Hitting Bottom?
 

I've been sober now for 10 days. My question is this. How does one know when he/she hits bottom? Some seem much more severe than others, although mine was basically the realization that my job is in jeopardy, my increasing depression which was made worse by alcohol, and staying in the same day after day situations which drove me away from meeting new friends, social connections, etc. I guess I still just have questioning in my mind as to how bad of an alcoholic I am, or does that even matter. It seems so many stories are of the worse kind. Thanks

I know I hit bottom when it all seemed to much for me..........I was purposely avoiding family and friends, my job was a torture chamber, I would dread the next day the night before......afraid of everything, I felt myself not leaving the house except for a booze run...........that's when I knew it was time for a change.

I think something like that is an individual thing.....but if alcohol is bringing out all those realizations to you, maybe they are trying to tell you something. Keep searching your soul......hope that helps a little??

thanks for the reply. i just think i have a lot of soul searching to do, although at the end of the day an alcoholic is an alcoholic. thanks

Well like you've already noticed everyone has their own bottom, some lower than others. I knew when I hit my bottom when 1) I realized and admitted that my life became unmanageable 2) when I could no longer control my drinking but my drinking controlled me 3) realizing that I was beaten and done, I just could not go on drinking anymore. I was fortunate enough to walk in the rooms and raise my bottom. I heard the similarities in the stories people told, where they started and where they ended up. From that I knew if I kept on drinking it would be a matter of time before I was living on the streets or sent to prison. I don't want either of them, so i work my program to the best of my ability.

I think many of us can relate to your situation. The isolation and depression caused by drinking are classic symptoms of our disease. Do you also pull the curtains closed when you're home alone with the bottle? Do you lose track of time? Do you fear to answer the door or the telephone?

And yet on Monday, I was out at an AA meeting among people who loved and understood me. Someone took me out for a coffee afterwards and I really enjoyed the conversation with him. It's progress in the right direction.

I used to wonder about the same thing (whether I'd reached my bottom), but I think it's because I was calculating how long I could continue to drink. I didn't black out, have any DUI's, hadn't lost any friends, etc...., BUT I was definitely obsessed with alcohol and I knew what the future held if I didn't stop.

It just got to the point with me where the hangovers were getting worse and I was happy just to sit alone with a drink (didn't seem scary at the time, but it's no way to live, really). It took a lot of energy: all the planning and plotting, sneaking around, trying to act sober, mornings lost, and just the emotion roller coaster of it all.

Looking back, I was sicker than I thought. The obsession is finally just about gone (after 7 months), which is a huge relief.

Welcome to SR, by the way!:ring

For me bottom's more a state of mind than an event - sure events can be wake up calls, but I believe we choose our bottom rather than the other way around.

For me, its the moment I decided to stop.

Welcome to SR GorshinJ :)
D

Thanks for all the replies. Artsoul, you sound almost exactly like me when I was drinking(little over 10 days ago). Except for sneaking and pretending to be sober(I just didn't need to do those in my situation), it seems we have a lot of things in common when it comes to drinking. Also, I guess I just chose my bottom when I was totally sick of feeling like crap everyday and calling out of work making up a stupid excuse. I'm basically taking leave from work and putting myself through an intensive outpatient program and going to 1 or more AA meetings everyday. I already feel better, getting ready to join a gym again, and I'm just glad to have you guys and gals here to talk to. A guy said tonight in AA that he's actually glad he became an alcoholic in some ways, so he would actually learn how to live his life with much more meaning. He's an oldtimer in AA and when he said that, it really hit home. When I start something, I usually go headfirst and fullspeed ahead. Anyway, if I put half the effort into recovery as I did my drinking, I think I'll be alright. Thanks for letting me speak. Talk soon..........

You hit bottom, when you ask for help.

It's when you say, "Help! I cannot do this anymore!"

It has nothing to do with outside circumstances or conditions.

It's not about what you have lost or not lost.

We all have the same bottom. We all reach a point when we ask for help.

This is my understanding of it.

http://recoveryradionetwork.podcastp...om/posts/38937

forward to 16:25 of this 72 min talk, as a speaker talks about hitting bottom specifically.

Someone once said "every bottom has a trap door" whbich I like.

I have issues with the concept of hitting bottom...I don't like that people feel they have to hit it to sober up. It doesn't matter, when you decide you've had enough you should stop. Who cares how much of an alcoholic you are? This is one area of my life I am glad I have no desire to be an overachiever in:)

Welcome to SR!

I've really never liked the "bottom" concept either. IMHO, I think it gives the layperson the idea that the addict/alcoholic has to lose everything in order to want to get better. I think to the addict/alcoholic it could provide the fuel to continue bad decisions, "well I haven't hit bottom yet so I must not be ready." Not to be too new age but the addict/alcoholic may be over focusing on the bottom and are often driven toward that focus.

I know I was still choosing to drink when the circumstances in my life were much much worse than they are now. After things got a lot better for me, I decided enough was enough.

One things for sure, everyone is different when it comes to stopping and how they "got stopped" and "stayed stopped."

I think CarolD mentioned this the first time I heard it and I paraphrase, "you have to want sobriety more than you want to drink."

Everyone's bottom is different. What it took for one person to recover may be very different from the next person sitting next to him in a meeting. For some people I know, it was not until they were homeless after getting out of jail for an alcohol-related crime that they could begin their recovery. For me, it was the realization that for all of my adult life, I hadn't started or ended any romantic relationship without alcohol -- often alcohol was involved in both the beginning and the end. It took a different kind of relationship for me to see the big picture and realize my life would never be any different unless I changed my drinking.

At first I held onto the idea that I would somehow one day be able to drink like a normal person. The more I learned about alcoholism, though, the clearer the picture became -- I'm simply not capable of doing that. When the genetic lottery was handed out, I got a lot of good things and a few things that sucked -- and my reaction to alcohol is one of the things that I wish were different.

It took half a lifetime of denial before I could even think about letting go of drinking. "Bottom" didn't come when I woke up passed out on the floor in my own vomit, with blood in it from how sick I had been. "Bottom" didn't come after the day I performed a public strip show for people I had just met and later had unprotected sex with at least two of them. "Bottom" didn't come when I needed stitches in my leg and didn't get them because I was too wasted to know I needed medical attention. "Bottom" didn't come in any of the incredibly hurtful moments that happened in my relationships because of my drinking. I just had to be ready.

I could have kept going for a while longer before I faced any real consequences outside of my social life, which I just kept rearranging around my alcohol-induced mistakes. But how much longer until I lost my job due to poor performance, had an accident or got arrested for a DUI, sustained a really serious injury from being drunk... I think if I had kept on the path I was on, despite my belief that I was untouchable because none of it had happened yet -- I would have wound up with some or all of those events in my life.

So, how do you know? You don't until later, when you've got some recovery time under your belt and a clearer head. Then you can look back and say yes, this was bottom for me. There's no sense to go pounding on it looking for the trapdoor that LaFemme mentioned; you'll find a way down to a deeper level of trouble if you want that.

I think your bottom (tee hee hee) is sort of figured out in hindsight. It becomes that point in history where you really decided you couldn't take it any more and started making a positive change.

I feel like I hit mine two years ago. Since then I have not gone completely straight in sobriety, but I am making far more positive changes and only a few unfortunate slips. I feel like my direction is up now. However, I realize that I can always go back down again.

And I would be very, very cautious about people who tell you to keep drinking until you hit bottom. They are out there, and their idea is utterly nonsense and dangerous. I think you should think about changing your drinking based on how it might or might not improve your life as it is now. Bear in mind that alcoholism is progressive so the more you choose to explore how bad it can get is an assurance that it will get worse.

The scary thing for me is I thought I hit bottom many times only to find I could take myself even lower. It is definitely an inside job. Sure outside circumstances can assist in taking you to that mental state of "I give up, I just can't do it anymore - HELP ME!" but you have to be ready.

I like the saying that you hit bottom when you stop digging. For me my TRUE bottom is death - the addict in me will just keep chasing that dream until it is truly over (at least in this world). That means I better put down the shovel and ask for help now before it is too late.

My 'bottom' was a state of mind, of utter despair and hopelessness. It was when I realized I couldn't keep on going this way, that drinking would cause me to come to a bad end. Glad I finally stopped drinking before it got worse.:)

High Bottoms and Step 1 are a difficult combination. Admitting to our innermost self that we are alcoholic, powerless over alcohol, is tough enough, but it's harder still when we still have family, home, job, car, health... Non-alcoholics don't have to do that dance. They just stop drinking when they lose, or almost, lose their job, family, etc... Done...

This is why, I think, that it is so very important to be rigorously honest with ourselves. This alcoholism thing is not quantitative... not how much we drink or how much we've lost... but qualitative... why do we drink, what happens when we do, and perhaps, more importantly... what happens when we don't.... Are words like obsession and compulsion appropriate in discussing our relationship to alcohol?

My own experience, a workplace intervention... I still have the job and all the rest. I am a very blessed man... Willingness to not drink was external, at first... The need for serenity and happiness was, however, very much felt within. So, that's where the motivation comes from to work a rigorously honest program. If I can't successfully complete a meaningful step one, then the rest of the program (the steps) is just so much BS and without a meaningful step one I would be in dry alcoholic hell....

That dry alcoholic hell is perhaps why some relapse. It may be why some will tell you to keep drinking until you hit bottom. But it can also be the motivation, the stick, to do that dance with step one and be honest with yourself when you do.... The carrot... Happy, joyous and free... The promises of AA... they are there for you no matter how high or low your bottom.

Keep coming back.

!!! Bottom is an inside job !!! What you've done, what you've lost, etc are just the circumstances that lead to the bottom. Bottom is when you stop going down (getting worse) and start to go up (get better).

I hit what I can consider my bottom when I surrendered and gave up fighting. I knew I was screwed and there was no way out. That's when recovery through the 12 Steps opened up for me.

It wasn't about the things lost or the overwhelming panic and depression. It was about the hopelessness and utter desperation. Prior to that, no matter how bad the external circumstances in my life got, I always falsely believed that I could get myself out of the mess I had made. Even though it sucked, I thought I could manage my situation.

The acceptance in my heart that I absolutely could not manage my problem can be considered a bottom for me.

Hmmm, this is pretty much the direction given in AA's 12th Step for the person who is unwilling to pursue the course of spiritual action. It's been working for a long time now.

I've worked with a lot of drunks and newcomers. By and large, it's a waste of time to continue working with someone who hasn't surrendered. I have yet to persuade someone to get real and do the work when they still think they can manage their problem. Booze does a much better job of convincing them.

My perspective on this changed a lot after I'd done some intensive work with other alcoholics for a few years.

i always was OK no matter what until there was no way i could pretend anymore.. it takes what it takes.. prison.. loony bin.. death or recovery those are the choices IF you are Truly a Alcoholic.