Pleeeease - NEED HELP NOW!!!!
Soberliner
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: KC,MO
Posts: 73
Howdy Feeling down, I'm still trying to work this out, that honesty is the the only way to work out any issue. I'm also trying to learn the 4 L's of life. Dont know whos Quote it is but its (Live,Love Laugh, N Learn). Answers will never come from any alchol. Hope you can find things you can do to get your mind off of drinking. We learn from our misstakes but try and not make too many tho. Life is to short as it is. Prayers of hope Be with you....SMILE...
Last edited by Soberliner; 10-04-2010 at 01:43 AM. Reason: dont make since in one area.
Enjoying Sobriety
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 143
Hi FD! Welcome to Sober Recovery. This place is awesome. The people here have helped me many, many times!
I am so proud of you and the obvious progess you are making. I promise it gets better every day. Some days are still challenging because ... well, this is life. But as long as I don't drink, my days are always so much better than they were when I was drunk!
I was on anti-depressants and went to counseling (off and on) for thirty years! That's right 30 years. Then I finally put down the drugs and alcohol and have not taken any meds for over a year and a half and I feel better than I have in my entire life! I am not exaggerating.
I never told the doctors or therapists how much I truly drank. Guess that means I was ashamed and knew deep, down inside I had a problem. They could not help me because I was not honest. Ever!
When I finally got honest with myself, my higher power and others I finally started on the road to recovery. I can't tell you how great it feels to lie down and go to sleep knowing I have told the truth all day and I don't need anything to help me fall asleep. I can look people in the eye today. I laugh and get such a kick out of little things...sunrises, other people, my daughter, taking a walk etc... I am dependable today. I am responsible today. I am healthy and happy and oh, so thankful!
Just try to make it 24 hours without a drink. Don't worry about tomorrow, concentrate on today. Tomorrow you can go for another 24 hours. Life is so good if I stay sober to enjoy it!
You can do this, FD. If I can do it.....anyone can!
Love, Hugs, Kisses and Sunshine to you!
I am so proud of you and the obvious progess you are making. I promise it gets better every day. Some days are still challenging because ... well, this is life. But as long as I don't drink, my days are always so much better than they were when I was drunk!
I was on anti-depressants and went to counseling (off and on) for thirty years! That's right 30 years. Then I finally put down the drugs and alcohol and have not taken any meds for over a year and a half and I feel better than I have in my entire life! I am not exaggerating.
I never told the doctors or therapists how much I truly drank. Guess that means I was ashamed and knew deep, down inside I had a problem. They could not help me because I was not honest. Ever!
When I finally got honest with myself, my higher power and others I finally started on the road to recovery. I can't tell you how great it feels to lie down and go to sleep knowing I have told the truth all day and I don't need anything to help me fall asleep. I can look people in the eye today. I laugh and get such a kick out of little things...sunrises, other people, my daughter, taking a walk etc... I am dependable today. I am responsible today. I am healthy and happy and oh, so thankful!
Just try to make it 24 hours without a drink. Don't worry about tomorrow, concentrate on today. Tomorrow you can go for another 24 hours. Life is so good if I stay sober to enjoy it!
You can do this, FD. If I can do it.....anyone can!
Love, Hugs, Kisses and Sunshine to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Hi FeelingDown! So glad to hear you're feeling better! Sounds like you're on the right track. Have you asked your doctor whether the antidepressants work when you are drinking? Maybe if you stay off the booze, let the medications do their work and continue to see the counselor, attend group meetings, etc. you'll feel ever so much better very soon and can be more comfortable in your job situation. Every good wish.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 85
I am on Effexor for my depression and my shrink told me that drinking while taking the med is not only dangerous but it doesn't allow the med to work properly.
Now that I am sober awhile the med can start to work properly.
I am glad you are reaching out and were honest with your doctor and are seeking counseling.
All the best
Now that I am sober awhile the med can start to work properly.
I am glad you are reaching out and were honest with your doctor and are seeking counseling.
All the best
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Not sure if anyone is online right now who will be able to respond...
Anyway, my fabulous doctor has arranged for me to see a specialise alcohol counsellor and I am going in the nest half hour or so.
I have been *trying* to be sober for nearly 2 weeks now, although I must admit I have struggled and have had a few slip ups, although for sure drinking a bunch less than I was....
Anyway, and last minute top tips - I am assuming honesty is the best policy - right?
x
Anyway, my fabulous doctor has arranged for me to see a specialise alcohol counsellor and I am going in the nest half hour or so.
I have been *trying* to be sober for nearly 2 weeks now, although I must admit I have struggled and have had a few slip ups, although for sure drinking a bunch less than I was....
Anyway, and last minute top tips - I am assuming honesty is the best policy - right?
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Hey - I probably should have started a new thread, now that I think about it - all of that stuff on the first page or so is a lot to read through. Anyway, I have to go now as need to eat a sandwich and then myself to the centre for my session. I'll let you know how it goes later on.
Thanks for all your help and support.
Thanks for all your help and support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
It was ok.
But I am very upset, mainly with myself. For not being honest with myself over the last couple of weeks and potentially jeopordising (sp?) my family and job and the whole she-bang.
On the plus - I got some very good practical tips:
1. Leave my bank card at home
2. Only take enough money each day for lunch and bus fare or, better still, make packed lunch and take bus far only. DON'T take enough money for a half bottle of vodka
3. Tell my husband ALL of my hiding places and ask him to do a quick search every day (I have told him this already and feel soooo sorry I have had to ask him to help me with this - sob). He is a darling and (god knows) this must be very hard on him but I know he is on board.
I think that's the main ones. These are the ones I am going to work on this week.
Thank you so much for responding. I feel so rubbish for feeling so sorry for myself. I can be better than this, for sure.
But I am very upset, mainly with myself. For not being honest with myself over the last couple of weeks and potentially jeopordising (sp?) my family and job and the whole she-bang.
On the plus - I got some very good practical tips:
1. Leave my bank card at home
2. Only take enough money each day for lunch and bus fare or, better still, make packed lunch and take bus far only. DON'T take enough money for a half bottle of vodka
3. Tell my husband ALL of my hiding places and ask him to do a quick search every day (I have told him this already and feel soooo sorry I have had to ask him to help me with this - sob). He is a darling and (god knows) this must be very hard on him but I know he is on board.
I think that's the main ones. These are the ones I am going to work on this week.
Thank you so much for responding. I feel so rubbish for feeling so sorry for myself. I can be better than this, for sure.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi and welcome back feelingdown
I'm glad you went to the counsellor and were honest. No sense in holding anything back in those situations - they're there to help.
I hope you found whatever else they had to say helpful and hope this can be a turning point for you
D
I'm glad you went to the counsellor and were honest. No sense in holding anything back in those situations - they're there to help.
I hope you found whatever else they had to say helpful and hope this can be a turning point for you
D
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hope you're not going to count on your husband to police you.
That really isn't fair to him--I spent years in Al-Anon learning NOT to do stuff like that.
And if you think leaving your money and credit cards at home is going to keep you sober, well, I hate to break it to you, but that will only work VERY short-term. As soon as you really want to drink you'll figure out a way to do it.
UNLESS you get a real recovery plan going. I recommend AA, but there are other programs out there as well. The idea is to recover so you don't need to be babysat or to do things like not carrying money to keep yourself from drinking.
That really isn't fair to him--I spent years in Al-Anon learning NOT to do stuff like that.
And if you think leaving your money and credit cards at home is going to keep you sober, well, I hate to break it to you, but that will only work VERY short-term. As soon as you really want to drink you'll figure out a way to do it.
UNLESS you get a real recovery plan going. I recommend AA, but there are other programs out there as well. The idea is to recover so you don't need to be babysat or to do things like not carrying money to keep yourself from drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Lexie
You are absolutely right in that it is not fair on asking my husband to baby sit me, but we are just gonna try this out for this week to truly get me detoxed. My husband was more than happy to do this for the time being (we really are very close, believe it or not).
The counsellor did say that we need to get to the bottom of why I drink and to come up with a much longer term plan. She is not an AA counsellor, but the recovery programme they offer include complete abstinence and also a moderated drinking plan. I'm leaning towards abstinence because I don't think I can just drink one or two or, at least not now. For many many years that was exactly what I could do, but something just turned the wrong way in recent months.....
I do appreciate you messaging this to me as it has made me think. This ain't gone be as easy to crack as just doing these short term things. Thanks.
You are absolutely right in that it is not fair on asking my husband to baby sit me, but we are just gonna try this out for this week to truly get me detoxed. My husband was more than happy to do this for the time being (we really are very close, believe it or not).
The counsellor did say that we need to get to the bottom of why I drink and to come up with a much longer term plan. She is not an AA counsellor, but the recovery programme they offer include complete abstinence and also a moderated drinking plan. I'm leaning towards abstinence because I don't think I can just drink one or two or, at least not now. For many many years that was exactly what I could do, but something just turned the wrong way in recent months.....
I do appreciate you messaging this to me as it has made me think. This ain't gone be as easy to crack as just doing these short term things. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
FD, I am very glad you went to the counselor and for posting here. That in itself is a huge step.
Look, the road to recovery is about work. Work that you must do as I and so many others have done. With that being said....having support is critical and in the beginning days/weeks we may need others to help us and show us the way.
My husband knew about my drinking, never condoned it nor approved of it. He could have lectured me daily about it and I still would have drank. I didn't rely on him nor anyone solely to get sober and begin recovery. It was when I did it myself that I got it. Now if having him on board to monitor you the first few days while you begin to get settled is not a bad thing.....know that you can't rely on him or anyone else to do this work for you. I will say sometimes if we have to tape ourselves up and others are needed through our asking to stick crutches under us to get us to our first session or first meeting or what not then by all means DO IT.
What helped me was having him on board with me which he agreed to. Know he didn't toss my booze out - that was on me but he was there to give me a hug. Get what I am saying here? He believed in me....but never jeopardized his well being for my addiction.
You have SR, you have counseling and it seems the support is there on the homefront for you to do this journey. Sobriety is amazing and as we learn the tools, adjust our ways and look towards healthy living and positive change - YES - sobriety is attainable and there are many positive support options out there for you.
I think you are doing great and urge you to stay the course. Many of us could drink socially and somewheres along the way it changed. Moderation/cutting back is not an option in my book and it is one that usually drags us back to the vicious cycle and sobriety is about moving forward.
I look at me now and I am a better person and have a far better life then I could have imagined. All of this because I removed alcohol and got into recovery that is based on abstinence. This is why I say.....I no longer need/want the bottle in my life.
If you need to take just enough $$ to get to where you are going then do it! You do what you need to at this point until you get a firm grasp in recovery. Recovery ain't a one day thing and it wasn't easy to change my ways.....but I did and countless others have as well.
Huggs and you will draw strength. Every single day sober.....doing the work....and staying in recovery will get you there.
All the best!! Look at the positive vibe already in this post. It only gets better FD.
Look, the road to recovery is about work. Work that you must do as I and so many others have done. With that being said....having support is critical and in the beginning days/weeks we may need others to help us and show us the way.
My husband knew about my drinking, never condoned it nor approved of it. He could have lectured me daily about it and I still would have drank. I didn't rely on him nor anyone solely to get sober and begin recovery. It was when I did it myself that I got it. Now if having him on board to monitor you the first few days while you begin to get settled is not a bad thing.....know that you can't rely on him or anyone else to do this work for you. I will say sometimes if we have to tape ourselves up and others are needed through our asking to stick crutches under us to get us to our first session or first meeting or what not then by all means DO IT.
What helped me was having him on board with me which he agreed to. Know he didn't toss my booze out - that was on me but he was there to give me a hug. Get what I am saying here? He believed in me....but never jeopardized his well being for my addiction.
You have SR, you have counseling and it seems the support is there on the homefront for you to do this journey. Sobriety is amazing and as we learn the tools, adjust our ways and look towards healthy living and positive change - YES - sobriety is attainable and there are many positive support options out there for you.
I think you are doing great and urge you to stay the course. Many of us could drink socially and somewheres along the way it changed. Moderation/cutting back is not an option in my book and it is one that usually drags us back to the vicious cycle and sobriety is about moving forward.
I look at me now and I am a better person and have a far better life then I could have imagined. All of this because I removed alcohol and got into recovery that is based on abstinence. This is why I say.....I no longer need/want the bottle in my life.
If you need to take just enough $$ to get to where you are going then do it! You do what you need to at this point until you get a firm grasp in recovery. Recovery ain't a one day thing and it wasn't easy to change my ways.....but I did and countless others have as well.
Huggs and you will draw strength. Every single day sober.....doing the work....and staying in recovery will get you there.
All the best!! Look at the positive vibe already in this post. It only gets better FD.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Thanks Kim
Your words have given me some extra renewed strength. One day at a time. Today I will not drink. Today I will try and focus on my work.
I have a whole 50p in my purse today just in case my lovely packed lunch that hubbie made me isn't enought to eat - lol! He dropped me off at work and is gonna pick me up later today.
Yes - *I* need to do the work, not him. You are sooo right. He will always been there for hugs.
He and I had an interesting discussion about the other merits of only taking enough cash per day regardless of buying alcohol - means both of us will spend less on stuff we don't need and then we can save up for something more fun for us as a family.
We have looked at booking a wee stay in these funny little upside down boat wigwam things - our daughter would love that, as well as our doggie as well as us.
So, the alcoholic that is in me aside, this in itself is a good motivator for not spending money on stuff I don't need (including oh, you know, that new face cream or whatever).
I'm just blah blahing now. But want to say big thanks to you all - I do appreciate your fantastic support and also challenging of my thinking - g0d knows, my thinking is all a bit screwed up from the brain cells killed off (although I believe new neuron links can form in time - that's good, right?)
x
Your words have given me some extra renewed strength. One day at a time. Today I will not drink. Today I will try and focus on my work.
I have a whole 50p in my purse today just in case my lovely packed lunch that hubbie made me isn't enought to eat - lol! He dropped me off at work and is gonna pick me up later today.
Yes - *I* need to do the work, not him. You are sooo right. He will always been there for hugs.
He and I had an interesting discussion about the other merits of only taking enough cash per day regardless of buying alcohol - means both of us will spend less on stuff we don't need and then we can save up for something more fun for us as a family.
We have looked at booking a wee stay in these funny little upside down boat wigwam things - our daughter would love that, as well as our doggie as well as us.
So, the alcoholic that is in me aside, this in itself is a good motivator for not spending money on stuff I don't need (including oh, you know, that new face cream or whatever).
I'm just blah blahing now. But want to say big thanks to you all - I do appreciate your fantastic support and also challenging of my thinking - g0d knows, my thinking is all a bit screwed up from the brain cells killed off (although I believe new neuron links can form in time - that's good, right?)
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Haha - well, I *did* spend the 50p - on a cherry scone with butter - yum, yum.
It's nearly time to go home from work for me today. There have been only two or maybe three times where I have thought 'god, I would like / murder a drink', so I guess that's good / not too bad.
Husband and I have a jam packed evening planned: going for dinner at kid friendly mexican - no margharita for me - take dog for walk, get little one in bath and to bed and then we are going to rearrange hubbie and my's bedroom - whew - by that time, should be knackered and asleep.
I know I sound quite upbeat and I am, sort of, although I am also trying to 'fake it till I make it' as I do feel sad, tired and worn out under it all, but I know I will start to feel better soon.
It's nearly time to go home from work for me today. There have been only two or maybe three times where I have thought 'god, I would like / murder a drink', so I guess that's good / not too bad.
Husband and I have a jam packed evening planned: going for dinner at kid friendly mexican - no margharita for me - take dog for walk, get little one in bath and to bed and then we are going to rearrange hubbie and my's bedroom - whew - by that time, should be knackered and asleep.
I know I sound quite upbeat and I am, sort of, although I am also trying to 'fake it till I make it' as I do feel sad, tired and worn out under it all, but I know I will start to feel better soon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Well, last night went pretty well.
We all went to a pasta place for our tea and our daughter got to make her own pizza which she loved - she kept saying to the passing waiters 'this pizza is yummy' - so sweet.
Hubbie did say I was being a little bit cranky but I remembered to explain that my alcohol counsellor said that I probably would for a good while yet and just to explain to hubbie rather than say nothing.
It also turned out (sorry, this is TMI), that my body decided to do a very substantial detox of its own once we got home and I visited the bathroom - I guess this is normal?!?
We *did* move our bedroom around - boy it was hard work. Our bedroom is a strange shape so it is not possible to move the orientation of the bed without taking the mattress off and turning the whole thing on its side and it is d@rn heavy. But we did it!!
And, oh my goodness, we have a lovely beagle doggie but he does shed a lot and once we started moving furniture we found sooooo much beagle hair (which we did hoover up - didn't just leave it there - lol). We both said almost at once ' we really need to do this more often - think of all that beagle hair we have been breathing in').
But I guess that's part of me being in a dark place for a while - I have let household chores slide way beyond what I would normally ever do.
For now, I am proud that we set a plan for last night and we did it. AND NO ALCOHOL - at all. Way me!
Oh, and today, I have 80p in case I need more munchies - lol.
We all went to a pasta place for our tea and our daughter got to make her own pizza which she loved - she kept saying to the passing waiters 'this pizza is yummy' - so sweet.
Hubbie did say I was being a little bit cranky but I remembered to explain that my alcohol counsellor said that I probably would for a good while yet and just to explain to hubbie rather than say nothing.
It also turned out (sorry, this is TMI), that my body decided to do a very substantial detox of its own once we got home and I visited the bathroom - I guess this is normal?!?
We *did* move our bedroom around - boy it was hard work. Our bedroom is a strange shape so it is not possible to move the orientation of the bed without taking the mattress off and turning the whole thing on its side and it is d@rn heavy. But we did it!!
And, oh my goodness, we have a lovely beagle doggie but he does shed a lot and once we started moving furniture we found sooooo much beagle hair (which we did hoover up - didn't just leave it there - lol). We both said almost at once ' we really need to do this more often - think of all that beagle hair we have been breathing in').
But I guess that's part of me being in a dark place for a while - I have let household chores slide way beyond what I would normally ever do.
For now, I am proud that we set a plan for last night and we did it. AND NO ALCOHOL - at all. Way me!
Oh, and today, I have 80p in case I need more munchies - lol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
FD....good for you!
I know how it was in the beginning and I am proud that you coming here and sharing. I think it is great for your recovery and I think its something to that you can one day read through and see how much work you have done.
It only gets better! We are routing for you so remember do something positive today and of course feel good about not drinking. I did that upfront....each day I looked at how all of the simple joys in my life had gone unnoticed for so long. Also, I know I am a better person sober
Focus on the good! Way to go FD.
I know how it was in the beginning and I am proud that you coming here and sharing. I think it is great for your recovery and I think its something to that you can one day read through and see how much work you have done.
It only gets better! We are routing for you so remember do something positive today and of course feel good about not drinking. I did that upfront....each day I looked at how all of the simple joys in my life had gone unnoticed for so long. Also, I know I am a better person sober
Focus on the good! Way to go FD.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Quick update - all going great, in fact, even better as each day goes on. Realise I have been really neglecting the house and garden - got the grass cut, new grass seed down on some bare patches (please grow!!! lol), all of the laundry up to date, finished moving some more furniture around, baked yummy things, did art stuff with my daughter, did dishes, had a fun family day out and basically wore myself out in a *good* way over the weekend.
I have to say, I do feel quite proud of myself.
Tonight - either tackling the ironing or scrubbing the bathroom, depending on my mood x
I have to say, I do feel quite proud of myself.
Tonight - either tackling the ironing or scrubbing the bathroom, depending on my mood x
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 9
hi feeling down
This has been great to read how well you are doing. I'm very early in recovery (2 weeks) and going into rehab next week. Like you I started drinking before work due to stress and sneaky drinks throughout the day that escalated until it was no longer a secret and I reached my three strikes and out. I also had depression and anxiety around being a perfectionist at work and not admitting the workload was becoming more than I could manage.
It is a great reminder at the start of your posts of how bad it was and how I need to do everything in my power to not go back there and work hard in rehab. But it has also been very uplifting in your last posts of how much better sober living really is despite the cravings!
Thank you so much for sharing and good luck ongoing!
This has been great to read how well you are doing. I'm very early in recovery (2 weeks) and going into rehab next week. Like you I started drinking before work due to stress and sneaky drinks throughout the day that escalated until it was no longer a secret and I reached my three strikes and out. I also had depression and anxiety around being a perfectionist at work and not admitting the workload was becoming more than I could manage.
It is a great reminder at the start of your posts of how bad it was and how I need to do everything in my power to not go back there and work hard in rehab. But it has also been very uplifting in your last posts of how much better sober living really is despite the cravings!
Thank you so much for sharing and good luck ongoing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Originally Posted by Lou2 
hi feeling down
This has been great to read how well you are doing. I'm very early in recovery (2 weeks) and going into rehab next week. Like you I started drinking before work due to stress and sneaky drinks throughout the day that escalated until it was no longer a secret and I reached my three strikes and out. I also had depression and anxiety around being a perfectionist at work and not admitting the workload was becoming more than I could manage.
It is a great reminder at the start of your posts of how bad it was and how I need to do everything in my power to not go back there and work hard in rehab. But it has also been very uplifting in your last posts of how much better sober living really is despite the cravings!
Thank you so much for sharing and good luck ongoing!
This has been great to read how well you are doing. I'm very early in recovery (2 weeks) and going into rehab next week. Like you I started drinking before work due to stress and sneaky drinks throughout the day that escalated until it was no longer a secret and I reached my three strikes and out. I also had depression and anxiety around being a perfectionist at work and not admitting the workload was becoming more than I could manage.
It is a great reminder at the start of your posts of how bad it was and how I need to do everything in my power to not go back there and work hard in rehab. But it has also been very uplifting in your last posts of how much better sober living really is despite the cravings!
Thank you so much for sharing and good luck ongoing!
Best of luck with rehab - I am doing my rehab with counselling, family and friends help (in the last few days I have 'confessed' to two friends who I really trust what has been going on and they were actually not that shocked but were very supportive - really felt good to share with them).
I never did the ironing or bathroom, though - totally fell asleep very early instead - in fact, have done so the last couple of nights - lol. I guess sleep is more important than house stuff, but I am determined to continue with my catching up on house stuff - poor hubbie has been shouldering too much for too long.
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