LivingAgain2

For the past 5 years I've used Friday night as an excuse to drink - either with others or alone. I"m on day 4 today so I'm still struggling with getting through the strong temptations of my first week. I've been attending AA meetings the past few days and they have really helped. I have other AA member's names to call if I need to, and, i have a commitment to meet someone at a 8 pm meeting tonight. BUT - getting to 8 pm is my problem. I"m usually at home with 10 beers in me before then on a Friday night.

To break my bad Friday night habit, I want to replace it with a good one. I'm thinking about coming home and going straight out for a walk. I belong to a gym but haven't gone for the past 18 months because it got in the way of my heavy drinking (I've also put on 30 lbs over those 18 months that I am going to lose because that in itself makes me feel miserable). Maybe tonight's the night I start up again. I also thought about making a list today while at work of things that I need to do tonight/errands I need to run - anything to keep me busy and distracted.

Any other suggestions out there?

Dee74

It is hard to change the routine but thats exactly what we need to do.

We're only limited by our imagination I think LivingAgain2

Here's a thread of suggestions - maybe it will help start you off

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

D

stephnc

First off, congrats on your sober time! I can totally feel you with the dilemma of empty non-drinking hours, it was a challenge for me in the earlier days of my sobriety (it gets better, I promise...and I've only been sober for about four months.)

As far as what to do, walking or getting exercise is a great idea - but if you're not up for that much exertion, maybe go see a movie or call one of your AA friends to get together for coffee or dinner before the meeting. You might also check out the chat room here on SR...I find that spending time chatting can eat up a lot of time - which can be good or bad!

Anyways, good luck and hang in there...you're doing great!

Stephanie

LexieCat

There's no law that says you can't go to two meetings in a night, either. If there's one after work, you could hit that one.

Otherwise, I like the running errands idea. One of the things I loved about being sober in the beginning was being able to drive anywhere I wanted, any time I wanted. No fear of getting behind the wheel.

least

Replacing your drinking time with exercise would be great cause not only would it keep you from drinking, it would help you get back in shape quicker. I say go for it. After some time passes it will be normal to fill time without drinking. And after some more time passes the thought of drinking won't even enter your head.

WakeUp

How about make yourself a nice cup of tea tonight?

stanleyhouse

I like being out on Friday nights running errands, shopping. People are in good moods and the world seems to be electric. I would suggest eating an early dinner so you are full and less likely to crave booze.
SH

Freeport

The gym sounds like a very simple, logical plan, especially since you already have a membership. Get in shape, stay sober, and you might meet some interesting people.

Folks new to sobriety probably hate it when some of us SR old-timers (do I qualify as an old-timer yet?) say what I'm about to say, but I will anyway: booze gets in the way of life, so when we eliminate booze, life occupies our time again. You don't need booze to keep busy. Let me give you a separate example. I attended grad school for 2.5 years and was terrible busy. Afterwards, I figured I'd have loads of free time, yet my life feels just as crazy now as it did then. Where the hell all those hours I devoted to homework, projects, and classroom went, I do not know.

Booze is same way. As we consider getting sober and during early stages, we're not quite sure what to do with ourselves. You know what? There are all kinds of better priorities in our life that we'll set ourselves about tackling, completing, and accomplishing. The very thought of sitting in a bar, or anywhere, focusing in a chemical strikes me as such a colossal waste of time. Maybe someone who's only been sober 16 months shouldn't be acting so smug, but I've seen this question repeated here over and over, and it's how I feel.

lildawg

Well, Freeport, if you're smug I'm smug, too. I've got 32 months sober, and being in a bar is the last thing on which I want to use up irreplaceable minutes of my life. When I first got sober, I didn't mind sitting in bars so much because I was used to it. Now that some time has passed, though, I can't think of many things I'd rather do less than sit in a bar watching people drink and get drunk. <boooorrrrinnng>

LivingAgain2 -- Around here, they have a lot of AA meetings at 6 p.m. Provided your area has the same, you could hit one of those. After that, hit the gym. That should use up most of your evening. If you still feel restless after the gym, find a video store or a red box and rent a movie. By the time you watch the movie, the hour should be getting late. Perhaps you can sleep. Keep on with your quit. You're doing great.

Anna

You're right on with your plan to shake up your routine.

That really helped me in the early days. I was a creature of habit, and doing something different right after dinner, which was my difficult time, really worked for me. I decided to do long walks after supper and the benefits have been abundant. Not only did it get me through the difficult hours, but I started to pay attention to the nature around me and I got stronger.

Mcribb

I would use the time to take action towards sobrety, towards the light, read, talk to sponsers, etc. I find myself putting my sobriety #1 then when I get free time I put it towards sobriety. You get out of it what you put in. Mine has been so rewarding, so graceful you wouldn't believe it.

CarolD

Hmm...
I'd be pampering myself a bit.
A new hair cut and style? A facial?
Manicure and oedicure? A new fall outfit?

Not sure about your budget...but some of these
could be done with the money not spent on booze.

Part of my recovery is looking better....

ChangeIsGood123

check out the stickie on the top of the forums called "Looking for Something To Do". Lots of good ideas in there and it will also pass the time just reading it!

milwaukeeguy85

The physical and psychological effects of working out can be profound. Go to the gym, work your tail off. You will start to feel a difference very soon. Working out can be such an overlooked aspect of alcoholics and sober people alike.

Mark75

Hey!... my experience with Friday nights was that they were tough at first... they just were... exercise, no exercise, music, TV... it was what it was... though I found getting a DVD I wanted to watch helped a lot.

But the best is to go to a meeting, or meetings... a focal point, a purpose, being with people that know exactly what this thing is all about.

Do this over and over and it will no longer seem strange, I promise.

Fandy

many people will be observing Yom Kippur tonight and the gym might be quieter than usual. a perfect time to slip into a starting work-out routine. you might feel more comfortable without a big crowd.

after a work-out a nice healthy dinner and relaxing to bask in your accomplishments of the last 9 days.

Cottonwoodchris

Well, I work Friday and Saturday nights, so it's not been that hard for me to worry about going out. Haven't been to a bar in 10 years. Not to say I didn't have several drinks after work at home. Then one in the morning and another before work.

The time I spent drinking, well, let's just say this place needs a darn good cleaning. So I've been concentrating on that instead of sitting bored thinking about a drink. Going thru old paperwork, junk laying around. Time to clean my life up and make some real changes that will stick.

Man, I really like being sober again. Day 16.

LivingAgain2

Based on everyone's advice on this thread, I got home, cooked myself an early dinner, made arrangements to meet another AA member for coffee at 7 pm before the 8 pm meeting (which now after being on this board is only 30 min away). When I get home, if I'm still anxious, I will either go to the gym which is open 24 hrs or go for a walk. Tomorrow - day 5 - which will also be hard for me because it will be my first Saturday - I am going to an 8 am meeting then cleaning house (when I sobered up I realized what a mess this place has become from neglect). I made plans to meet a friend for shopping and dinner in the PM.

I'm only on day 4 but I thank God each day for helping me stay strong and bring the wonderful people from AA into my life that I have meet this week. I already feel better and my good friend (who knows what I am going thru) said she can tell a difference in my appearance already - my skin looks healthier - I'm not so bloated - and have an overall better appearance and mood. I'm going to try to remember that when I get tempted tomorrow - then I'm going to head to the gym to make myself even more healthier.

Thanks everyone for your support and responding to this thread. It helps so much and I'm so glad I found this site.

stanleyhouse

woo hoo! Sounds like a plan. Thanks for checking in.
SH

doggonecarl

Hope you made it through your Friday OK, LivingAgain2. And good luck on the upcoming Saturday. I know what you mean about Friday nights and drinking. I probably drank on over 1700 of them. But, this is my second Friday in a row where I haven't gotten drunk. And I feel strong. Watched some baseball, took all my dogs for a late walk, and now spending some time on SR, which has been a great help.