shelly009

WHILE DRIVING and hes calling me on his cellphone!!! I am soo mad... not only is that so unsupportive my first week of sobriety but its super dangerous and STUPID. He could hurt someone or himself! I hope he gets pulled over... is that mean of me to think? He shouldnt be driving... when I questioned him he said that he actually didnt drink that much but I can tell by the way hes talking that hes drunk. This is out of character for him as he doesnt usually drink and drive. But hes been drinking for 4 or 5 hours so hes obviously loaded. He is driving 30 minutes in very busy traffic...UGGG I am so frustrated!!!

We have two children and I am supposed to go with a friend in a half hour to drop off her children with thier dad (long story) Now I have to take our kids with me... and it might not be a pleasant situation. What a mess!!!!!!

What would you do?

Anna

I would probably call the police.

Focus on your own sobriety and you can get through this.

shelly009

You know... I could... he has a very distinctive old 66 convertable car that would be spotted in a heartbeat. And I have a pretty good idea where he is right now.

flutter

I would absolutely call the police.

editing to add.. try to focus on you, I am sure his behavior doesn't make your recovery any easier!!

lillyrose

I couldn't answer this for you. if he is drink driving, if you can call him and get him to pull over, that would be a start. but hang on to your own sobriety. When you see what regret he will wake up with in the morning, this should reinforce it for you. I don't know your story and as much as he should be pulled over by police, I would totally understand any reluctance to call them on him. But yes, he could hurt someone. He might not, he might. But either way, concentrate on yourself. Because if you're strong, you stay strong, and you will be able to help him get strong.

ironlung

The police will ruin his life and in turn yours. Getting hooked in with the law is one of the worst possible moves. Why can't you be loyal to him and work it out?

loveon2legs

Hi Shelly,
My hubby has done this as well..and when he arrived home..safely thank god..I let him know that under no circumstances will I knowlingly have him on the road drunk....and told him I would call the police....I was arrested in January for a DUI...and was so upset with him..he's taken it seriously though and now cabs it home or has a friend drive him...

Big Hugs Shelly....

lillyrose

I understand where she is coming from though. nothing at all to do with drink driving but I know when someone does something illegal, you love them, sometimes it's not worth what's gonna be the consequences from that. And sometimes a wife's condemnation can hit harder than that of the police. It's not so much about being loyal as counting the odds, if you can get him to pull over or get home safely, i wouldn't call the police. I know I've driven drunk sometimes and that would have huge repercussions on me because I wouldn't be admitted to be a lawyer if I was caught. Most of the time I can control myself by that consequence. But I'm sure a wife understands just as much.

ironlung

Getting a DUI is like committing murder though, although maybe a wake up call can really screw someones life up. Should be last resort IMO. If you do that to someone you love, that is just wrong.

Anna

Excuse me?

Do you not realize that someone driving drunk could kill your wife/mother/child?

lillyrose

I advocate getting him to pull over yourself. That's the point i'm trying to make. It's a difficult decision to make. There is a chance someone could get hurt. I would demand he pull over and wait till I come get him. I don't condone him driving at all and maybe it's different in different countries but I know some families couldnt' afford the consequences from a DUI

ironlung

Perhaps.. chances are not likely and the law is wayyyy overboard on the charges of DUI. Getting a person a DUI means loss of job, major financial burden, felony record to mess up job oppertunities. It's like a bad rehabilitation program that does nothing but make things worse for the person.

Anna

And, if you kill someone while driving drunk, you can be charged with vehicular manslaughter and spend years in prison. Not to mention the fact that you would have destroyed the lives of many other people.

lillyrose

not advocating it at all. but if you knew how many drunk drivers were out on the road at any one time you would be shocked. If you can get your husband home safe. I wouldn't call the police. if you cant, do what u have to do

smacked

Well.. if you have knowledge that he is driving drunk, which you do, and he hits and kills a kid crossing the street, you would be (and should be) charged with contributory negligence for NOT calling the cops. Not trying to be dramatic..its just what happens, because based on your knowledge you could have prevented it from happening, and did nothing.

Whan he makes it home, and I hope he does safely.. let him know if it happens again, you will call the police. And that does not mean you turn into a chauffer for him..who has the alcohol issue here anyways?

ironlung

Another bogus law... if you killed someone while drunk and is was gross negligebce then yes, put them away. However, if it couldn't be avoided and/or just a pull over why treat a person with a problem like a violent criminal?

loveon2legs

My DUI was a life saver for me....as much as I am ashamed of myself...I wouldn't be where I am today...and I thank GOD every day I didn't kill or injure somebody.......I think drunk driving is a total deal breaker....

lillyrose

I definitely agree, but the consequences can be greater than any lesson learned. I got pulled over at just the legal limit, one sip more and I would have been over, done for DUI. That first made me think, do I have a problem? But at the same time, it is the person who helps provide for you, the person u love. And especially in australia there are drunk and drugged drivers all over the road, none of them get caught. it's a difficult moral question but it is a balancing act

ironlung

I've been a drunk driver for years and an extra careful. ****heads who are wasated runi it for all. That makes the 2 drink dinner person get busted and has to go to AA protocol fo almost nothing.

Anna

Ironlung,

It may be a 'bogus' law in your eyes, but it is nevertheless a law, at least in Canada.

And, if you injured someone while driving drunk, you would likely be sued and suffer financially for the rest of your life.