Hitting Bottom?
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Actually, it hasn't. It hasn't worked because AA only acknowledges it's successes.
People who don't want to surrender and quit, just wont, they don't need AA to encourage them into destruction so some religious transformation takes place.
People who don't want to surrender and quit, just wont, they don't need AA to encourage them into destruction so some religious transformation takes place.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by keithj 
By and large, it's a waste of time to continue working with someone who hasn't surrendered. I have yet to persuade someone to get real and do the work when they still think they can manage their problem. Booze does a much better job of convincing them.
The BB would agree too: "In this respect, alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness." p48
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by keithj
I have yet to persuade someone to get real and do the work when they still think they can manage their problem.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by Isaiah
Actually, it hasn't. It hasn't worked because AA only acknowledges it's successes.
People who don't want to surrender and quit, just wont, they don't need AA to encourage them into destruction so some religious transformation takes place.
People who don't want to surrender and quit, just wont, they don't need AA to encourage them into destruction so some religious transformation takes place.
The Big Book does not suggest that we lock ourselves away with crates of vodka and drink as much as possible but says to go and try some more controlled drinking if you think you aren't an alcoholic and are unwilling to change and after finding out that you cant control the drinking get on with doing something about it!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Like the others I dislike the bottom concept. Actually even my husband now who has had MANY 'talks' with me about my drinking seems less than convinced that I'm an alcoholic. Mostly because of those stereotypes, I think.
I've been a member here for over 3 years (I had to check!) but I've only been sober for about 3 mos. Since I first joined (so let's say a tangible moment where I realized I needed help) I hit many more lows. Drinking in the morning. Missing important events in my kids life because of hangovers. Blacking out. Collapsing when I got up one night and bringing the towel rail off the wall, breaking the toilet seat. Multi-day benders. But I also had pockets of realization in between those. Falling a little bit in love with elements of sober life. Managing to keep a handle on my drinking a few days a week. A really slow, slow realization that sober life had a lot to offer. More to offer than drinking life.
Then - a breakthrough realization that I can't moderate. And for me that didn't mean what I thought it did. It didn't mean that if I had one I woke up naked in a dumpster. But it meant that if I drank one night I was pretty likely to have 5. That if I had 5 it was REALLY hard for me not drink the next day. That if I had a hangover it was likely I was going to sneak a glass of wine at lunchtime. That I liked nothing more than drinking from say noon on a Saturday. A glass of wine every hour for 11 hours.
Alcohol took over my life. I never learned how to feel calm without it. I never learned how to enjoy things without it. I would decline invitations for sober events at night. I had a tough time committing to late afternoon events for my kids because I'd rather drink ('while cooking'). It was the first thing I thought of every morning (literally I would wake up. Wonder if the amount I drank would be obvious to my husband. Was the wine box much lighter? Where would I buy more today? Could I not drink today? Was that my liver that hurt?).
So I guess my bottom was realizing that my relationship with alcohol had taken over my life. That the effort it took to control my intake was more trouble than it was worth (and not always successful). And (key) that sober things WERE fun and WERE fulfilling. Disliking the negative effects of alcohol was not enough for me. The fear of dying young. Fear of ruining my kid's childhoods. Fear of losing my husband. None of that seemed to be enough to get me to stop. But realizing that sobriety was it's own reward? THAT seemed to tip me over the edge. Being sober was NOT the sacrifice I thought it was. It was actually a great, fulfilling thing!
So, my bottom was when the scale tipped I guess. The benefits of sobriety far outweighed the benefits of drinking. That was the bottom and now I'm 3 months into heading back up
Welcome and I hope you find what you're looking for!
I've been a member here for over 3 years (I had to check!) but I've only been sober for about 3 mos. Since I first joined (so let's say a tangible moment where I realized I needed help) I hit many more lows. Drinking in the morning. Missing important events in my kids life because of hangovers. Blacking out. Collapsing when I got up one night and bringing the towel rail off the wall, breaking the toilet seat. Multi-day benders. But I also had pockets of realization in between those. Falling a little bit in love with elements of sober life. Managing to keep a handle on my drinking a few days a week. A really slow, slow realization that sober life had a lot to offer. More to offer than drinking life.
Then - a breakthrough realization that I can't moderate. And for me that didn't mean what I thought it did. It didn't mean that if I had one I woke up naked in a dumpster. But it meant that if I drank one night I was pretty likely to have 5. That if I had 5 it was REALLY hard for me not drink the next day. That if I had a hangover it was likely I was going to sneak a glass of wine at lunchtime. That I liked nothing more than drinking from say noon on a Saturday. A glass of wine every hour for 11 hours.
Alcohol took over my life. I never learned how to feel calm without it. I never learned how to enjoy things without it. I would decline invitations for sober events at night. I had a tough time committing to late afternoon events for my kids because I'd rather drink ('while cooking'). It was the first thing I thought of every morning (literally I would wake up. Wonder if the amount I drank would be obvious to my husband. Was the wine box much lighter? Where would I buy more today? Could I not drink today? Was that my liver that hurt?).
So I guess my bottom was realizing that my relationship with alcohol had taken over my life. That the effort it took to control my intake was more trouble than it was worth (and not always successful). And (key) that sober things WERE fun and WERE fulfilling. Disliking the negative effects of alcohol was not enough for me. The fear of dying young. Fear of ruining my kid's childhoods. Fear of losing my husband. None of that seemed to be enough to get me to stop. But realizing that sobriety was it's own reward? THAT seemed to tip me over the edge. Being sober was NOT the sacrifice I thought it was. It was actually a great, fulfilling thing!
So, my bottom was when the scale tipped I guess. The benefits of sobriety far outweighed the benefits of drinking. That was the bottom and now I'm 3 months into heading back up
Welcome and I hope you find what you're looking for!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by LawMama
I have been struggling with this "high bottom/first step combination."
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by LawMama
Just wanted to thank all of you for this helpful thread. I have been struggling with this "high bottom/first step combination." This helped me a lot. Thank you to the OP and everyone else.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Originally Posted by Isaiah
Actually, it hasn't. It hasn't worked because AA only acknowledges it's successes.
People who don't want to surrender and quit, just wont, they don't need AA to encourage them into destruction so some religious transformation takes place.
People who don't want to surrender and quit, just wont, they don't need AA to encourage them into destruction so some religious transformation takes place.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Damn, this frustrating, we get a good thread going and all of a sudden it becomes about AA.... People with AA agendas, pro and/or con... sometimes it gets a little irritating.
There is a 12 step support section for pro AA and a secular section for non (anti?????) AA.
Some of us, when sharing our experience, cannot help, on some level, do so with some AA language... because, some of our experience is in... AA, ya think??
I am not trying to shove AA down anyone's throats... We were talking about bottoms, not AA... but now the anti-AA digs come...
Sorry but I'm p1ssed.... see ya for now
There is a 12 step support section for pro AA and a secular section for non (anti?????) AA.
Some of us, when sharing our experience, cannot help, on some level, do so with some AA language... because, some of our experience is in... AA, ya think??
I am not trying to shove AA down anyone's throats... We were talking about bottoms, not AA... but now the anti-AA digs come...
Sorry but I'm p1ssed.... see ya for now
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I know Mark. It's frustrating on all sides (if we were to assigns sides I know you and I would be opposed). But I can still recognize objectively that the AA/Non AA thing is frustrating for all involved. We'll have to work on a solution. (Now I sound like my 4 year old. "Mommy? can we find a different solution?" )
)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Hitting your bottom is a personal thing...some people never do...and they die..... For me it was a combination of alot of things...the fun of drinking was gone, and it was replaced with alot of sadness and destruction.....if I carried on I knew my life would be ruined....Life now is great without alcohol I'm learning alot about myself now..how much strength I have for one, when I thought alcohol gave me courage, it actually took that from me... I will never regret giving up my drinking days...it has been the best thing I've done!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I had to look back to see how we got on to to AA or not to AA again.
Let's leave all that for another time, and focus on the subject of the thread and our experiences with it - I think it's a universal theme.
thanks
D
Let's leave all that for another time, and focus on the subject of the thread and our experiences with it - I think it's a universal theme.
thanks
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
So mine was accidentally drinking too much of the wine we bought for Thanksgiving a week early, blacking out, throwing up and going to work ridiculously hung over the next day. Still married, not broke, have a home and a job I love, but that incident made me realize that if I kept this up, I could lose all that stuff. I also realized I had been drinking entirely too much recently (and actually had been thinking about that, what to do about it, contemplating quitting, etc.) for a while. That night just clarified it all for me.
So a bottom for me but certainly not some sort of ultimate bottom. If I can keep up this sobriety thing, I'll save myself for that type of fall.
I guess the idea about hitting bottom, though, puts a positive spin on horrible things happening to you. And reinforces the idea that no one is going to quit until they're ready.
So a bottom for me but certainly not some sort of ultimate bottom. If I can keep up this sobriety thing, I'll save myself for that type of fall.
I guess the idea about hitting bottom, though, puts a positive spin on horrible things happening to you. And reinforces the idea that no one is going to quit until they're ready.
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Bottom for me was when I decided that my way wasn't working and I'd better reach out to others who had been successful to learn what they did ... and then do it their way.
Sometimes you just aren't done drinking and there is nothing that anyone can do to stop you. When you finally reach your bottom, you often just know you're done. I tried lots of moderation and controlled drinking - and it all failed. Honestly looking at myself then made me realize that I couldn't do it alone.
Sometimes you just aren't done drinking and there is nothing that anyone can do to stop you. When you finally reach your bottom, you often just know you're done. I tried lots of moderation and controlled drinking - and it all failed. Honestly looking at myself then made me realize that I couldn't do it alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Greensboro, North Carolina
Posts: 27
I know now that this is not something for me to get stuck on. I realize now I had a high bottom and I sure as hell don't want the low. Thanks again and today is 13 days sober. I feel better then I have in a long time. It's amazing how alcohol gives you an obsession that stays with you every waking minute and even during dreams at times. I'm still working on step 2 now, but I'll get there. Talk soon.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Mi
Posts: 18
Hi there,
I am a 2006 graduate of Fraser High School with a 3 point plus GPA(during high school), with every day smoking weed and drinking. I have been doing drugs/drinking since I was 16. I was smoking pot and drinking everyday by my senior year. I was first caught with a posession of marijuana and paraphernalia in March of 2008 by the Warren Police(I was also drunk). I got lucky, I didn't get a DUI then. They told me to drive home. I was handed probation on August 13, 2008 for the weed. Not even two weeks later, after coming back from up north Labor day weekend and driving drunk to kill the time, I was caught in Detroit at Chene and Gratiot, with 4 misdemeanors. Those were open intox, soliciting a postitute, no insurance, and no registation. In reality, I had both documents but I was too drunk to find them in my truck. The prostitution thing was also blown out of proprotion. A women had walked by and said hello and the cops saw that and thought we were making a deal for sex. Mind you this was at 4:30 am. Again, they told me to drive home. Luckly, the cops didn't show up at trial and they dropped all the charges. Anyways, fast forward to December 4th, 2008. I had a random drug screening for my probation and I dropped dirty for marijuana. This was when I started drinking heavily because I couldn't smoke weed any more. Again, fast forward to April 16th, 2009 and I was pullied over for a drunk driving with three of Warren's finest on my bumper(leaving a bowling alley and I was still underage);9 days Short of my 21st. I blew a .24 and didn't even drink that much for me anyways(Just a fifith and a 40oz of Bud Light. I even met my half-brother in jail( he's 40 years old and this was the first time I had met him). He has spent most 20 plus years in and out of jail/prison(for drinking/carjacking/domestic assualt. When I was arrested, I knew I had a drinking problem. I was still on probation and when the trial came in September, the judge sentenced me to 30 days and they were the longest's days in my life!!! Trust me if you can stay sober, it will be worth it. There is no doubt you will have to work at it but for me I have been lucky. If sentenced accordinly, I would be doing around 48 months for my crimes.I only served 30 days. But the only question do you really want to get sober? I only ask because this is a day to day commentment. You may also have slip ups as well but that can't discourage you. I have over 20 slip ups since I have been out of jail in 2009 but am still working on my soberity. Currently. I have 4 days in. Granted if you are only dealing with alcohol it may be a little easier for you but I guess it depends on where your at.
Dave
I am a 2006 graduate of Fraser High School with a 3 point plus GPA(during high school), with every day smoking weed and drinking. I have been doing drugs/drinking since I was 16. I was smoking pot and drinking everyday by my senior year. I was first caught with a posession of marijuana and paraphernalia in March of 2008 by the Warren Police(I was also drunk). I got lucky, I didn't get a DUI then. They told me to drive home. I was handed probation on August 13, 2008 for the weed. Not even two weeks later, after coming back from up north Labor day weekend and driving drunk to kill the time, I was caught in Detroit at Chene and Gratiot, with 4 misdemeanors. Those were open intox, soliciting a postitute, no insurance, and no registation. In reality, I had both documents but I was too drunk to find them in my truck. The prostitution thing was also blown out of proprotion. A women had walked by and said hello and the cops saw that and thought we were making a deal for sex. Mind you this was at 4:30 am. Again, they told me to drive home. Luckly, the cops didn't show up at trial and they dropped all the charges. Anyways, fast forward to December 4th, 2008. I had a random drug screening for my probation and I dropped dirty for marijuana. This was when I started drinking heavily because I couldn't smoke weed any more. Again, fast forward to April 16th, 2009 and I was pullied over for a drunk driving with three of Warren's finest on my bumper(leaving a bowling alley and I was still underage);9 days Short of my 21st. I blew a .24 and didn't even drink that much for me anyways(Just a fifith and a 40oz of Bud Light. I even met my half-brother in jail( he's 40 years old and this was the first time I had met him). He has spent most 20 plus years in and out of jail/prison(for drinking/carjacking/domestic assualt. When I was arrested, I knew I had a drinking problem. I was still on probation and when the trial came in September, the judge sentenced me to 30 days and they were the longest's days in my life!!! Trust me if you can stay sober, it will be worth it. There is no doubt you will have to work at it but for me I have been lucky. If sentenced accordinly, I would be doing around 48 months for my crimes.I only served 30 days. But the only question do you really want to get sober? I only ask because this is a day to day commentment. You may also have slip ups as well but that can't discourage you. I have over 20 slip ups since I have been out of jail in 2009 but am still working on my soberity. Currently. I have 4 days in. Granted if you are only dealing with alcohol it may be a little easier for you but I guess it depends on where your at.
Dave
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