Emmy69

Friday I fly down and meet up with 15 other friends/guys for our annual 4 day Myrtle Beach golf trip. We've done this every year for 14 years. It was pretty wild the first few years but as the crew has aged a bit, we all mellowed somewhat. But it's still a huge drink-fest starting 5 minutes after we land until we pour each other onto our respective planes on Monday.

I'll hit my 60 day sobriety mark on Sat. and obviously I'm really nervous about maintaining it. This will be a real test. I would have canceled, but I already prepaid (non-refundable) many months ago over $1,000.

The daylight golf portion should be no problem as I never drink much on the course anyway. But the dinners and nightlife have always been a blast and will test my fortitude! I haven't seen any of these guys since I quit, so I'm not sure what the reaction will be when I order root beer all weekend. But, I figure if I can succeed at this I can do anything!

Anyway I'll report back to SR on Tuesday and will either be very proud of myself, or very discouraged. Wish me luck.

augustwest

You need a plan. Are you in AA? You can get a meeting schedule online and plan some meetings. Even call the hotline down there and get someone in the program to meet you or at least give a phone number. This could be a dangerous time for you. Be careful and have fun!

Ronan

I don't think I would have the guts to try this - have already canceled plans for a boozy holiday with friends during the summer because I know I simply wouldn't have fun being sober with everyone else falling around the place (drunks can be quite boring as you probably know well). If you think you can do it then go for it; that said, people might become pretty annoying, and also annoyed at you after a few drinks.

1k is a lot of money, but is it worth jeopardizing your sobriety for? Like I said, if you're strong enough to pull through it then it'll be a real watermark for how far your recovery has come.

Good luck whatever you choose!

Mark75

I agree with the Mr. West, go to meetings if you can... Going to meetings out of town on vacation is something I look forward to... I'm sure Myrtle Beach has plenty.

I do some canoe camping trips and ski trips with buddies and family, and they are definitely "wet"... I had to battle the self pity thing early on.... Hmmm, Out of 15 people, there has to be a couple that don't pound 'em down all weekend???

They won't care what you are drinking, you may think they will, but believe me, it don't matter...

Stay centered, focus and remember why you went... to golf. Be grateful that you get to go to a sunny, warm and beautiful place by the sea.... and don't, I'm serious, don't feel sorry for yourself just because you ain't drinkin'!!!

HumbleBee

Hello Emmy,

Congratulations on your sober time.

Isn't it ironic that 60 days sober falls smack in the middle of your upcoming weekend challenge?

Bring any and all tools that you have been given or learned in these 58+ sober days with you. I would not just go back and read your posts from day 1 of posting here on SR, I would recommend printing them off and bringing them with you, including the wonderful replies you gave to other newcomers about how good you feel being sober. Refer to them often.

Of special mention is the post about your friend's mom who you witnessed with alcohol dementia - I'll never forget that and I wasn't even physically there, but knew in my heart that I was only one drink away from being in her place.

Try not to let the past behaviors of the Myrtle Beach (or any other) weekend set the precedent for what should be happening today. Living in recovery is about developing new habits and behaviors not just in our drinking, but in our thinking.

Try not to add to any stress by playing the what if game before you even head off to Myrtle Beach - that's exhausting - bring your tools and use them when necessary.

Finally, having the ability to wake up fresh and raring to go for a full day of golf without feeling green on the green might be motivation to stay sober. There's no rule that says a night-time blast can only be had with alcohol. Best wishes to you.

least

It can be hard to stay sober in the face of such temptation and old habits, but it CAN be done. Make sobriety your first priority. I think you'll find you have a lot more fun sober... and able to remember everything too is a big bonus.

yeahgr8

Just my experience but i would have cancelled regardless of the loss of money...i actually sold a car quick for half the money i paid for it 5 months previously so i could avoid havingto take a job in the first few months...but then again i accepted i was an alcoholic and it was either get sober or live a miserable screwed up life...

Good luck to you and whatever happens try and enjoy it would be my advice, no use in beating yourself up whilst you are there if the worse happens!

Andi

Hey Emmy,

I can see why you are worried, I was too when I had to go to some events last weekend (my post: party night).
It is pretty tiresome, but it can be done. I can't look inside your heart and mind, but what is your gutfeeling telling you (or HP )? If you're too stressed about it, consider canceling anyway just like Yeahgr8 said. I read some other great suggestions above and I hope they help you if you do go.
Who knows, maybe some of your friends might actually be relieved that someone is not drinking and they can take it easy themselves?
If not, observe and use how others become when drinking as a reminder of what you left behind!

SR is with you, I wish you lots of luck!!

Anna

Hi Emmy,

I wish you well on your weekend.

I couldn't have done that. The stress would have been overwhelming to me.

Gypsy Feet

When I quit 16 months ago I knew I was done. In my heart, I truly believed I could never drink again. So my post would read differently. It would either say:

I prepaid 1K to go, if I showed up and the plane was missing a wing, would I get on anyway just because its non-refundable?

or

I am going on this trip and one of two things will happen. I will either discover I can have fun and not drink, and come back more knowledgeable or I will go and fins out hanging out with drunks while sober all weekend sucks, and come back more
knowledgeable.

good luck

Emmy69

Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. Just reading those gives me strength. A couple observations.

Mark75 you're right. I'm really focusing on how much I enjoy the warm weather, the great golf and relaxing. I'm so lucky to have a past time I really enjoy and this is the highlight of my year. 6 rounds in 4 days at some of the best courses in the country. I'll focus on that.

Also I'm not going into this with the thought of what I'm missing out on. I'm trying to take the approach of an observer. It's not about me. Really take in what's going on around me and see how different it will be from all the other trips. I may be naive to think that I won't have cravings, but right now my biggest concern is not making other folks feel uncomfortable, and being able to have a naturally good time as we always have.

Humble, thanks for the advice. You mentioned my friends mother. Well, he's one of the guys coming on the trip, and I expect we'll have an opportunity to have a couple deep conversations, and I expect he will fully support me.

Thanks again for all your support. And the good news is at night anyways I'll probably be the most popular guy in the group. Finding a sober designated drivers is always a challenge!

Rev

One way you can relieve the pressure from your friends to drink is to tell them it's doctor's orders. I don't generally advocate lying, but I'm guessing from the way you describe the situation, you are not the only one going who has a drinking problem. And unrecovering alcoholics can be less than supportive of those who have chosen to quit. Might be easier than giving them the whole story.

Just my 2¢

Rev

Andi

Hey Emmy,

Not sure when you are back, but I hope things are working out! Would love to hear from you.

Freeport

Emmy, hope it went well, meaning I hope you maintained your sobriety over the weekend. I have tackled several similar challenges the past year, and in retrospect, they were all easier than I expected. Having a plan and simply recognizing that I AM the biggest impediment to my sobriety got me through such challenges. That and a lot of high-quality root beer. You know you can spend almost as much on per bottle of good root beer as you can on quality craft beers? Course, I usually stop after a couple of those powerful soda pops...

Dee74

how's it going Emmy?

D

Emmy69

Hi All. Thanks for all your inquiries and concern. I did make it through the golf weekend sober. It wasn't easy, especially the first day and night, but after that it got easier. I did sort of wimp out and took Rev's advise and said I had a medical "situation" that required no drinking. No one gave me a hard time about it and looking back now, I don't think they would have reacted any different if I just told the truth. But bottom line is I made it, everyone was supportive and I really enjoyed playing golf without a hangover. There are a couple guys in the group that definitely have drinking problems. One of them jokingly said "I've thought of sobering up, but God hates a quitter".

I just smiled. If he only knew!

Andi

YYeeaahhhhh!!

Well done Emmy, so happy for you! And thanks for sharing, you make my evening even better :-))

MyGraySkies

Way to go Emmy! So glad to hear such a terrific update!

Ronan

That's awesome to hear Emmy! Well done

HumbleBee

What an awesome achievement, Emmy! That isn't easy - you should be proud.

I'll venture to guess that seeing your contentment with sobriety was an inspiration for your other friends (despite the joking).

So this means you reached 60 sober days on Saturday, right?!?

Congratulations!!