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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Well, its noon where I am on day 2. I feel quite awful. I'm nauseous, shaky, I think my head just explode if I move it quickly, and my legs are shaking so bad I think one of my knees may hit me in the jaw.
So far all you people on here who have been sober for a while, let me tell you, this is the fun you've been missing.
So far all you people on here who have been sober for a while, let me tell you, this is the fun you've been missing.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Hi. I'm glad you made it through Day 1. So did I. How do you feel right now? Physically I feel fine...a little tired. But I'm deffinately craving it bad.
Tonight is going to be rough, and let's face it, it's going to suck. But keep going!
Tonight is going to be rough, and let's face it, it's going to suck. But keep going!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Good to hear you made it through too Irish. I feel pretty awful right now. Read my above post, but I'm staying strong, and I will be moving on to day 3. I'm glad you are feeling better than I am, but with Saturday night here it makes day 2 more difficult. Make sure you move on to day 3 as well.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Thanks Dee. It's now morning of Day 3. It was another rough night, but honestly I actually feel alot better then yesterday. I should feel worse today, but it's more bearable. This day should be an eaisier one to get through. Better days ahead of me. I'm starting to feel hopeful.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
CJ1, I can't help but think it might be a smart thing to see a doctor. And LexieCat asked about if you plan on doing anything different. I don't know if you noticed or not, but your way doesn't seem to be working. There are better ways to do this getting sober thing than trying to do it by yourself.
I myself must have quit at least 100 times or more and thinking all the time, I don't need anyone's help ,I can do it alone. Wasn't very smart thinking on my part and I found out that, in a better way, when I finally asked for help and meant it.
Just wanted to add, I found a better way in AA and I found that I don't have to suffer like that ever again, or drink again.
Be careful and hopefully, be smart.
Harry
I myself must have quit at least 100 times or more and thinking all the time, I don't need anyone's help ,I can do it alone. Wasn't very smart thinking on my part and I found out that, in a better way, when I finally asked for help and meant it.
Just wanted to add, I found a better way in AA and I found that I don't have to suffer like that ever again, or drink again.
Be careful and hopefully, be smart.
Harry
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Thanks for the frankness Harry. I know about my many failures in the past, and you would be right in questioning my effectiveness. I probably should have went to a doctor the last 2 days. My stubborness and embarrasment stopped me from doing so. Admittedly not smart, and the type of withdrawal I go through is dangerous. Today though, I really am on the up an up. Not feeling well by any means, but much better. Which normally would not happen for me by the 3rd day, but I really do feel better.
As for trying different methods, I started with this online support group, also, I sucked up some pride and admitted to my parents (who I am currently temporarrily living with due to my seperation) that I have a drinking problem, and am attempting to quit. I have been hiding away and not telling them how severe the withdrawal is.
I honestly believe that another drop off the wagon, may put me past rock bottom. So yes I'm frightened. Whether I want to take the route of AA is the question. I know many here will suggest that.
As for trying different methods, I started with this online support group, also, I sucked up some pride and admitted to my parents (who I am currently temporarrily living with due to my seperation) that I have a drinking problem, and am attempting to quit. I have been hiding away and not telling them how severe the withdrawal is.
I honestly believe that another drop off the wagon, may put me past rock bottom. So yes I'm frightened. Whether I want to take the route of AA is the question. I know many here will suggest that.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Thing is, CJ, you don't have to "join" AA to go to a few meetings and see what it's about. There's no requirement that you admit you're an alcoholic, there's no requirement that you say anything at all.
A lot of people are very surprised when they go to their first meetings and find that they feel right at home there. It's also true that different meetings have a very different "flavor"--if you don't like the first one you go to, it's worth checking out a few more before making up your mind about it.
Heck, considering the fact that there's no obligation whatsoever, it seems kinda like you might be cheating yourself not to at least check it out.
A lot of people are very surprised when they go to their first meetings and find that they feel right at home there. It's also true that different meetings have a very different "flavor"--if you don't like the first one you go to, it's worth checking out a few more before making up your mind about it.
Heck, considering the fact that there's no obligation whatsoever, it seems kinda like you might be cheating yourself not to at least check it out.
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I understand your point Lexie. I will seriously consider it. At the time being I just want to crall under a rock. I can get through the detox, its the long term recovery I keep having a problem with. Sad considering how healthy I've felt getting past 30 days. Why would I ever pick up a drink again. I really do understand the power of the is affliction. It can drag you into the pits of hell at any time.
Tomorrow will be day 4. I've always loved getting to that day. You are past the most severe part and there is a feeling of hope. Ironically sad how I say I always love getting to that day, and that its filled with hope in the same paragraph. Shows how many times I've failed. But not just is it day 4, but it would have been my 12 year marriage anniversary. That's going to make it difficult. Though many of you would have assumed the break up was due to my drinking it actually wasn't. The ex drinks fairly heavily, but still no where near my level. It was actually due to her many years of attempting to make Tiger Woods look faithful. Though she wasn't as drunk as much, at times she would get terribly violent as well. Punching me in the face for any slight. Once she even through broken glass at my face, cutting the sides of my face up, and narrowly missing my eyes.
That of course used to give me a lot of excuses to drink. I think getting out of that situation was another healthy move to a better future. I stayed because I considered I didn't deserve better. No good alcoholic that I was. I was just damaged goods myself. How could I expect better. The sad thing is, as bad as it was, I'm feel terribly lonely now. But I can never expect a better future until I heal myself.
Tomorrow will be day 4. I've always loved getting to that day. You are past the most severe part and there is a feeling of hope. Ironically sad how I say I always love getting to that day, and that its filled with hope in the same paragraph. Shows how many times I've failed. But not just is it day 4, but it would have been my 12 year marriage anniversary. That's going to make it difficult. Though many of you would have assumed the break up was due to my drinking it actually wasn't. The ex drinks fairly heavily, but still no where near my level. It was actually due to her many years of attempting to make Tiger Woods look faithful. Though she wasn't as drunk as much, at times she would get terribly violent as well. Punching me in the face for any slight. Once she even through broken glass at my face, cutting the sides of my face up, and narrowly missing my eyes.
That of course used to give me a lot of excuses to drink. I think getting out of that situation was another healthy move to a better future. I stayed because I considered I didn't deserve better. No good alcoholic that I was. I was just damaged goods myself. How could I expect better. The sad thing is, as bad as it was, I'm feel terribly lonely now. But I can never expect a better future until I heal myself.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
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CJ - I went through withdrawals and I stayed quit for 2.5 years without a doctor or AA. So you can do it.
I do think I made it harder for myself by not seeking help. Due to some mental issues, though, I just couldn't ask for help. Pride, fear, you name it. The big baddies were all there. Heck, I didn't even come to SR until a couple of weeks ago. I just couldn't talk to anybody about my alcoholism.
I know how you're feeling, and I know how hard it is just to reach out a little bit. So far, you're doing great with this. Keep on keeping on.
Here's something I'll throw out: I made myself a promise in those early days. If I decided I couldn't stay sober alone, I'd suck up all my fear and pride and seek some help.
Maybe you can make yourself a promise like that and stick to it?
I understand 100% not wanting to deal face-to-face with other human beings in these early days. You're so miserable that you just want to be left alone. You may need some time to get to a point that you want to deal with other people. Just don't let yourself relapse out of stubbornness or fear. There's no shame in saying you can't do it alone.
I do think I made it harder for myself by not seeking help. Due to some mental issues, though, I just couldn't ask for help. Pride, fear, you name it. The big baddies were all there. Heck, I didn't even come to SR until a couple of weeks ago. I just couldn't talk to anybody about my alcoholism.
I know how you're feeling, and I know how hard it is just to reach out a little bit. So far, you're doing great with this. Keep on keeping on.
Here's something I'll throw out: I made myself a promise in those early days. If I decided I couldn't stay sober alone, I'd suck up all my fear and pride and seek some help.
Maybe you can make yourself a promise like that and stick to it?
I understand 100% not wanting to deal face-to-face with other human beings in these early days. You're so miserable that you just want to be left alone. You may need some time to get to a point that you want to deal with other people. Just don't let yourself relapse out of stubbornness or fear. There's no shame in saying you can't do it alone.
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That's good advice lildawg. That's a promise I can make to myself. But right now I don't want to be in any kind of meeting. I'm not interested in talking to anyone about it face to face. Typing these messages is all I can do right now. I'd fall apart in any other situation.
On top of that I just got a call from my ex asking me if I can look after the kids, so she can go to the movies with "someone". I never asked who, but further references avoiding any name, such as "this person", tells me its a date. I don't feel I'm in a state to deal with this right now. There is a whole range of emotions popping up right now. Don't worry, dealing with it by drinking is not on the table. I couldn't really tell her I can't because I'm going through withdrawal. Thoughts of her rediculing me with another man, referring to the fact that she can't go out "due to her loser drunk ex" flashed in my head. I said yes. I do want to see my girls. I just don't want to deal with these emotions right now.
On top of that I just got a call from my ex asking me if I can look after the kids, so she can go to the movies with "someone". I never asked who, but further references avoiding any name, such as "this person", tells me its a date. I don't feel I'm in a state to deal with this right now. There is a whole range of emotions popping up right now. Don't worry, dealing with it by drinking is not on the table. I couldn't really tell her I can't because I'm going through withdrawal. Thoughts of her rediculing me with another man, referring to the fact that she can't go out "due to her loser drunk ex" flashed in my head. I said yes. I do want to see my girls. I just don't want to deal with these emotions right now.
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Well, I was feeling better earlier than I am now. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about there. About 9 more hours till I hit the famous 72 hour mark. I find these little goals help.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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The reason why I always recommend a doctor?
I'd been been through withdrawals hundreds of times - I was a master.
The last time? I suffered a series of mini strokes...I was really lucky it wasn't worse.
I didn't even know what was wrong with me until some time after because I was too proud, too stubborn, and too scared to see a doctor.
It's 3 years on, and I'll always carry around the little legacies of that decision not to seek help.
I'm glad you feel ok CJ, but for anyone reading this, it's always better to be safe than sorry.
'Go see a doctor' is, IMO, great advice.
D
I'd been been through withdrawals hundreds of times - I was a master.
The last time? I suffered a series of mini strokes...I was really lucky it wasn't worse.
I didn't even know what was wrong with me until some time after because I was too proud, too stubborn, and too scared to see a doctor.
It's 3 years on, and I'll always carry around the little legacies of that decision not to seek help.
I'm glad you feel ok CJ, but for anyone reading this, it's always better to be safe than sorry.
'Go see a doctor' is, IMO, great advice.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 08-15-2010 at 03:34 PM.
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Wise advice Dee. The names not Chris though. 
We'll just leave it with my initials for now. C.J.
May I ask what symptoms you were feeling when you had the ministrokes?
And yes feeling safe rather than sorry is wise advice. The unfortunate thing is, for many of us, when we are going through severe withdrawal, we are not thinking clearly, and make stupid decisions. For some the cost is great.
We'll just leave it with my initials for now. C.J.May I ask what symptoms you were feeling when you had the ministrokes?
And yes feeling safe rather than sorry is wise advice. The unfortunate thing is, for many of us, when we are going through severe withdrawal, we are not thinking clearly, and make stupid decisions. For some the cost is great.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
As you can tell on these boards here CJ, others have had success at staying sober without going to AA. Myself, I knew deep inside I couldn't do it alone. I chose AA and it has worked for me. I had a very good friend of my family who died something like 35 years sober and never entered the doors of AA. Not only that, he and his family had a very good happy and healthful life once he got sober and cleared up.
One thing you will find here at SoberRecovery is a lot of help and support from people who care. People just like us and have experienced what you are going through now.
Hang in there and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
Harry
One thing you will find here at SoberRecovery is a lot of help and support from people who care. People just like us and have experienced what you are going through now.
Hang in there and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
Harry
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Originally Posted by CJ1 
Wise advice Dee. The names not Chris though. We'll just leave it with my initials for now. C.J.
May I ask what symptoms you were feeling when you had the ministrokes?
And yes feeling safe rather than sorry is wise advice. The unfortunate thing is, for many of us, when we are going through severe withdrawal, we are not thinking clearly, and make stupid decisions. For some the cost is great.
We'll just leave it with my initials for now. C.J.May I ask what symptoms you were feeling when you had the ministrokes?
And yes feeling safe rather than sorry is wise advice. The unfortunate thing is, for many of us, when we are going through severe withdrawal, we are not thinking clearly, and make stupid decisions. For some the cost is great.
When I was detoxing the last time I was very disorientated, very uncoordinated, I was very weak (much more than usual) and I had a lot of cognitive difficulty - even simple things like making a coffee or putting a CD were beyond me and took several attempts.
The problem is many those symptoms are familiar to many others here, with more or less degrees of severity.
That's why I think it's important for anyone to see a Dr for a professional diagnosis if you're at all worried.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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CJ welcome and congratulations on your decision to get sober. You're definitely in the right place if you need the support of wonderful people who've been there. Just keep in mind that the best is yet to come, and as your physical withdrawls fade, allow your mental strength to grow. You'll be great! You too Irish!! xoxo
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Hey everyone. Last night went all right. I took the kids for a nice walk in the park, and brought them to a playground so they could have a little fun. The walk did me some good. I definitely wasn't feeling well, but never let that cause problems for girls.
Today is day 4. I'm feeling a lot better. Every day will only get better from here on in, as long as I'm not stupid and relapse. Feeling very positive right now about the future. I know I can do this. A man on another forum once wrote, "I had to drink every drink I drank, to realize I could never drink again. " I feel like that right now. Those past relapses have added up to a final certain break. I can still have a future.
Today is day 4. I'm feeling a lot better. Every day will only get better from here on in, as long as I'm not stupid and relapse. Feeling very positive right now about the future. I know I can do this. A man on another forum once wrote, "I had to drink every drink I drank, to realize I could never drink again. " I feel like that right now. Those past relapses have added up to a final certain break. I can still have a future.
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