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20 year reunion...what should I do?

Old 11-17-2010, 05:21 AM
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20 year reunion...what should I do?

My 20 yr hs reunion is next week and while I would like to go, I am hesitant to put myself in that situation. I have lost touch with all my old hs friends (except on facebook) so I don't know anyone I could ask to go with me. My husband thinks I will regret it if I don't go, but I don't want to risk my sobriety either. Perhaps I should not think about it until the day before and decide then?
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:04 AM
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What a coincidence, my 20th reunion is next week too. I've talked this over with my wife and I have decided not to attend. I really want to go but there will be way too many triggers there. I am not ready to put it out there yet to all of my old cronies that I am officially on the wagon. So my best choice is just not to attend. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just sharing my thoughts. I know from past experiences that I am not quite ready for a situation like that this early in my recovery.
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:22 AM
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If you're already telling yourself that there is a likelihood that you will drink, then perhaps it's best you don't go... If you're still teetering on that edge. Better not to tempt yourself.

On that evening, make it a date night, and go out with your husband. As you said, you are in touch with many of your classmates through Facebook anyways.
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:35 AM
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My 20th reunion occurred when I had a bit over 2 years in recovery and since I had lost touch with many, I did not go. Didn't make the 30th or the 40th either, lol.

However, in the last few years have been in contact with a few from the 'old class' and have become involved with helping with our 50th which will be in 2013. I am amazed at how many others are active, about 70 so far out of a class of 358. I suspect it will be a 'real hoot'. Of those I am in contact with, there are several (more than 10) that have been active in recovery for some pretty good long times now, so ....................... I think it will be interesting.

However, only you can decide if this 20th reunion will be a "Slippery Place" for you or not, and if your are 'wavering' any at all, maybe take the 'safer' position for this one, and look forward to your 30th.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:45 AM
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It sounds like you don't really want to go...at least not badly enough to risk your sobriety. If you did attend, would your husband go with you (and if so would he be helpful in keeping you out of danger?)
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:59 AM
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I will continue thinking about this because I truly cannot decide. In my mind it is not an option to drink, period. That being said, obviously being with a group of old friends who drink might be really hard. Thank you for your replies.
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Old 11-17-2010, 08:31 AM
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Are you willing to tell these old friends you don't drink?
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Old 11-17-2010, 08:37 AM
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I think that you are aware that it could be risky to go, so follow your heart.
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Old 11-17-2010, 09:27 AM
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At about 1 month sober I went to my 20th reunion. Not going wasn't really an option for me since I was the main person on the planning committee, I was first there and last to leave...LOL:-) Anyway, I laid in a lot of groundwork before, really prepared myself mentally and emotionally. It was a booze fest but I wasn't tempted...partly because I did not drink in HS so these were not people I had a drinking history with, partly because I was mostly a drinking alone type of alcoholic, not a social one, and partly because I really can't stand the thought of alcohol anymore. People tried to buy me drinks all night because of all the work I did with reunion, and I just kept saying no thanks. I made sure I always had my Tonic Water in hand so I wasn't empty handed. I had a lot of fun, was inordinately pleased I didn't act like a drunken idiot as so many people did, and that was that.

Do what feels right in your heart. It would be helpful, I'm guessing if your husband comes too as support.
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Old 11-17-2010, 09:46 AM
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Weigh out the risks versus the benefits..

I sure wouldn't go.. they're no fun anyways lol. You could always meet up with a select group of your friends from facebook/highschool for a lunch or coffee not 'party' related.
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Old 11-17-2010, 10:00 AM
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My 20th will be held in the spring. I've already decided that I will not be attending. People from my past didn't make it to my future for a reason, and though it may be nice to see them, chances are they won't become a part of my life. Although I can relate to LaFemme, as I was an at home drinker, I wouldn't want to be tempted, especially for something unnecessary. But that is just my opinion. A lot of people have a blast at them, but if it will threaten your new sobriety, forget it. Facebook the people you care about, and make arrangements for lunch instead.
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Old 11-17-2010, 01:44 PM
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High school reunions in my experience anyway are always a booze fest.

I missed my last one - last year - not because I was scared, but because I knew I had no place being there. I saw photos...I was right not to go - I would have left after an hour anyway.

I guess my advice is think carefully about your priorities inluv.

D
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