Very scared feeling suicidal
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 207
Wow - Tomorrow is always a new day and a new start. Being proactive is good to find a meeting - this step can be impt to you and you will find the meetings very supportive - people don't judge you. I have been going to a meeting almost every day for the past 2 weeks and I was very afraid to even try. I can tell you from my experience - it has made a big difference.
So find a meeting and please let us know how it goes - even if you are feeling better tomorrow - that is the best time to get brave and give it a try. We are here and care very much.
So find a meeting and please let us know how it goes - even if you are feeling better tomorrow - that is the best time to get brave and give it a try. We are here and care very much.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Wow: When you go to a meeting, why not tell them exactly where you are, emotionally and otherwise. Hold nothing back. And then ask if there is any person there (preferably a woman and preferably a mom, like you) who would care to be your very special friend and helpmate in these very difficult times you are going through, someone you can call on the telephone any time. Someone you can share your feelings and concerns with. You need lots of support right now. Hope you get some. Good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Originally Posted by wpainterw 
Wow: When you go to a meeting, why not tell them exactly where you are, emotionally and otherwise. Hold nothing back. And then ask if there is any person there (preferably a woman and preferably a mom, like you) who would care to be your very special friend and helpmate in these very difficult times you are going through, someone you can call on the telephone any time. Someone you can share your feelings and concerns with. You need lots of support right now. Hope you get some. Good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 207
Great advise from W. People at the meetings I went to really understand what it is like at the beginning and part of what makes this work is to have someone to call who understands what you are going through. They were once there and know how impt it was to them - and still is to have someone to call. This is a bumpy path we are on and that is why we need to plan for the rough spots and know there will be someone to talk to at the critical moments.
Wow, let us know how it all goes. It will be nice to hear that you have a phone number. People gave me phone numbers and my big step this week is to use one - whether or not I am in a rough spot. Just as attending my first meeting was scary and new, calling someone sort of feels this way.
Wow, let us know how it all goes. It will be nice to hear that you have a phone number. People gave me phone numbers and my big step this week is to use one - whether or not I am in a rough spot. Just as attending my first meeting was scary and new, calling someone sort of feels this way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ft. lauderdale florida
Posts: 275
Yes, yes excellent advice. I do plan on standing up saying stuff.I need a woman older mother friend I can call absolutely/ yes, its pretty bumpy road. Hardcore crap going on here. I have alot to say.
I cant sleep.
i starting to panic
I need a to sleep
I cant sleep.
i starting to panic
I need a to sleep
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Thinking of you Wow. I suffered quite a bit with anxiety and panic attacks and I chose to try to drown it out by continuing to drink. What I finally realized was that the anxiety was stemming from the drinking.
Every day is a new day and this place you are in right now is just that....right now. You can put this behind you and you can get sober.
Keep posting and let us know how the meeting goes. Face to face support is must for some of us. When I added this piece it was tremendous to staying sober and getting better.
Every day is a new day and this place you are in right now is just that....right now. You can put this behind you and you can get sober.
Keep posting and let us know how the meeting goes. Face to face support is must for some of us. When I added this piece it was tremendous to staying sober and getting better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ft. lauderdale florida
Posts: 275
I'm praying, I've been praying all night. I can't sleep, i have been awake for almost 24 hrs. please pray. that I sleep soon. I had a sp awakening at 7am today. God came through. I don't think he is angry at me anymore. but i neeed to sleep first. That I can get back at tell all you guys out there about.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by wow1323
I don't think he is angry at me anymore.
I think what we're feeling when we think it's God punishing us is really just how it feels when we remove ourselves from God. We put ourselves into the penalty box and pay prices we determine we need to pay. God has no price though....He's always there, always willing and always loving us.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 302
You're son needs you, and I'm sure you want him to be a happy baby and to grow up being a happy kid. You can get through this!! He needs you to raise him to become a gentleman and to have his own hopes for a good future!
I'm sitting on here right now while my 2 yr old daughter puts a puzzle together on the floor... I started coughing and she says "Mommy are you ok?"
She's so caring! Point is, your son may only be 15 months (mine is 10 mos older) but he still cares about his mommy and wants her to be ok. You WILL be ok! You are a terrific mother and you wouldn't be on here getting help if you weren't.
Way to go mom!!
I'm sitting on here right now while my 2 yr old daughter puts a puzzle together on the floor... I started coughing and she says "Mommy are you ok?"
She's so caring! Point is, your son may only be 15 months (mine is 10 mos older) but he still cares about his mommy and wants her to be ok. You WILL be ok! You are a terrific mother and you wouldn't be on here getting help if you weren't. Way to go mom!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 44
I know it is past due to be saying this but I felt a connection and I felt like I could relate to you. I have an eight month old daughter and so often I have imagined the same thing in my head. But I would not and could not leave her.
My mother's mother committed suicide when my mother was only 3 years old. Though my mom was too young to remember the tragedy of what happened, she was too young to remember her mother hardly at all.
You are such a significant woman in your child's life and no person or thing could replace that. You have an opportunity to show this child the way life should be and let him feel all the happiness in the world.
That thought alone helped me to be strong when I was having those weak thoughts. I would just go in my baby's room and hold her so tight and cry, she is so innocent and so dependent on me to be there for her. I knew that I was weak and was hurting and it may sound bad but she helped me through it by just being there.
I want to be happy for her and certainly for myself. I think it is very important to heal yourself first. Possibly if you have a trusted family member or friend that could take him for a few days, this way you could sleep and relax and take some time for yourself. "You time" is definitely one of the best antidodes for saddness or depression.
Take my word for it, I did it yesterday and the day before.
Good luck to you. Be strong until you can find that peace of mind and happiness.
My mother's mother committed suicide when my mother was only 3 years old. Though my mom was too young to remember the tragedy of what happened, she was too young to remember her mother hardly at all.
You are such a significant woman in your child's life and no person or thing could replace that. You have an opportunity to show this child the way life should be and let him feel all the happiness in the world.
That thought alone helped me to be strong when I was having those weak thoughts. I would just go in my baby's room and hold her so tight and cry, she is so innocent and so dependent on me to be there for her. I knew that I was weak and was hurting and it may sound bad but she helped me through it by just being there.
I want to be happy for her and certainly for myself. I think it is very important to heal yourself first. Possibly if you have a trusted family member or friend that could take him for a few days, this way you could sleep and relax and take some time for yourself. "You time" is definitely one of the best antidodes for saddness or depression.
Take my word for it, I did it yesterday and the day before.
Good luck to you. Be strong until you can find that peace of mind and happiness.
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