 when my longtime boyfriend broke up with me. At that point, I was living alone and just needed to drown away the pain and never really stopped.

It got to the point where I would come home, make a drink that was almost all alcohol with a splash of soda and pass out in a chair, wake up, get ready and go to work. I've been doing that since about December 2009 and it's cost me 2 jobs, a ton of friends, and my dignity.

I knew I had a problem but never sought out help until it was too late and almost killed myself by accident by mixing sleeping pills with a whole lot of alcohol last Monday night.

It's been quite the week beginning this year out but I can't mess up anymore. I have to be committed to keep this sober thing going otherwise I'm really going to mess up my life.

sleepie

I adore Minor Threat- it's all about Brian Baker... I began drinking when I was was 27. I got serious about it when I was 28.

coffeenut

Started drinking as a teenager. Even then, I knew I had a problem.

undercoverangel

It's still a mystery to me, why I ever started so late in life. My husband's boss gave him a bottle of vodka for Christmas. We weren't drinkers at all, but for whatever reason one night I suggested we try some. Normally if somebody gave us a bottle of whatever it would become a permanent fixture on the kitchen counter for years, never opened, lol. Anyway, my husband looked at me like I was nuts but went ahead and poured us some, mixing it with some soda. I got halfway through my glass and I was in love. It soon became a nightly ritual for me. Thinking back now I remember we were at a point in our lives where we planning some major changes, so not sure if my state of mind had something to do with it all. I became a daily drinker, nothing ugly, but I just enjoyed my 7-10 drinks every night. Eventually I wasn't drinking as often but still to excess every time I did. That was 5 years ago, I don't know where the years went, I've been trying to quit for 4 1/2 of them. ;O(

invisigoth

Working the night shift is what did it for me. I had a hard time sleeping during the day so I would have a couple 12oz sleeping pills so I could nod off and the next thing I know here I am.

spqr

I started for the normal reasons. To loosen up my inhibitions, meet girls, maybe even talk to them.

Although its no excuse, Britain has a huge drinking culture as well. Fitting in has a lot to do with getting drunk when you're a young man.

FrankBarone

Indeed.

bellakeller

Fugazi stayed at my house once when they were on tour in NY. That's my only claim to fame! They drank herbal tea and I was so ashamed because I was drinking everything but herbal tea....

marni

in the beginning l convinced myself it was OK to drink at 8am,
(it was really 8pm, l'd just finished night shift..lol) and it would help me sleep.
Then l didn't sleep anyway because l couldn't stop drinking until l passed out, then l just couldn't stop and drank to feel "normal" and hated the shakes l'd get by mid morning.

misamisa

I was abused as a child and have never help comfortable in my own skin or had much self-esteem. I've struggled with anxiety, depression, mild OCD and food issues (ranging from compulsive eating to anorexia to bulimia) for most of my life. When I drank, all that went away. I was someone else, someone confident and not self-conscious, someone who could live in the moment rather than being tied in knots about the past and the future. For me alcohol was a relief from the endless daily grind of being me. It was a solution that quickly became a problem.