Not quite there yet...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 2
Not quite there yet...
Hello everybody, I'm new here and I'd like to introduce myself. I've been through rehab 6 times for a crack addiction (off crack 5 years), and I'm starting to slip back into negative behaviors. My crack addiction took me to prison for 1 1/2 years in '05, released in dec. '06, and I completed parole with no violations 11 months ago.
Problem is, since I've completed parole, I've been smoking pot on a daily basis and have accomplished absolutely nothing. While I was on parole, I was productive. I started a family, landed a good union job, got promoted, did work around the house, just all-round productive. Now it's like I've plateaued at 36.
I know it's a minor hurdle compared to the milling I went through with my crack addiction, hence the post title... but I feel like I've got more work to do on myself (and for the community), so here I am.
Anyways, I just thought I'd introduce myself here, please don't judge.
Problem is, since I've completed parole, I've been smoking pot on a daily basis and have accomplished absolutely nothing. While I was on parole, I was productive. I started a family, landed a good union job, got promoted, did work around the house, just all-round productive. Now it's like I've plateaued at 36.
I know it's a minor hurdle compared to the milling I went through with my crack addiction, hence the post title... but I feel like I've got more work to do on myself (and for the community), so here I am.
Anyways, I just thought I'd introduce myself here, please don't judge.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Nice to meet you! Don't worry, we are pretty much a judge free group here. A bunch of alkies and addicts, so you can relax about that!
Sounds like you are trading one addiction for another. While pot is often not destructive like other drugs, when it takes away from your life and ability to accomplish things, it does become a problem. Reflect back on all those things you did during parole, when you weren't using anything. Isn't that the direction you would like to go? Ditch the pot. No worries, you probably won't have any physical withdrawls from it. And then start figuring out why it is you feel the need to find that escape. It sounds like things were going well, so why go back to old habits?
Anyway, I hope that came across the way I intended -- supportive! Welcome to SR!
Sounds like you are trading one addiction for another. While pot is often not destructive like other drugs, when it takes away from your life and ability to accomplish things, it does become a problem. Reflect back on all those things you did during parole, when you weren't using anything. Isn't that the direction you would like to go? Ditch the pot. No worries, you probably won't have any physical withdrawls from it. And then start figuring out why it is you feel the need to find that escape. It sounds like things were going well, so why go back to old habits?
Anyway, I hope that came across the way I intended -- supportive! Welcome to SR!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi and Welcome!
I'm glad you found us.
It sounds like you think that smoking pot is holding you back right now, and I know you will find lots of support here as you try to move forward.
I'm glad you found us.
It sounds like you think that smoking pot is holding you back right now, and I know you will find lots of support here as you try to move forward.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 2
Sometimes I get grandiose about my recovery, like I've defeated the most addictive drug on the planet and everything else is child's play, then I realize how much money I spend between cigs and pot and I feel like I'm killing myself. I need to stop smoking and live a healthier lifestyle or I'm going to rot away and die.
Thanks for the support!!!
Thanks for the support!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Hey XCon --
Yeah don't worry about being judged here of all places. I have quit drinking a number of times... and each time failed or relapsed due to myself holding myself back. And, I would come here post it... tell another human about it... and move on and try again.
This time I am doing it the right way with a sponser and working the 12 steps.... it is one of the hardest things I have ever done... but, I have put together almost 20 days sober.
Saliena
Yeah don't worry about being judged here of all places. I have quit drinking a number of times... and each time failed or relapsed due to myself holding myself back. And, I would come here post it... tell another human about it... and move on and try again.
This time I am doing it the right way with a sponser and working the 12 steps.... it is one of the hardest things I have ever done... but, I have put together almost 20 days sober.
Saliena
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Xcon 
but I feel like I've got more work to do on myself (and for the community), so here I am.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Hi xcon, and welcome to SR. I can speak for myself and a ton of others here when I say that you have no worries of being judged here.
Congrats on your accomplishments. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction in life, but you just have to do some fine tuning.
If you feel that pot is causing you problems in your life, then it more than likely is. You mentioned you started a family. I'm assuming that means that you have a child in your life. As they get older, it gets harder, not easier, and the last thing you need is to not be fully present because of using pot.
You also mentioned that you want to do work on yourself and in your community. Let me tell you, that this is the easiest time to get involved in making a difference in someones life by volunteering. Me and my kids are delivering baskets this weekend to families in need. Talk about an eye opener. The good feelings I get are better than any buzz from alcohol or pot. Ditch the pot for a couple days, volunteer your time to a soup kitchen or other organization, and let that be the first step.
And remember, there isn't a person out there who doesn't need to work on themselves. Its an ongoing process that everyone needs to keep up on.
You've done wonderful things. Believe that theres more wonderful things in store for you if you open yourself to them.
Glad you're here.
Congrats on your accomplishments. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction in life, but you just have to do some fine tuning.
If you feel that pot is causing you problems in your life, then it more than likely is. You mentioned you started a family. I'm assuming that means that you have a child in your life. As they get older, it gets harder, not easier, and the last thing you need is to not be fully present because of using pot.
You also mentioned that you want to do work on yourself and in your community. Let me tell you, that this is the easiest time to get involved in making a difference in someones life by volunteering. Me and my kids are delivering baskets this weekend to families in need. Talk about an eye opener. The good feelings I get are better than any buzz from alcohol or pot. Ditch the pot for a couple days, volunteer your time to a soup kitchen or other organization, and let that be the first step.
And remember, there isn't a person out there who doesn't need to work on themselves. Its an ongoing process that everyone needs to keep up on.
You've done wonderful things. Believe that theres more wonderful things in store for you if you open yourself to them.
Glad you're here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Xcon
Welcome. I destroyed my life as completely on pot as I did later with alcohol.
There's no such thing as a minor drug to me LOL - if I liked it, I used ridiculous amounts and I always ended up in the same bad, dark, place. I was the problem, not the drug of the moment.
Good to have you with us - you'll find a lot of support here
D
Welcome. I destroyed my life as completely on pot as I did later with alcohol.
There's no such thing as a minor drug to me LOL - if I liked it, I used ridiculous amounts and I always ended up in the same bad, dark, place. I was the problem, not the drug of the moment.
Good to have you with us - you'll find a lot of support here
D
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