Very scared feeling suicidal
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ft. lauderdale florida
Posts: 275
i've been thinking about that too. Once get my strength back I would love to start a mothers group. Sort of like that 1-800 number or something in the neighborhood. I mean if we all go to aa or alanon or therapist... why not a moms group. i never knew the amount of work emotional and physically it takes to be a mom. I think i romantized it so much. The blessing had become a curse...I don't know maybe because of the isolation, maybe because it was labor day and I saw all those families at the pool. And it was just me and Ro sitting alone. I guess sometimes it still hurts..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Bless your heart, wow. that must have been hard for you. But God bless you, you took him and gave him a fun time. you did it for him, and for you. that memory someday will not be hurtful , it will be sweet. Your son will grow up , so quickly, and you will look back on that day, and wish you could do it over. just to hold their little warm cuddly bodies close to you again. I bet he was so cute in the water. What a good mom you are!
It is wonderful, but so hard sometimes. you need a break, often. you are doing such a good job. I am proud of you. What you are doing takes courage, and love.
You really are something, Wow. Roman is a blessed llittle boy.
If you can, look into a group, or ask at your meetings. perhaps start your own group, some meeting in a park nearby, or a church.
the isolation will get to you. You could maybe get out each day, around others. maybe there is a play group nearby.
Since you are Catholic, is there a church you could attend nearby? they often have nurserys, or groups for families, and probably for single parent families, too. I bet they have some great resources.
I will be praying that you find something to help soon.
until you do, you can post here, or pm any of us.
and there might be options online, for some support.
that number would be good to call, too. it will give you resources, to help you to avoid getting so depressed. there are some good meds for depression too. i took them for a while. i took buprenorphrine, and it help a lot with anxiety. so, take care of you, llittle one. we care, LOTS!
hugs,
chicory
It is wonderful, but so hard sometimes. you need a break, often. you are doing such a good job. I am proud of you. What you are doing takes courage, and love.
You really are something, Wow. Roman is a blessed llittle boy.
If you can, look into a group, or ask at your meetings. perhaps start your own group, some meeting in a park nearby, or a church.
the isolation will get to you. You could maybe get out each day, around others. maybe there is a play group nearby.
Since you are Catholic, is there a church you could attend nearby? they often have nurserys, or groups for families, and probably for single parent families, too. I bet they have some great resources.
I will be praying that you find something to help soon.
until you do, you can post here, or pm any of us.
and there might be options online, for some support.
that number would be good to call, too. it will give you resources, to help you to avoid getting so depressed. there are some good meds for depression too. i took them for a while. i took buprenorphrine, and it help a lot with anxiety. so, take care of you, llittle one. we care, LOTS!
hugs,
chicory
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I understand how you feel. Being a Mom is the toughest job in the world. And, it can be very isolating.
Take a look around your community. Most Librairies offer story time for small children and you could meet some other Moms there. Or go to a neighborhood park with your child. Maybe there is a Church nearby that has a Moms group.
I hope you find something that works for you.
Take a look around your community. Most Librairies offer story time for small children and you could meet some other Moms there. Or go to a neighborhood park with your child. Maybe there is a Church nearby that has a Moms group.
I hope you find something that works for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
I'm so glad you're getting help. I've been there. Only, I got to a point where I didn't...couldn't...stop myself for the sake of my son or any other of my friends and family. In 2008 I was hospitalized five times after taking overdoses and trying to commit suicide. Thankfully I sucked at it and survived each attempt...and thank God my son still has a living mother today.
After my fifth hospitalization, my ex-husband suggested that he retain full-time custody of our boy - at least for a while - however long it took for me to get my life back on track. And while I didn't try to hurt myself again, I did fall into full-fledged alcoholism and spent the next year or so in a pill and booze fog.
I'm fortunate to have a very fair and understanding ex...I see my son whenever I want to, and I feel that he knows how much I love him, despite the fact that he lives with his father most of the time. And I'm getting the help I need, and getting better every day. It's been about a year now that I haven't had the national suicide hotline on speed dial on my phone...I certainly gave them a workout for a while.
Hang in there, and pm me if you'd like to. You're going to be ok.
Stephanie
After my fifth hospitalization, my ex-husband suggested that he retain full-time custody of our boy - at least for a while - however long it took for me to get my life back on track. And while I didn't try to hurt myself again, I did fall into full-fledged alcoholism and spent the next year or so in a pill and booze fog.
I'm fortunate to have a very fair and understanding ex...I see my son whenever I want to, and I feel that he knows how much I love him, despite the fact that he lives with his father most of the time. And I'm getting the help I need, and getting better every day. It's been about a year now that I haven't had the national suicide hotline on speed dial on my phone...I certainly gave them a workout for a while.
Hang in there, and pm me if you'd like to. You're going to be ok.
Stephanie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Wow))) thanks, so much for checking back in. I'm glad you're getting a break and getting a little time to take care of you.
Please do know that you ARE part of the family here, and we care, so very much.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Please do know that you ARE part of the family here, and we care, so very much.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Wow have you given any thought to face to face support - AA or some other group, or some counselling?
Sometimes some 'real world' support can make all the difference and help us make better choices than going back to drinking.
D
Sometimes some 'real world' support can make all the difference and help us make better choices than going back to drinking.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ft. lauderdale florida
Posts: 275
Dee, I will put my son to bed at 7pm and then I will take a shower and TRY to sleep. I know tomorrow will be better. I will find a meeting I will go to the meeting. I realize I am sick.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
wow, we care about you. We want you to be OK. I tried to reply to your other thread, but when I tried to submit my post it had been deleted. I first tried to commit suicide when I was 14.
I'm so sorry that the person who answered your call wasn't helpful.
Please keep posting. Please keep giving us the opportunity to tell you how special you are, and that we care about you.
I'm so sorry that the person who answered your call wasn't helpful.
Please keep posting. Please keep giving us the opportunity to tell you how special you are, and that we care about you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: los angeles, ca
Posts: 1,223
Hey wow, You know hangovers cause anxiety. I have a 12 month old daughter, and I know the guilt and anxiety that came the day after I drank. I felt so unworthy, overwhelmed, exhausted, and a general feeling of I CAN'T do this, what am I doing, I have no business being a mom.
I found just the opposite applied when I stopped. I felt in control. The more days sober the stronger I got. Sobriety is empowering, just try it for a little while, you will see a huge difference in yourself.
I did! I know you will too. Take care. I am always checking in to SR if you need someone to talk to.
I found just the opposite applied when I stopped. I felt in control. The more days sober the stronger I got. Sobriety is empowering, just try it for a little while, you will see a huge difference in yourself.
I did! I know you will too. Take care. I am always checking in to SR if you need someone to talk to.
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